And then MIL turned up. She brought fresh roses for me - and told me it was to make me feel better.

I have to chuckle if she thinks that fresh roses makes up for a nothing of a visit. We wanted HER not ROSES!

She disappeared out of the kitchen and that was that.

We sat down to dinner which was very nice. Everything came together nicely - nothing was under or over cooked and that is always a good thing. Super-mom's husband proclaimed this to be the best Thanksgiving meal he'd ever had. MIL's husband proclaimed that my stuffing is the best he's ever had. In my family we have a tradition of singing "We Gather Together" as our prayer for the meal and everyone joined in with me, so that was pretty cool to me.

Everyone ate their hearts out and we were sitting around the table 45 minutes or so after dinner being served when the doorbell rang. It was Hubby's brother and SIL. Yep - HIS brother and HIS SIL. Sorry, I can't quite claim them as anything to me at this point.

With their arrival, MIL and her husband excused themselves from the table and headed into the family room to visit with their son and DIL. My Hubby calls his brother "The Good Son" only half-jokingly. I've seen the reason behind that (his step-siblings call him the same thing) in the past - but I REALLY saw the reason behind that this time.

I'll just say the MIL would not come in for pie with everyone else (and her husband was not allowed to since she didn't). She would not talk to or associate with anyone else but The Good Son until he left - around 8pm. The Good Son tried to start fights with my Hubby on about three different occasions and twice with me. Other than starting the fights with us, he never really said anything directly to us and his wife would stop talking if she thought we were trying to be in the conversation. Needless to say, it was a very pleasant afternoon. HA!

After The Good Son left, MIL and her husband and my Hubby and I just stared at each other for about forty minutes. By then the house had cleared out and it was just the four of us.

Eventually the chatting did start. And from there we heated the hot tub and went out for a soak.

I used to be able to chatter at my MIL but this visit was just awful. She didn't have anything to say and if she did, it wasn't nice. I, at one point, wanted to tell her about the band but by Thurs evening had decided I didn't want to. Hubby didn't understand and I didn't know how to articulate why, but eventually she asked what my news was and he told her and that was that. Now I know that I didn't want to tell her because I felt like she wasn't (isn't) really going to be supportive. She isn't going to be judgmental, but she isn't' going to be supportive and I don't want to tell anyone who doesn't get it. But like I said, I couldn't articulate that and so Hubby, not knowing better, spilled the beans. He thought he was helping because he was thinking I was mad and therefore was withholding information, and he was thinking that talking about this would get everyone to open up. But that wasn't really the issue. It's a need to know thing and I just don't see that she really needs to know.

Anyway, now she knows. And she wasn't judgmental or supportive. So there I go.

Their departure Friday morning was as awkward as their visit. On the Friday after Thanksgiving my Hubby and I have a tradition in the works where we make paninis out of all the leftovers. Super-mom and her clan all came back for this event and MIL and her husband knew of these plans and even had to be first in line. They got theirs put together first and promptly ate them while I was grilling the rest of the sandwiches. I had one sandwich left on the grill which was ready to come off but I needed my Hubby's plate (it was his panini) out of the microwave where everything else was being reheated. And MIL and husband had to leave right then. This panini grill I have is a cast iron thing so it's not like you turn the heat off and it stops cooking. I just needed to get that sandwich off the grill and I could walk out with everyone. But they couldn't wait for the five seconds left on the microwave.

I did get that sandwich onto the plate and onto the table and then scurried after them to see them off. And MIL's husband promptly told me - oh, don't let me keep you from your food.

GRRR!!! It wasn't about that! I DIDN'T WANT TO BURN THE FRIGGIN SANDWICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Get out of my house then, prick!

Ok, calm down, Lori. Sigh....

They got on the road to head off to, as MIL called it "The prestigious wedding".

And we got to get back to normal.

The rest of Friday was low key and easy. My Hubby had the guys over for a poker game that evening and I went to Super-mom's house to play games with her and her husband. It was a nice evening.

Speaking of games, the plan had always been to play games with everyone on Thanksgiving evening and everyone knew it. But while The Good Son was there he decided it was a waste of time - and so MIL and her husband refused to play as well. However, instead of telling us that, they let us continue to wait for them. And ultimately so much time passed that Super-mom's kids were tired and ready for bed.

I'm telling you, MIL has lost a lot of my respect.

I think what's worst about it is I know how my mom would have been - all this just makes me miss her that much more. She would have been chomping at the bit to get some time with everyone she doesn't get to see and she would have been amenable to the GROUP! She was such a group oriented person. She was so kind and sweet without being a pushover. She was funny and charismatic and she could be friends with EVERYONE, not just the chosen one! I have this standard in my head for a mom to behave like and up until now I thought MIL was somewhat close. But I can't and don't think that anymore and it's disappointing! It's VERY disappointing to end up finding out who you thought was a great MIL is really just an ordinary MIL.

I don't want to be one of those when I get there. I want to be a mom like I had. And I want to be a MIL that is open and receptive to EVERYONE in the family! My Hubby, bless his heart, is so used to this that all he can ever do when she does this stuff is say "That's my mother". He has literally given up caring. At least he can't get hurt if he doesn't care. But she is missing out on who he is soooo much. But now here I am joining him. Here I am saying I have to stop caring because I hate how all this felt. I can't continue to crawl out on the limb just to have her saw it off. And while this isn't the first time she's pulled her stunts, it's certainly the worst, in my book.

Part 4 coming shortly....

Sorry things went so bad. I use to think the world of my MIL too. Now I am just disappointed in her. I don't want her to know I am getting a lapband either because she will be loudly against it. She lives with us though so I know she is going to find out. I am just delaying it as much as possible. I am so tired of her "opinions".