Manipulative FOOD MONSTER
Well, he's at it again. I am still reading the Gabriel Method and my Food Monster is telling me that I don't need the Lap-Band. I just need to do what John Gabriel says, he tells me. "Um yeah, Food Monster. If that worked, I would be skinny already because every new diet book I find sounds like a great idea, until it doesn't.", I say to him.
Today is much better than the last two. I am thinking about food a little less. I even feel a little thinner today. Maybe the pre-op diet is working. Or maybe it is my imagination.
Unlike most of you who have lost weight and regained it, I have never lost more than 20 lbs at once. (And that took 2 years). I can't remember how it feels to be thin. I haven't felt it in about 33 years.
Feeling hopeful that the lap-band will work for me, I tried to recall yesterday how it felt to be lean. I remembered being a child of about 9, playing outside in a halter top. A halter top! My shoulders haven't seen the sun in over a quarter of a century! I can vaguely recall the feeling of running, the wind flying past my ears and my body working exactly as it should. I have no fear of falling or rolling my ankle or embarrassment over the fat that is trembling and shaking behind me as my feet slam into the pavement. I am not worried about arch supports or proper alignment. I know without question that my body will take me where I want to go. I move at the speed of light using skates or my bike or my own two feet to get there. Now, that is living.
So, when was the last time you felt good in your body?
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