Tonight I went to a birthday dinner at my bf's sister house. Just his immediate family were there. Some of them I have not seen in months and can't believe all the woman would not say a word when I took off my coat. His Mom had plenty to say when I was 42 pounds heavier. But now thinner.....

No, No words. His 2 sisters did not say anything. I can't believe the compliments I rec'd were from 2 men at the gathering. One was elderly but he has met me before at that house and was like wow, u look different, You lost alot of weight. I responed and said yes, 42 pounds and 42 to go. He told me how great I look and still all the woman said NOTHING<>>> How hateful......The second man that spoke up was my bf's bother in law Big Dave. He came right into the dinning room area and soflty said that I was doing great and keep up the good work. He said he can really see it in my face. He is around 50 years old and he is very handsome. I was so embarrased when he came over to tell me he notice but it felt good. I really can tell now that I have gone done 3 sizes. I just feel so hurt and his Mom can't find any kindness in her heart and compliment me. She is so negative and is not a nice person. I love my b/f with all my heart. I really don't share with him how I feel b/c I don't think he wants to hear it. He knows that his Mom is abrasive because we have spoke about it before. He loves her but does know that she can be a bit hard to handle sometimes. He is her only son. She also has 2 sisters.

I need some advice. I feel like, do I really want to go and be with them for the holiday.

I am expected to go with him for all the holidays coming up b/c I have no family in Ct. My parents and brother live in central florida. Thanks MOM !!!

Im sorry to hear that you weren't given the compliments that you deserve!! 42 lbs! good for you!! Sounds like jealousy, really that all it is in my opinion.. I recently got banded and Im sure I will have good and not so good reactions from people, but oh well! Im feeling really good so far! GL with everything!

I have people that I work with everyday who have not said a single word to me. Now I have lost 68 pounds about (a small child) worth of wt. I look so different and wear new and smaller clothes and still they say nothing. I did stop looking for those complements from them. Because I know will it never happen from them. I have to Watch Out for those (expectations) that will never be there. I always get hurt....

So I do not allow myself to be hurt by such insensitive people. Who by the way are extremely JEALOUS of you. By the way Jealousy is worse than hate. So that says a lot about those kind of people!!! LOL. Do not go looking for something that may not be there. Enjoy their company and be your Beautiful, Skinnier, Compassionate self. They may find it in their heart someday to say something nice but it will happen when you least expect it. I think YOU LOOK MARVELOUS my dear. I am HAPPY for you and you by all means have the right to feel good about yourself. Do not let the others take any more space in your head. They are so not worth it. Best wishes to you and sending you all the GOOD feelings I can. imaluckydog Kathy

thanks so much Kathy. You made my night. You are right that I should not give this too much thought. I hate jealousy....It hurts b/c I am so kind to others and always look for the best in people. I am seeing things very clear right now and it is just so mean to be so hateful.

thanks again.

Hi Eileen - we all know that women are MEAN - don't let it get you down! You have lost 42lbs! OMG - 42! That is amazing!

You are the better person for sticking it out, and being there. Just think, by the time the Christmas holidays come along, you will be even thinner.

I am in Connecticut, too....and it's not that big a state, if you need a shoulder to lean on!

Joanne

They were probably just speechless because they couldn't find anything to criticize you about. And listen, you do what you feel is best about the holidays but let me share this with you: What if you refused to waste the happiest time of the year on people who are going to ruin it? We have been tricked into thinking that we HAVE to spend it with family but you don't! Spend your happy times with the people you want to be around. It will change your life.

And don't let those bitches get you down! If all they have to do is make you feel bad for getting healthy, their lives are pathetic and none of your energy should be spent on anything but pity for them. You can always pity them from afar (while you are flitting about town in your pretty new body)

My m.i.l says if ive lost 10lbs im kidding myself, well over 60 lbs and still no comment but as you say plenty before. Spiteful people. or??????

good luck and happy holidays.

chooky

Some people just can't stand to see anyone do well. It sounds like your BF's Mother and Sisters are like that. I agree that its jealous that is the root of this. Don't let them get you down. Ask your Boyfriend if you can trade off spend one Holiday with his Family and one Holiday making your own new Traditions maybe travel somewhere just the two of you?