Frustrated - Time to Vent
Current Mood: The title says it all
Here I am 12 days post op, having made bets on how much weight I would lose by the time of my first post op doctor visit, and I'm stalled.... already!
Ok, I get that the first 5 pounds just dropped off from being on liquids for a couple of days, then the next 5-6 were probably from this very low calorie soft food diet and not being able to eat much as a result of swelling. Now, however, the swelling is down and I don't feel any restriction. I am trying to make the right choices and I'm walking around hungry most of the time but the scale has not budged since Tuesday except to go up or down the same 2 lbs.
Restriction: My doctor put 3ccs in my band when he put it in 12 days ago. Last night I ate the inside of a calzone (ricotta, mozarella, mushrooms and a bit of ham). I chewed, I made it last, I swallowed small bits at a time and did not drink. I still managed to eat all of it which was more than the 4 oz my pouch is supposed to hold...it was more like 8 oz and I just couldn't stop myself!
I know the band is only a tool and it will take a lot of work and self control on my part but I thought one of the major functions of this tool was to make is very unpleasant to eat too much. It's not doing that for me yet. I guess that's why it takes 5-6 fills to get it right.
Also, I'm disappointed with myself for lacking control. I've just gone through this physically painful ordeal, subjected myself to surgery and anesthesia, taken off work and put my family through some major machinations yet I couldn't even make it through 2 weeks of the prescribed diet! I am weak.
And, to make things even worse, I am so constipated from this high protein diet with practically no fiber from vegetables and fruit. I remember one of my many past diets was Atkins - I felt the same way then and got very corked up and cranky. I just went off that diet and everything normalized. That's no longer an option.
To top it all off, I'm pre-menstrual and this is my "ravenous hunger" week. I dreamed of pizza!
That's certainly enough bitching and moaning for one post. If you've made it this far, I apologize for you having read my crankiness. I will try to think and act positively.
Positive: My pants were definitely sliding down my hips yesterday and I am no longer short of breath.
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