So I am on the "unweightloss" program right now. When I finally was able to see my insurance company's policy regarding weightloss surgery I read in exact terms this:

This is frustrating to say the least. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW. AND I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR GOOD.

I am seriously struggling with this. In fact, with just changing my diet and not even my exercise levels, I seem to have misplaced TEN pounds over the past four days! I knew it was coming. My weight issues have always revolved around my hormone inbalances created by being a wonderful glorious woman (said dripping with sarcasm). Once a month - lasting for about a week - no matter what I do, I can't lose a single ounce. Once a month - lasting for about three days - no matter what I do, I gain five to seven pounds. And for the rest of the month, the weight melts off of me when I am behaving. Before I really discovered the trends and understood my body, this would get frustrating beyond all get out. But it's not so frustrating anymore. Now I can muscle down and just keep doing what I'm doing and know that when my hormones balance back out, I will be down.

I have said before that my weight gains have always come when I get off of birth control. It's that hormone fluctuation that makes my body go crazy. So I'm off birth control, I'm regular, and I'm "normal", too. HA!

I knew, because of where I am in my cycle, that I'd see a drop this week. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT DROP TO BE TEN FRIGGIN POUNDS!

That TEN pounds puts my BMI below 40 - therefore making me ineligible. So...I have to gain it back.

Yes, you heard me. I have to gain it back.

I really have no choice.

Unless I forego this and say "I can do this by myself". I have no doubt that "I can do this by myself". I do doubt that I can keep it off by myself. Which is why I'm here.

I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT. I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW. AND I WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT FOR GOOD.

Sigh.

I don't want to gain it back. I DON WANNA!

THIS IS SO STUPID! :thumbup:

Don't forget, you have the option of drinking gallons of water and wearing ankle weights when you weigh in. I was a little shy of the 40bmi, since I had no comorbidities, my doctor's office let me weigh while I had my purse on my shoulder. I carry a big purse.

I may have to resort to trickery but I think I'm also playing with fire. I am down 16 pounds from where I started in Oct and that's a lot of gallons to drink. My biggest problem, in my mind, though, is that I still have four more months to go. I can't lose anymore than I have which means I have to undo all my changes. Sigh. Soda doesn't taste good anymore so now I guess I have to create a new vice - eight cookies a day or something egregious like that. Maybe for dinner I'll eat mashed potatoes only. Forget the protein - on with the carbs. I have four more months of "last suppers" I can claim, right?

I'm just so ready to move on! :eek:

I do like the purse idea, though. I can get my biggest heaviest purse down - it has a padlock on it. That padlock alone weights 4 pounds - yes, we've weighed it before. Add in six bottles of water...I can work with this. :thumbup:

wow my bmi is 37.6 and I still can have my lap-band. I just have to go throw all the othere little hoops. I like reading your blog because I am going throw a few thing your going throw. today I have my psyco eval today in a few hours . Thanks again

Well, let me play the devil's advocate here for a minute. WHAT IF, rather than trying to figure out how to keep this weight on, you pursued the "lifestyle change" with all the vim and vigor you would if you were banded. WHAT IF you wholeheartedly took full advantage of the supervised weight management program and made a full effort into trying to train your body. WHAT IF you were one of the people that really CAN get it and keep it?

Just sayin' .... maybe since you have to do this time anyway, you can change your mindset into really doing what this six-month period was really intended for -- making absolute sure that you have completely and fully exhausted all your options, and there is no other alternative than to surgically change your body (which as you read on here, isn't 100% guaranteed successful, by any means).

I know, I know -- we all feel the exact same way: "If I could have done it, I would have certainly done it by now." But maybe you didn't have the benefit of that six month supervised lifestyle training before. I dunno. Just suggesting that maybe this time could be spent really giving it your all? Then if it truly doesn't work out, you can know without a tiny hint of a doubt that you did all you could, and you absolutely need to resort to surgery.

Now, with all that being said, my disclaimer is: This post was straight from the devil's advocate standpoint, and does not necessarily reflect the opinions of the poster. : )

ARbandster - let me tell you - I'm a professional devil's advocate, myself. It drives my husband crazy... And I'm devil's advocating myself to he!! right now with all the what-ifs.

I KNOW I can lose this weight on my own. I KNOW I can get down to a healthy weight on my own. I KNOW I can. I have lived more of my life as a crazy-California-style-health-nut than I have as a eat-whatever-I-want-redefined-my-definition-of-full person. I have discovered that going back to my health nut person - I'm relieved, I'm happy - I ALREADY feel better. I absolutely do not want to gain this weight back because of what it means I have to do.

So I've turned a leaf. And I am very happy for that!

I can do this. I KNOW I can.

But what if I can't keep it off? What if my hormones go crazy again, say when my hubby and I have our first kid - and it all comes rushing back again? What if I end up worse off than I am now with type II diabetes and heart disease (which killed my dad) or a weight related cancer (which killed my mom). I'm only 34 and I've been parentless for four years. I WANT to live a long and healthy life - but what if I can't keep it off?

It's a pickle, I tell you, it's a pickle!

Thanks for letting me rant...

Dolllady - good luck on the psyche eval. I was so nervous about it - didn't want to come across badly - but, ironically, I think that made me more nuttier than I actually am. :thumbup:

All you need is one co-morbidity and BMI 35+, is that right? If so, tell the doctor your knees hurt. Osteoarthritis is a co-morbidity and related to weight and...most of us over a certain age and weight do have it, even if minimally and undiagnosed. Better than trying to gain weight back.

Osteoarthritis is not a comorbidity my insurance company will accept. They accept four - type II diabetes, hypertension, pulmonary hypertension or coronary artery disease. And I'd have to have two...

rolls of quarters in your pockets! great big platform shoes! ankle weights! lots of salt! stuff your bra with pennies/rocks/bags of water! (ok - I'm getting a little silly!)

LOL - thanks for that - my coworkers are all peeking around the corner to find out what I'm laughing about...

I was wondering where you'd gone off to - how's everything going for YOU, Renebeau?

Well, I think I am going to get the sleeve. I met with the bariatric counselor twice, and she thinks the sleeve would be better for me. Plus, since Cigna doesn't cover the sleeve, I don't have to try to meet their requirements. Just self pay. And convince hubby! I was going to have to gain/use weights/etc. to meet the requirements, also. Now - no worries. All of those ideas I sent were things I thought about doing! Who are you going to have do your band? (forgive me if you told me already!)

Dr. Hollis - he's down in my area of town...

Eeee Gaddds GF!!!! Enough with the dieting!!! You know they don't work, well...not for long anyway! No one was more anxious than me to get going on the WL...as professional yo-yoers you know what I mean...we're either losing big weight or gaining it. Those stupid 6 mo. were the longest I've stayed about the same weight and it was HARD to do! I remember shoveling in the Halloween candy last year and I could hardly gain a pound...now I look at the Halloween candy and I gain one LOL (and no I haven't had one piece of it this season, proud to say). Enough with the WL...practice the other things you'll need to do...get on a tracking site and start counting calories (even if there are a LOT of them lol), count protein, I made a game out of trying to stay the same weight (it's kinda like dieting), start a spreadsheet to track you WL down the road, but for goodness sakes don't lose a drop more...DON'T diet yourself out of being eligible for the surgery! I felt lame coming here and talking about how I was trying to stay the same weight while others were struggling to lose. Trust me...for anyone here to go to the extent of getting WLS they had to hit some kind of bottom...and if asked, I'm sure most of us would have tried to keep our weight stable if that's what it took to get the surgery...but then, I'm biased because I was there. Oh, and don't count on the purse...my Nazi Nurse made me take that and my jacket off (I would however have throttled her if she'd asked for my boots). Now, eat up...I promise you it will come off later. -BG

Thanks BG - I needed that!

"Sad" part is I'm not "dieting" - I'm being conscientous about what I'm ingesting - trying to mimick what I would do post-band, except haven't adjusted the caloric intake yet to <1200 yet. So maybe I just need to eat too much of it for awhile...or maybe my hormones can help me gain some back...

I am doing the tracking site - found fitday.com through you. I have had the spreadsheet going for 5 years now. I've got it all automized and it graphs everything... I am also tracking the protein - and have discovered I'm not getting enough. That's one of the big things that has changed in the past week (hence the weightloss) is trying to increase that protein. I guess it worked. :thumbup:

Hmmm...

No more protein...

I'm self pay and as hard as that is, one of the benefits is that I don't have to jump through all the hoops. I'm sorry it is more difficult for you. My birthday was about 6 months ago and it seems less, so maybe it will go faster than you think! (Totally "rah-rah"ing for you!) :biggrin:

I think this is yet another case of the Food Monster fighting against you. Mine keeps telling me that if I am going to go through all this trouble anyway and strictly dieting, why CANT I just keep going on like this and forget about the band? The answer for me is...because I can't. I have tried. I keep on for awhile and then I quit. So, now I am placing those Food Monster thoughts in the adversary category of my brain and liken them to the alcoholic who hears "oh, one more drink can't hurt you. You've been sober for 6 months. You have a handle on your drinking and you are not an alcoholic like the others. You're cured so now you can drink socially."

No I can't.