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11/05/09: Sigh....part 2

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ldswims

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So I can do the sleep study. And then here's the trick. I have to have severe sleep apnea.

 

We shall see.

 

But here's what I'm wondering?

 

What does that help? I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER COMORBIDITIES?

 

The advocate lady says I can write a letter. I can say in my letter

 

Look, my dad died from diseases that obesity contributes to. My mom died from a cancer that can be caused by weight problems. I have enough to be concerned with in my future, I need to get this weight off FOR GOOD.

 

I can say in my letter that my weight is hormone related even though my TSH has always been "normal".

 

I can say in my letter whatever I want.

 

But. At the end of the day. Here's the big thing to take away from ALL of today. My request is very probably going to be denied. Straight from the advocate lady's lips.

 

So how much more of this do I do?

 

I mean, yeah - the six month supervised weight loss program is good for two years. So lets say I don't get approved and I can't lose the weight on my own. Well. I'd still have all this done.

 

BUT. BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT!

 

Let's think about this.

 

If I "do this on my own" and get down at ALL, then I will get down below a BMI of 40 pretty quickly. So THAT doesn't give me the history.

 

Ok. So then I need to gain weight?

 

Ok. Stay steady?

 

FOR TWO YEARS?:wub::frown::smile2:

 

Sigh.

 

So how much more of this do I do?

 

Because at the end of the day - this IS costing me money and we should definitely not be spending it right now.

 

Because at the end of the day - my insurance IS going to change on Jan 1 and depending on what option we go with, more money may be coming out of pocket pretty soon.

 

And if I'm going to do all this just to learn "I have to do it myself", well, then why did I part with even a penny?

 

Not to mention that meanwhile, as I'm waiting for this six month time period to pass I feel like I have to manipulate the weight loss so that not too much is lost. In the past month, with all the changes I DID successfully make I think I would have been down 15 pounds if I'd left well enough alone. But being scared to "lose too much weight", I, on two separate weekends, did some things to gain some of it back.

 

Why can't I just lose the weight and call it good?

 

Furthermore - I wanted, desperately wanted to be lifting weights. But I know how my body reacts to lifting weights while increasing protein and I "couldn't take that gamble" since I could conceivably lose too much.

 

Ok. So why do I want to do this?

 

Cause I WANT TO KEEP IT OFF!

 

OK. So maybe these are signs. First the insurance. Now the misinformation I was given. Maybe this is all a sign that either means 1) not now or 2) just do what you know to do....

 

Sigh....

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So I can do the sleep study. And then here's the trick. I have to have severe sleep apnea.

We shall see.

But here's what I'm wondering?

What does that help? I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER COMORBIDITIES?

The advocate lady says I can write a letter. I can say in my letter

Look, my dad died from diseases that obesity contributes to. My mom died from a cancer that can be caused by weight problems. I have enough to be concerned with in my future, I need to get this weight off FOR GOOD.

I can say in my letter that my weight is hormone related even though my TSH has always been "normal".

I can say in my letter whatever I want.

But. At the end of the day. Here's the big thing to take away from ALL of today. My request is very probably going to be denied. Straight from the advocate lady's lips.

So how much more of this do I do?

I mean, yeah - the six month supervised weight loss program is good for two years. So lets say I don't get approved and I can't lose the weight on my own. Well. I'd still have all this done.

BUT. BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT!

Let's think about this.

If I "do this on my own" and get down at ALL, then I will get down below a BMI of 40 pretty quickly. So THAT doesn't give me the history.

Ok. So then I need to gain weight?

Ok. Stay steady?

FOR TWO YEARS?:):drool::)

Sigh.

So how much more of this do I do?

Because at the end of the day - this IS costing me money and we should definitely not be spending it right now.

Because at the end of the day - my insurance IS going to change on Jan 1 and depending on what option we go with, more money may be coming out of pocket pretty soon.

And if I'm going to do all this just to learn "I have to do it myself", well, then why did I part with even a penny?

Not to mention that meanwhile, as I'm waiting for this six month time period to pass I feel like I have to manipulate the weight loss so that not too much is lost. In the past month, with all the changes I DID successfully make I think I would have been down 15 pounds if I'd left well enough alone. But being scared to "lose too much weight", I, on two separate weekends, did some things to gain some of it back.

Why can't I just lose the weight and call it good?

Furthermore - I wanted, desperately wanted to be lifting weights. But I know how my body reacts to lifting weights while increasing protein and I "couldn't take that gamble" since I could conceivably lose too much.

Ok. So why do I want to do this?

Cause I WANT TO KEEP IT OFF!

OK. So maybe these are signs. First the insurance. Now the misinformation I was given. Maybe this is all a sign that either means 1) not now or 2) just do what you know to do....

Sigh....

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