I have a job that is fun and interesting. But it can also include a lot of waiting on computers to get their act together. So I tend to blog and write emails and play games in those times...

This is one such time. And I have been doing this all day long and have read back through some of my blogs and want to update where things are TODAY.

Still not sure what's happening on the insurance front.

From yesterday's blog, I was UP four pounds - after being DOWN four pounds on Sunday. Today I am DOWN three.

The pantry is getting cleaned out slowly but surely. The potato chips are gone and I am glad for that. Still have tortilla chips in there but I am not so worried about them. You see...I LIKE tortilla chips and I do NOT like potato chips. Potato chips are NOT satisfying and yet you always want more. Tortilla chips, on the other hand, do satisfy an urge and they are filling and depending on what you buy, may not be so bad for you, either...

Once upon a time I wrote a blog asking if I was lieing to myself. And here's my answer.

Yes.

And No.

I think the reality is that I DO know how to eat well and healthy and I DO know what proper portion size is. I think that the reality is that somewhere around about two years or so ago I decided somewhere deep in the pea I have for a brain that if I'm going to look like this, I might as well throw what I know out the window. And around about two years ago - I started letting myself, almost making myself, actually, eat those potato chips I actually don't even really like and actually never crave. Does that make sense? No. But it's how I resolved myself to what was happening. If you can't beat it, join it, was the premise.

With the cleaning out of the pantry well underway, things ARE changing. My husband is eating in a way I don't think he ever has before and the weight is quite simply melting off him. Good for him.

If I do what I inherently know - and am discovering I have seriously missed - I should be ok.

An interesting conversation came up with friends last night. One friend is married to a power lifter. He competes and he owns his own gym so he can teach others the differences between power lifting and body building. He's cooky. He lifts TIRES instead of weights. Big ol' huge 750 pound tires - turns them over instead of rolling them along. Anywho. He has a competition in about a week and a half and so is on a no-carb diet for the rest of the time until the competition so that he can beef up as much as possible before hand. Great. Good for him. Except - it is a major undertaking for him to give up those carbs. Ok, so what's wrong with this, you ask? Well. As he sits there and eats all the "bad stuff" (in normal times, not prepping for competitions) he WILL NOT let his kids touch it. And so, of course, that's all they want - is what DAD eats. Mom cooks healthy, lean, good food. And they don't want that - cause DAD doesn't have to eat that. So, that's the background. In this conversation we were talking about the double standard and how that is likely to rear it's ugly head later in their lives.

And I think that's true. And I think I had never really thought of it THAT way before. My mom cooked healthy, lean, good food. It was a very balanced diet. And we did not pack in sugar - wasn't allowed to have regular Kool-Aid, wasn't allowed to have sweetened cereals like Lucky Charms. Wasn't allowed this or that or this or that. And the truth is, I don't like the this or that's that were excluded from my childhood. BUT. My DAD did get that stuff. And he did eat that stuff. And he also died from diabetes and heart disease.

But when I moved out and on my own - I said you know what - Dad ate it, so so can I.

And almost to prove a point, I bought the stuff. And I ate the stuff.

And here I am.

And the irony? The "stuff" doesn't taste good to me. That good, lean, healthy stuff DOES but that "bad stuff" does NOT.

And I'm finding, as I'm making the switch back to what I did for so long - that I AM GLAD AND RELIEVED to be making this switch!

And my husband. He's so cute. I swear by sugarfree Kool-Aid. He thought .

And then I made a pitcher of it.

And he took a sip (cause he'd never had it before and wanted to be sure it really WAS :scared2:). But he LIKED it. :wub:

If he cuts the sugar out - that's huge - cause he DID grow up on the stuff.

I don't know why it matters what you grew up with - I keep saying that - but there is personal choice in that realm, too. That matters as much as anything.

One would think.

Anywho.

I am glad the pantry is getting cleaned out. I am glad my husband is so onboard with this lifestyle change. I am glad I actually do know how to do this and that it's turning out to not be a struggle, even. I am glad I have this time, this six months mandatory supervised weight loss time, to work this all out because I DO think this would be HARD HARD HARD if it was just all cold turkey, all just done, all just over with all with the snap of a finger.

And that's what I know.

As for me and the scale - believe it or not - it just cracks me up. How do you lose four pounds over night and then gain back four pounds the next night and then stay steady for two days and then lose three pounds overnight? I really get on the scale for the humor - so what humorousness will I discover tomorrow?

Sounds like you've got great support at home and a plan for the future. Keep it up! -BG