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10/27/09 Goal Limbo

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Band_Groupie

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I’m coining a new phrase here on LBT. Because I’m going to need it. Soon. How many threads, posts, and blogs have you seen here about LB’ers who are getting close to goal (usually starting about 30 lbs. out from goal, depending on their BMI) and are facing a whole new set of challenges. Their BMI is lower, as is their weight. Although they’re at their Sweet Spot the amount of food they can eat and still lose weight is no longer working for them. The same goes for exercise. Yeah, they’ve hit plateaus before, but that doesn’t even come close to this…it’s much worse…the weight loss stalls and slows down to a painful crawl…a death march even.

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I’m paying more attention to all those ‘30 and Goal’ posts (sounds like a football commentary, doesn’t it?). They feel guilty for complaining or even asking for support here…How can they not feel guilty for even seeking support when they’ve lost a ton of weight and are now in clothes sizes they haven’t seen in years…for some, since grade school? How can they justify needing support when others are struggling just to start losing their weight? After all, they’re so close to goal…and look at all the newbies here just starting their 6 mo. diet…or those that are now in ‘Bandster Hell’ and are just trying so hard to maintain and wait for those fills. What right do they have to complain? They’d look like FOOLS for complaining! They’ve lost a ton of weight…they’re almost at goal…they look better…they feel better…they are so happy with their weight loss…I’m with you…WHAT THE HECK DO THEY HAVE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT? Except…now…I’m almost there…

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These Banders get that. They feel the same way…they feel happy and frustrated at the same time…they’re happy with how far they’ve come, but they’re frustrated with their slow progress getting those last 30 or so pounds off. Should they feel happy or sad? They don’t even know how to feel about it…and it‘s not like the NSV’s are still pouring in to make them feel good as they‘ve now been this weight for awhile. Maybe they even feel a little like a failure and as though they’ve let others or themselves down with their slow weight loss. These Banders feel like they have to apologize for even complaining. Over and over they feel like they had to justify why they had a right to be frustrated at all.

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So how do you go about explaining how horrible it feels being so close to goal and for your weight loss to stall. You lost the bulk of the weight at least somewhat steadily, but now the scale is barely moving and at this rate it might/is taking years to get to goal.

 

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Those people generally get sympathy from others who are in the same position they are, or others that have already been through it (and we know there not as many ‘old-timers’ here…maybe this is why some disappear even?). Don’t we all give great sympathy to those going through ‘Bandster Hell’? It’s because we’ve all been there.

I kept thinking…heck, when I was going through that period after banding and before restriction and I was feeling down and needed support all I had to say was ‘I’m going through Bandster Hell’ and I’d get all kinds of support…‘Oh, I’ve been there too’… ‘This is normal’ … ‘Don’t worry it will end soon’ … ‘Try this…’ Mention just two words ‘Bandster Hell’ and you need not have to explain any further…we get it…we sympathize.

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Here’s the thing…I’ve decided I’ll need an acronym or at least a term for this period in my Band journey. If I can say PB, Slime, Stuck, or Bandster Hell and I don’t need to explain or justify these terms and my being there, then why isn’t there one for this tough, usually longest phase in the Band journey? I looked on several sites and there isn’t one.

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I need a term so that I can talk about this without having to give a lengthy explanation and justification each time…something like ‘Bandster Hell’. I figure the best time to come up with this is even before I start into this phase. I don’t need your support yet for this, because I’m not there yet, but I will be soon. I looked at words and I found one that really struck home…LIMBO, in limbo: a state of uncertainty or of being kept waiting; a state of oblivion or neglect; a condition of uneasiness or aprehension; a state or place of profound anxiety brought on by the unknown; indeterminate state; a condition of unknowable outcome. Well that works.

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So I’m coining a new phrase for myself (and anyone else) here so I won’t have to explain or justify why I need support. I’ll soon be 30 lbs. or less from goal and I’m sure I’ll need to continue getting support here. You’ll read this phase name and you’ll just nod your head and know exactly what I’m talking about and hopefully give me the support I’ll still need (because if your not there yet, you know you soon will be). You’ll understand that I have the right to be frustrated or upset because this phase of the journey brings its own set of challenges and it’s own set of emotional issues. I’ll need the same support you give all of us at any point in this journey. You see, I’m headed into that last phase of Weight Loss…and I may be there a LOOONG time so I’ll need your patience and understanding. I’m headed into ‘Goal Limbo’.

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Hi BG,

I think I know this limbo well. I just entered it in the last couple of weeks and could not put a NAME to it. Great job I like this....

I do not remember Bandster Hall as being that bad for me. I have lost steadily along the LB journey. I am finding it harder to sleep lately. I am not able to eat much at all. I miss eating the way I did. I am mourning the loss of a chow down and having food make me feel good and comfortable. Eating for me these days is a necessity that will keep me alive. I have no pleasure in it and I know the LB rules and know what I need. I am in LIMBO.

I am NOT complaining don't get me wrong I have absolutely nothing to complain about. This journey has been the BEST and I would do it all over in a heart beat.

I am feeling the LIMBO today. So I will just keep on, keepin' on I will go with the flo and eat the meals and do what I have to do. But at least I know where I stand. I feel and hear you Girl Friend, LIMBO loud and clear. I am going to have a GREAT day I hope you do too. I like feeling normal even if I am in LIMBO. Thanks you are the best. imaluckydog too ;-)

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I beleive "limbo" will have a stick and stay power around here! Very good my friend, very good. I am far off from goal yet, but I know you and JayTee are approaching the Limbo zone....heck Jay Tee may already be there! Keep up the good work, you will get support from my end! Let's go bunnies!!!!

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THANK YOU! That is absolutely right! The perfect word and one that will stick. I have been feeling this way for months!!!! It is hard to keep the momentum up and hard to complain when I haven't worn these sizes since jr. high!

It does help to have a word for it!

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Well BG, you've gone and done it! You have read my mind again, one difference is you are much better at understanding me than I am! That is excatly where I am, LIMBO LAND! Yes banster hell is hell, and yes buying new clothes is fun, BUT LIMBO LAND is it's own little hell. 12 pounds seem so small, little, not much more to go.....but from here, it is as long as the beginning of this journey was! Now I measure my weight loss in ounces instead of pounds. That IS it's own little LIMBO HELL! Thank you for understanding! Deanna

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Hey B_G - I wanted to let you know that I posted a link to your blog on the lapbandforum. It is another forum. I am a member there and thought I would turn some fellow bansters on to you Goal Limbo post. ~MyNewLife~ suggested it. She is full of great ideas! LOL

Anyway, I wanted to let you know we are pimping you out. Ha!

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Great post. Just found your blog. I am here.. in Goal Limbo! Been on a plateu for 5 months!! Arghhhhh.. it's so hard to get the scale to move now. 25 pounds from goal!

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What a great post. I love to read everything you write.

When I miss a few I always go back and catch up.

You are doing great. I am not there yet. One day I hope I will be in this limbo state. Keep up the good work

Have a great day, EileenMary

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