We all know what gluttony means.. overindulgence. Punishment inevitably follows in gluttony. But the ride sure can be fun.

For the first time in years, I've been a "glutton in the open." I'm not gonna lie and say I don't eat bad. I've had bad eating habits since I was a teen. Although I am visibly obese, however, like most people dealing with weight problems, I usually hide what I actually eat. I try to portray that a whole bag of chips is way too much for me to eat. That I couldn't possibly drink more than one soda a day.

I'm not the best liar so who knows how much I actually got away with. Either way, I never stuff my face in front of others.. until now.

It's like now that I privately know that I'm gonna have LB at some point (dh knows too actually), I feel like I can just relax, eat whatever, and know that it's going to be taken care of at some point.

I realize that I'll have to lose all this weight I'm putting on now (I'm scared to weigh myself) but even when I was pregnant I didn't have this freedom due to gestational diabetes. I'm very sorry to admit that it feels fantastic in the meantime to be irresponsible.

That being said, I look forward to having control with food in the future. It's weird, right? Who gets excited about getting to overeat?

I seriously need to contact the dr & schedule the psych and nutritionist mtgs. Soon.:huh2: