Some of dh's family has been here and so we have been going to do a bunch of tourist type stuff here in Houston.

Anyhow, I don't know if its been the stress, the fun, the spending, the lounging, but I have been eating with wreckless abandon. Thousands of calories a day for like a week. I'm scared to get on the scale. So I haven't.

Today, as we left the house for another excursion I grabbed my size 22 capris (that are stretched more to a 24 at this point) and they pooched. (pooched= when your jeans zip up but your stomach pushes out so much so that the zipper may go at any moment.)

I have a few larger-than-necessary shirts for working out or sleeping, (cotton size 4x shirts), that I was forced to dig into to wear tonight. I didn't have time to break down standing in my closet and admit that 95% of it isn't gonna fit. I know now without stepping on the scale that I am at my all time high weight, probably over 280.. in other words, more than when I was the day I went into the hospital to have my dd a couple years ago.

I scanned through the digital camera and saw further evidence. I was shocked to see how huge I have become in photographs. The shape of my face stretched out- my neck is starting to disappear.

(I'll post a couple of the pics on here when I have the chance because there's absolutely no way I'm posting them anywhere else.)

Ahmmmmmm......

Please let surgery happen soon.

I think I might go do the the nutritionist mtg & psych eval anyway. Dh doesn't want me getting my hopes up for it to happen anytime soon. I get irate in my head when he says that. Feels like he's telling me no and since I've already got a father I don't want my dh telling me no. (Can you tell I'm still throwing an internal tantrum?)

Sounds ridiculous even when I type it. Somethings gotta happen soon or 'oh my' I'll have nothing to wear out of my house!