Thursday night last week I went to the seminar. I don't know that it would have ever been required of me but I'm so glad I went. My husband went with me. And we both learned a lot. A lot almost seems like an understatement. And what's weird, was I already knew a lot - but it makes a difference hearing it from the surgeon. It makes a difference being able to ask questions of someone QUALIFIED to answer the questions.

My husband learned a lot, too. And my husband and I both learned that he is on the border of being eligible for this himself.

He thinks he can lose the weight on his own - by following the "diet" I am doing and continuing with his exercise program that he likes. I think there is potential for his yo-yo'ing to continue, though. I also think if we were doing this together, at the same time, on the same page - that would make it "easier". If we both had to do the liquid diet at the same time, for example, t'would be "easier" than if I do it and then six months later, he does it. If we both do the six month supervised weight loss together, t'would be easier, than if I do it and then he starts his program.

He is like me - I KNOW he can lose the weight. But he's gained it back before, like me, multiple times.

There is no easy answer for this, that's for sure.

I surely can't push or cajol or try to convince him. He needs to decide on this for himself and no matter what he decides, I am and will always be by his side - just like he is for me. And no matter what, I know he is just as in this as I am.

We had a long conversation this morning and some last night about cleaning out our pantry, about changing our approach to grocery shopping, about setting a menu on a Sunday, for example, doing our grocery shopping accordingly, and what we will no longer buy. Before I met my husband I was not an impulse buyer. I was also not in the shape I am currently, either. :tt2: After I met my husband, I was able (as we wifes do) to retrain some habits - mostly not buying the little debbie crap and things like that. But he retrained me, too (as husbands do) and I now keep chips on hand, whereas the single me would not have. I now keep a second freezer full of meat and a second refrigerator full of sodas. We now both completey agree with each other that we quite simply CANNOT DO THAT!

I grew up eating well, cooking well, exercising frequently (some might say too much), and generally active even when not exercising. From the age of four through high school I was on a swim team and I was good. I still am. I had to be on two sports teams all the time and the second thing bounced around from soccer to basketball to volleyball. Around junior high I switched to drill team and chearleading as my second thing. Around high school I was just doing swimming and drill and in my spare time I was in the choir and drum line.

My mom ALWAYS steamed our vegetables - they were not soaked in broth and bacon fat or cheese or anything else. My mom always baked our fish and chicken - it was never fried and very rarely was it poached. We ate very small servings of carbs, if at all. We did not keep sodas in the house - we drank sugar free cool aid. I didn't eat my first dorito until I was 8 years old - and while it was good, I didn't care about them.

And then I went in the Navy. Who in the world goes in the military to see their activity level DECREASE? Their food quality go bad? Their portions go up?

The Navy is aware, though, that they have a problem. They were aware then and they were trying to fix it. But suffice it to say, in the Navy - I gained weight. In the Navy, in BOOT CAMP of all places, I lost a LOT of muscle tone which was my first step in the wrong direction.

Anywho.

I know how to do this. That's the story there. I have spent more of my life living healthy than not. However, add in some hormone complications of my late 20's and here I am...unable to lose it AND keep it off. And sadly, it, in the last year or so, has gotten to the point where I think, apparently, that if I'm going to look like this, I might as well eat what I want. And that's the part that's changing NOW!

So Friday, I went to my first "weight loss appointment". I met the Nurse Practitioner in the new place - the practitioner that will be following me for my six months of supervised weight loss and exercise. I like her. Friendly. Non-judgemental. And straight forward.

And she said - you already know what to do. So do it. And I'll see you in a month.

She didn't sit there and preach to me about the importance of portion control. About the importance of balanced meals. About the importance of not drinking sodas. About the importance of exercise. She said "YOU ALREADY KNOW".

And she's right. We ALL do.

I read on here somewhere last week "If you want to know how to lose weight - ask a fat person" and that is so true. We KNOW how to lose it. We can't keep it OFF!

I told a "friend" that Saturday night - a skinny girl who eats FIVE, yes FIVE pieces of PIE in one night and doesn't gain an inch and yet is always trying to lose weight - and she scoffed at me like :thumbup:. So I asked her - knowing she is ALWAYS wanting to lose weight - do YOUR "diets" work? No. See. Mine DO. I just can't KEEP it off. And hopefully this is the tool to help me be able to.

Her answer. "Whatever". She seems to think that human beings cannot live on restricted calories. Since she can't (and doesn't need to) therefore no one should/could.

Anyway...

Friday was good. I was happy to be getting everything OFFICIALLY started. I go back on Nov 5 for the next check in. Now time seems to have slowed down.

In the meantime - I should be able to pick up the letter of medical necessity from my PCP this week. Since my OB/GYN is someone with ongoing care, I should get a letter from him, too. I see him later this month. I need to also see a cardiologist since I have had issues with heart palpitations in the past. I see him later this month, as well. Finally, I've started trying to get into do my psych consult as well - although that's not been easy. I got a list of In-Network Providers from my insurance company and when I attempted to call SIX different practices on Friday, they were ALL closed for the day! Seriously. Not ONE mental health practitioner in my area works on Friday? Really? Whatever. My goal is to be able to turn in as much as possible when I go back on Nov 5th.

This weekend was strangely emotional to me, though. Friday I was excited, happy, and certain. Saturday morning as I was waking up I was vaguely depressed. I just kept thinking in the back of my pea brain - no more bread EVER? But by the time I was fully awake I was back to my normal opinion - whatever. I am not a bread-aholic...

Saturday night, had friends over for dinner - and skinny minny stood there in my family room judging me. I've had issues with her judgements already and am now of the opinion that she is just not ever going to understand.

Sunday I had the vaguely depressed notions coming up again as I realized - no 'this', no 'that'. How to juggle this and that. Can I really not just do this on my own? That skinny minny got to me.

Finally got to talk to my hubbie last night and he thinks that I CAN do this on my own - but thinks that this might also be a fail safe that would be worth it in the long run. He thinks that I should nevermind that skinny minny and chalk this up to experience. He thinks that no matter what, I should do this six month thing and then make a better informed decision then.

So I woke up this morning thinking - we need to change how we grocery shop. We need to change our pantry. We need to change our refrigerators. And I need to go back to what my mom taught me, what I was raised with, what I know. And my hubbie is along for the ride. He's such a great man!

Maybe you could talk DH into going along for the whole six month ride with you and then he can decide also (he's got nothing to lose but weight and he's planning to do that anyway, right?)? If not, at least you've got his support and you'll be a great example to him if he decides later to do it.

I think being yo-yoers can make us even more successful at this; like you said, we already know how to be committed to WL. You're going to do great! May these next 6 months go quickly for you! -BG

That is a great idea. I will suggest that this evening, in fact. The one hard part here is he is just under the 40 BMI line. And he has no comorbidities. Our insurance plan requires two - I suspect he does have sleep apnea, but other than that, he doesn't have the other required. So at this point, he'd have to actually gain some weight to start the program. And I'm figuring that would put him about a month off of me.

Nonetheless...tis quite worth suggesting!

Hmmm...I've seen several couples on here that did so well and it was great for them to go through this together.

I'm assuming he would need to stay above the 40 BMI for the entire 6 mo. as that's what most insurance require (for a chuckle and advice on that read here on LBT

11/10/08 I peed my pants! - LAP-BAND®). 2 comorbidites might just happen if you already suspect sleep apnea (I'm sure you know he should be checked for this regardless...I had a neighbor who died of this). Many people here don't realize they have the start of diabetes or bad cholesterol until they get their bloodwork done (or hypertension like me).

I get that it might be hard to have him 'not' lose weight while you're trying to lose...if you're allowed to (keep in mind most docs/insurance expect you NOT to be able to lose much during the 6 months). He'll do what's right for him and it's something you really have to be ready for...so in his own time, right. Sorry, I'm babbling now, just trying to think through the options with you. Good luck on your journey. -BG