Pre-Op Anxiety
If I make it through the next 48 hours without hurling, it will be a miracle! haha. My surgery is the day after tomorrow. I thought I wouldn't be nervous but MY OH MY...woke up this morning with my chest in my throat. hehe. Nervous, excited, scared to death....all at once.
It's important to understand how I REALLY came to the decision of having lap band surgery. Ya see, my daughter (who is 10-years-old) has a very rare metabolic disorder that literally damages every organ in her body. She takes 10 medications every six hours, along with eye drops (to prevent blindness) every waking hour. Since her father & I separated in 2005, 95% of her care has rested solely on my shoulders. About 4 months ago, her nurse called to inform me that her kidney function has dropped to 40% - when it gets to 20%, we will start donor matching and testing for kidney transplant. The nurse also informed me that even if I was a perfect match, they would be hesitant to take my kidney since I am morbidly obese and have high cholesterol, sleep apnea, etc.
So that's how I came to this decision. A friend had mentioned lap band to me and I knew this wasn't something I could do alone. I have got to be healthy...whether its to give my Emily a kidney or its simply to take care of her.... failure is not an option at this point.
Back to being nervous though... what if I DO fail??? How embarassing would that be!!!
I need to do my preop photos and measurements...but I hate to even see that visual image. :thumbdown: For so long now, I've hid behind big clothes... cropped fat rolls outta pictures ... and lived in denial about my weight. Reality is hitting home now! How did I let myself go so much !?!?
I've babbled enough. Yall keep your fingers crossed for me. Within 10 hours of having my surgery, I will be fixing dinner for my kids & helping them with homework. I hope I haven't bit off more than I can chew. :ohmy:
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