I finally admitted to myself that I need to take a drastic measure...dieting, pills, exercising, even...vomiting, restricting eating...does not work for me. :faint:

I am not sure how I have managed this...but I have been lying to myself about my health, my weight, my looks. I would think to myself...it isnt that bad...but I knew deep down what was really going on... I need help. I need help to overcome my weight physically and emotionally.

I have seen the commercials for lapband, even talked to a few friends about it, and sigh* even have had a coworker suggest it for me...

I am teacher and so I have the summer off...the summer off to better myself? exercise? Or sit around and think...mostly negative thoughts and then one day I had a good though, why dont I call up L.A. weightloss? Yeah...that didnt work for me either...I did give it an honest try, but to no avail. :phanvan

I am scared. I am scared of my negative thoughts, of failing, of people not being supportive, of surgery, of failing...

I need to make a change, I need to be healthy, and happier.

And so I began my weightloss journy through surgery a few weeks ago. I signed up to receive a packet of info. about WLS, specifically the lapband, and then entered all of my "patient" info. on their internet database. Some of the questions they wanted answers too...such as why do you eat? have you been in an abusive relationship? what are you worried about? are too difficult to answer in a text box. I strugged through it, even shed a few tears, but I made it. I have now signed up for the mandatory seminar about the lapband that is given by the surgeon, and will begin to make the numerous appointments with the numerous specialists.

I hope that me detailing my journey helps those who read it as much as you all here have helped me, without even knowing me...Thank you.

Thanks for sharing your journal - continue to log in and write - it helps - I am not banded at this time but I am losing weight with the encouragement of many friends who are banded and those who are not - they are wonderful here! Welcome! You are making a wonderful decision - be patient - hang in there - shed the tears - they are part of what keeps us from focusing on what we want -- and smile every day! Each day is one day closer to a happier you!