let me preface this blog by saying that up until 4 months ago i was ms. lapband usa. i swear, i was. i worked out 4-5x a week--like REALLY worked out, i ate right and i judged others when they fell off the lapband wagon. I mean i didn't really know it then...it wasn't conscience, but thinking back i think i thought i would NEVER do it again--you know, eat like whoa and pretend the weight was going on my abnormally thin friend instead of my a$$.

August 31st...4 months of denial...17lbs higher than my lowest weight of 205. Now granted i was only that weight for like 3 days, but still.

So here i am armed with excuses: just found out in the last few months my grandma is termally ill, work is really bad at the moment, and was stressed with thinking my husband and i couldn't have a baby because he's on a certain medication.

See the thing is...most people would say "omg that's totally understandable..." etc etc etc until i gained back all the weight i lost.

So here i am, looking at what i've done and realizing that i am not ms. perfect lapband. and honestly, that's ok. it's got to be ok. otherwise i'll eat some chocolate crying about my failure.

Today, i'm being accountable...and i'm also realizing that i'm human. I will not be perfect in this journey, but i will be honest with myself and accountable. 17lbs up. let's see how many i can get back down.

this is day one of my 'omg it's me that's getting fat, not her' diet launch. wish me luck. :smile2:

I appreciate the honest and open post. That could not have been easy for you. I think people really need to see that the band is a journey and not a magically solution.

Before I got the band I use to think, well....I don't really have a problem with food. I can lose all this and just tough it out. But after the band life is different and things come up that I did not know about myself. I am a little over 3 months post-op. I have followed the rules to a perfect "T". I have lost 60lbs as of today. But I fear that one day a demon will pop up that I am not ready to deal with. That's the day the true test will come into play. The holiday's scare me a bit since I do the cooking....I can see that monster rearing it's ugly head.

I thank you, thank you, thank you, for your post and I wish you much joy and love in your life!