8/10/09

Day four. Somebody shoot me. this f’ing sucks. I’m having less than 500 calories a day with 95% of them being liquid. It should be 100% liquid but I can not tolerate the powdered protein they want me to be consuming every day. I’ve tried every imaginable form of it out there. It all tastes like crap. It’s all thick. Really I’m not being a baby about this. I’m the girl who can’t drink milk because it’s yucky. If I force myself to drink it, it’s just going to come back up. I can hardly eat jello because the texture makes me gag. So I’m started to supplement my liquid diet with a daily single serving of tuna. 60 calories, no carbs & 12 grams of protein. cheater I know. go back thru my blog I don’t think it’s any surprise that I’m a cheater.

So any way let’s add to it. let’s pour salt in my wound (I hate the word wound). I had to start using my bypap machine Friday night. In order for insurance to cover it they have to see that I’m using it 4 hours a night. Really? instead of helping me sleep better this thing just ensures that I don’t sleep through the night. It’s uncomfortable. It’s noisy. It smells funny. I feel like a dumb a. so I’m not sleeping well and I’m tired because I’m consuming minimal protein. I’m having a WTF was I thinking moment today. Really? all of this for what? To be healthier and get into a size 10 jean. Maybe an 8. Really? please God promise me this will all be worth it down the road because today it isn’t.

8/12/09

Day six

I could not get out of bed this morning. I slept like crap thanks to that stupid stupid bipap machine. Really? I have to add that to my already stupid restrictive life. Now I’m not even allowed to sleep? Anyway, so I call into work. Told them I felt awful which was the under statement of the year. I think the lack of protein finally hit me. I felt like I was moving my body through water. My limbs were heavy. I was sluggish. And my head was foggy. Gosh it’s great to be me. So I slept in a little then got as far as my desk. In my pj’s, unshowered I spent the next 3.5 hours working on photos. That wasn’t so taxing. I told the kids to pretend like I wasn’t home. Sha was there. I just shut my door. I felt good about what I got done. I played some tutorial videos as I worked and actually learned a thing or two. I had to rush through the shower to get out the door in time to get to the hospital by 1:45 for my pre admission testing. On the way I gave Dad a call to get an update on him. He talked all the way from Reinbeck to Cedar Falls and then some. At this point I was crabby. I was so tired. I was dizzy. A couple times I thought this must be what it feels like before you pass out. So I sit thru the pat’ing. She’s telling me to do this and don’t do that and I’m just sitting there staring at her. I know I’m not smiling, I don’t think I had the energy to smile. I told her at one point I needed to write some of what she was telling me down or would never remember it. I told her the liquid diet had wicked away my memory and my personality. Sad but true. Once I’d signed off that I was aware of all the bad things that could happen from the procedure they walked me down to the lab for yet more lab work. Why is it a little tiny needle in the crook of my arm hurts so much more than the thousands upon thousands of jabs that I take while sitting for Juno? Finally I’m allowed to go to my appointment with Dr. hodges which requires me to drive around to the other office. Yeah well first I have to remember where I parked my car. I go outside and I hit the lock button so that the horn can lead me to it. Except when I hear the horn I seriously can not tell what direction the sound came from. It’s like a freaking fun house! finally after walking around for a minute or so (it’s not a big parking lot) I find my car. Thank goodness!

The liquid diet sucks! No doubt about it. I was like you it killed my memory!

One thing about this surgery is that you can cheat, you can eat around the band. But you also cheat YOURSELF!

It's a HUGE commitment to have the band, it's not easy that's for sure. I'm four weeks out and I can tell you that there have been times that I have wanted to just go take a bite out of a poor unsuspecting cow out in the field because I was SO hungry. Until the band starts working you're on your own and it's hard to stay on the diet they give you to follow... So...Just be prepared.

Good luck I hope that things get better for you.

Im about 2 months from being banded i worry about my protein intake and the fact that i cant tolerate MILK yuck!!!. I can eat pudding, milkshake, ice cream. Please stay focus because i find strength in your post and laughter. Just remember this time next year you will be FIERCE

THE PROTEIN IS NOT SO BAD, TRY THE WHEY VANILLA PROTEIN FROM WALMART. THE LACTAID FREE MILK, WITH VANILLA EXTRACT. SOMETIMES I USE THE V8 SPLASH WITH IT THIS HAS 1/2 VEG, AND FRUIT PER SERVING. THE TRICK TO PROTEIN DRINKS IS A BLENDER AND CRUCHED ICE FROM SONIC. HOPES THIS HELP.