Closer
This past Monday I went in for my much anticipated visit with the doctor and nutrionist. It was my first time back in over a month and I was excited, curious and nervous all at the same time. I was excited because I knew this was another step closer to where I eventually want to be, curious about my test results and nervous about getting on the scale because I knew I had gained weight. Well, my appt definitely took me closer because by the time I left I had my psych appt scheduled (8/20), my appt following the sleep study moved up 2 weeks and in between appts to return to the doctor. More or less I have an appt every week between now and the end of Sept and if everything goes well, I may be looking at an Oct date.
My test results came back well. I was told that my ultrasound and upper GI was normal and my blood tests were excellent. My blood clot scare last year had me wondering about how my tests would come out since this is always a worry for me now, but it gave me a chance to dicuss this further and I will see the doctor that will insert the filter to avoid clots prior to surgery on my next appt at the hospital.
My fear about the weight gain rang true. I knew it from the way I was feeling. My back has been aching and I feel sluggish. My back aches at a 5 lb weight gain, so I knew I had at least gained that..but I was shocked to learn it was in fact 11 lbs. :wink: I was told it was probably fluid. Yeah..Grey Goose I explained. The numerous happy hours my co workers and I had attended since my last visit had caught up with me. The nutrionist and doctor both encouragingly told me not to worried since "thats what I am there for". I later had to laugh since it was the first time I wasn't scolded by a health care professional for gaining weight. The surgeon on the other hand, came to see me with a couple of students, wasnt as dismissive reminding me of the high calorie content of alcohol and how important calories will be when I get lap band since my body will not reject the sugar automatically like gastric. I knew he was right and could only sit there like a scolded kid nodding in agreement.
I needed that kick in the ass. It brought the importance of this surgery and saving my life back to the forefront of my mind. I had lost focus having so much time in between appointments and simply slipped back into bad habits. I had to get back on the horse. As I explained to the nutrionist, I KNOW what to do, its DOING it. I am a professional dieter. I know it all..I have read it all. I am just a very unsuccessful dieter. She listened but I could see she wasnt buying it, she gave me my food journal for the week and told me to fax it on Friday. She told me her appt is last and usually a couple of weeks before my date to avoid wasting money if not approved. She said she had flexible hours so I said, cool lets meet for drinks. I quickly followed with..IM JOKING! and she actually laughed, then added, sure we will meet for breakfast and have carnation instant breakfast drinks! She was so quick I had to join her in laughing. :eek: She later repeated it to the surgeon who also got a laugh. Putting that imprint on her mind, also puts her in the forefront of mine. I know I have to make more of an effort to do the right thing because it is truly now or never.
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