Quite a bit has happened since my last post and I have been mentally exhausted making it difficult to think about anything but how much my job is stressing me out. Enough about that...

Well last Sunday I talked to my husband about the surgery. I told him I was having the surgery and would like his support. He told me no and I shrugged advising him it would not change my mind. I proceeded to tell him how this was something I had to do for myself and how it was unlike the gastric bypass my coworker had (he thinks she looks horrible) and he pretty told me I couldnt sell him on it. I told him I wasnt trying to and explained how it would give me a better quality of life. Blah Blah Blah Blah. :thumbup:

Once Mr. Wilson makes up his mind about something, there is no changing it. He has to come around on his own after he SEES himself disproved. I know this about my husband. He has always been this way which is why I told him it would be nice to have his support, but my mind is made up. He even told me to let him know when I was going to do it so he could have "the papers" (meaning divorce) for me to sign. I totally ignored him, knowing it was the only "weapon" he thought he could use. But I didnt care and figured it became truly THAT serious for him, then I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Besides I know my husband and despite what he may see as "defiance" he loves me and will not refuse to help me when the time comes. For a moment I could see him pondering more over my stance than my words. He seemed to want to get angry, but he couldnt because I had a calm but determined attitude.

As the hours and days passed since our conversation last Sunday afternoon I noticed something different about Mr. Wilson. It was as if a lightbulb went off in his head and he began to show me affection in ways that were very touching. Light kisses as I slept. Smiles and compliments were more frequent and I began to wonder...Did Mr. Wilson have a sudden epiphany of sorts remembering how I looked when we first me 8 years and 30+ lbs ago? Did he began to imagine the image I have been seeing in my dreams for years of myself as a stronger, healthier, happier more confident woman? I am not sure what happened, but it was obvious something clicked. :cursing: So for now..it is what it is.

By Thursday, my routine had returned and I struggled through my work week looking forward to Friday. When I began to create the weekly schedule for my office, I noticed one of my assistants was off the day I was scheduled to see the surgeon again (8/17) so I called the office to see if I could possibly have my appointment pushed up hoping someone cancelled. I felt a little discourage when I had to leave a message but lo and behold, I got a call back an hour later from the very helpful and excited office manager that was glad I had called in. She had been on vacation when I had my last visit so my appointment was scheduled in error. She advised that I actually was scheduled to come in last week. (it would have been nice if someone would have called me) I told her I was not aware of this appt and she apologized asking if I could come in on Monday. I told her yes, advising I was looking forward to it because the winds had been let out of my sails waiting all this time. I also told her about my sleep study being scheduled later this month with a possible 2nd one early next month, but the appointment to discuss the results were not until the first week of October. She said she would try to get it changed for me realizing that I wanted to get the surgery "yesterday" which I agreed with a chuckle. She told me she would schedule me for the psych appointment on Monday when I came in, also taking me closer to the end of the processes. If all goes well, I hope to have everything done by the end of October so it can go to my insurance company for approval and I can prayerfully get a date. I felt my excitement return :cursing: and it put me back on cloud 9.

Only problem is, I know I have gained weight. I am not sure how much, but I know its most if not all of the 8 lbs I had lost. I have been doing happy hour more often with other stressful workers filling my body on a Grey Goose laden pink lemonade cocktail I enjoy always with a side of buffalo wings. I feel like crap. My back aches from the slight gain and my clothes are tighter. In fact a favorite pair of jeans I purchased a size smaller (it was the last pair and they were on sale) that I was fitting well, can not be zipped.:eek: Yeah guess who feels crappy about that?!

One of my assistants is prepping for gastric and she just finally finished the last of her testing yesterday. We promised we would try to set our dates where they wont collide, especially since her surgery is going to require more recovery time. It looks like that is going to be impossible at this point and she will probably get to go in first. I cant worry about it or her because I still have a very long way to go and alot more work to do, but my level of excitement has come back and I am looking forward to Monday so I can find out the result of my tests and prepare for the next phase.

Please keep me in prayer.

Best of luck to you!

Mr. Wilson will be just fine and because you stood firm yet gentle, it kinda made it hard for him to be a hard butt. (smile) Might have lit his lightbulbs too!

I wish you much love and happiness

My husband came around after he was better informed. My guy was sorta the same way. Long story short. I was banded June 29 lost almost fifty pounds and husband is very excited. We even went for a bike ride this morning. Best wishes and good luck all will work out. imaluckydog

Thank you all for your kind and encouraging words. Mr. Wilson in his own little awkward way yesterday again told me why he didnt think it was a good idea and even offered a solution. He said he would become my personal trainer for a year! It was sweet...but I have not budged from my desire to have surgery. I will blog more on this later.