I haven't blogged in a bit. Been pretty discouraged by the whole pre-surgery process because I just feel like the weight isn't coming off. This is even with working out for an hour or more every day and staying on the meal plan and taking Phentermine. It's a horribly frustrating experience and reminds me why I need this surgery. If I could do this on my own without this tool I would. I'm still convinced I've got a thyroid issue even though all my doctors tell me I don't. I will wait until after my surgery date is set to but my PCP to start me on me medication or send me to a specialist for this. But I don't see how you could not think I've got a thyroid issue when I have all the sx of one.

Anyway. This morning I realized that in 31 hours I will be meeting with my surgeon. The immediate emotional response is to eat nothing today and just fast so that I can lose as much extra weight as possible but then I realized that I get sick when I try to do that, it's why anorexia never worked for me. I've been faithful and careful and diligent about what goes in my mouth, been going to gym most days. Sometimes I get really tired and my heart just isn't in it but those are the days when I need to go the most. I just feel discouraged so much when the scale shows no weight loss. I feel like I'm working so hard for nothing and this is usually the point when I give up. So hopefully I can keep this going.

I know that God wants me to be healthy and I know that he gave us doctors who could come up with surgeries like this to help people like me. I do take responsibility for being obese and I know that I didn't get this way by eating pounds of veggies but I also know that my body is wired with horrible awful metabolism that makes it very difficult for me to lose weight even when all the right things are being done. God's timing is perfect and I know that I'm ready for this surgery. I am praying that my appt goes well tomorrow because I truly want to get this done and over with as soon as possible.

I'm greatful that I have such a great support system and so many people have been positive about this with me. The ones who don't understand are the outsiders but even my knitting group ladies who I just barely met are supportive of me having this done. I'm having lunch with my sister today, just the two of us, no children. I'm looking forward to talking to her without being interrupted every 5 seconds. It will be a good way to spend my day off.

Well here's to me finally getting to my surgery appt. Let's hope they have a surgery date next week!:cursing: