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Is this IT? And so the Merry-go-round begins again!

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BioTeacher

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I got back on track today. Ate out at both lunch and dinner but did good and ate good snacks. Walked after dinner too. I wanted to go do my weights after a week off due to vacations but just did not feel the motivation! What GOOD did it do? I tried for 8 weeks and I am still as fat or fatter than I was then. So WHY do it? I will try to go tomorrow or even Sunday. For sure on Monday anyway. Then school is starting and I am not feeling very confident that I can keep it up at all. No time for me! :mad:I am just about to start eating a shake in the morning, then tuna and green beans for the other two meals of the day with maybe some yogurt for snacks. This sounds dull to me but surely I can lose just eating that. I will probably gag up the tuna but I am just about to give up here! I gotta get this going, I just gotta!!!!!! I am desperate to get the scale moving again! I just returned from almost two weeks on vacation and did OK but not so well. Too much fat in the things I ate. The pictures of me were absolutely AWFUL. They make me sick to see them. I just feel like I have made no progress here. For the past 8 Weeks I have worked out with weights 2-3 times a week and done 30-50 minutes of fast walking almost EVERY DAY! And I am no better off right now than I was 8 weeks ago when school started! I have lost nothing and maybe gained. I am afraid to get on the scale and come this Monday morning I will be getting on there at the doc's office. And then get yelled at. At least I know WHAT I did wrong this time. WHY I cannot get this loss going again I just cannot figure it out. I have invested in some Weight Watchers chocolate fudge bars. They are so good, one point, and even my family loves them. Try them if you have not--they are truly good fudgies. Just get the plain chocolate fudge ones for a treat. I can hardly keep up with the number of papers and planning that I had--I never got more than 6 hours of sleep and had trouble exercising much less eating right. I just ate and was so tired. I was just beat after fixing dinner, cleaning it up, grading papers, then bed at about midnight and up at 6am. By Friday I was DEAD! Now it is going to be WORSE!!! Every year I hope to stop it but once the merry-go -round starts I am lucky to hang on. And MY health and what I need will not get done. Much less to even LOSE any weight. ha ha....I am so fearful. I do not weigh enough for any other kind of surgery but I sure weigh enough to look and feel BAD and FAT. I may have to face that this is IT! It makes me so sad. I know I would have more energy and feel better too if I could get more off. But I was unable to make a DENT in it this summer with all the charting and exercising. I cannot do it when school starts. Not sure what to do. The weight just stays right on my front belly. I KNOW I need to put myself up there at the top of the list but you have NO idea how that just does not happen. So much planning with so many kids now. Parents. I have an extracurricular that takes lots of time. Then I have to cook meals for the family, clean up, then if I do not do papers every day then all day Sunday is taken. It takes all my energy just to keep up with my job. I have examined and examined what to do and nothing is jumping out at me. I just feel overwhelmed and it has not even started yet. Can someone just make meals an send them to me ??:thumbup: Am feeling stressed and it has not even started yet. I am feeling real anxiety over the fact that I will not take care of myself. Yikes. Help, help, help. :biggrin:

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I got back on track today. Ate out at both lunch and dinner but did good and ate good snacks. Walked after dinner too. I wanted to go do my weights after a week off due to vacations but just did not feel the motivation! What GOOD did it do? I tried for 8 weeks and I am still as fat or fatter than I was then. So WHY do it? I will try to go tomorrow or even Sunday. For sure on Monday anyway. Then school is starting and I am not feeling very confident that I can keep it up at all. No time for me! :mad:I am just about to start eating a shake in the morning, then tuna and green beans for the other two meals of the day with maybe some yogurt for snacks. This sounds dull to me but surely I can lose just eating that. I will probably gag up the tuna but I am just about to give up here! I gotta get this going, I just gotta!!!!!! I am desperate to get the scale moving again! I just returned from almost two weeks on vacation and did OK but not so well. Too much fat in the things I ate. The pictures of me were absolutely AWFUL. They make me sick to see them. I just feel like I have made no progress here. For the past 8 Weeks I have worked out with weights 2-3 times a week and done 30-50 minutes of fast walking almost EVERY DAY! And I am no better off right now than I was 8 weeks ago when school started! I have lost nothing and maybe gained. I am afraid to get on the scale and come this Monday morning I will be getting on there at the doc's office. And then get yelled at. At least I know WHAT I did wrong this time. WHY I cannot get this loss going again I just cannot figure it out. I have invested in some Weight Watchers chocolate fudge bars. They are so good, one point, and even my family loves them. Try them if you have not--they are truly good fudgies. Just get the plain chocolate fudge ones for a treat. I can hardly keep up with the number of papers and planning that I had--I never got more than 6 hours of sleep and had trouble exercising much less eating right. I just ate and was so tired. I was just beat after fixing dinner, cleaning it up, grading papers, then bed at about midnight and up at 6am. By Friday I was DEAD! Now it is going to be WORSE!!! Every year I hope to stop it but once the merry-go -round starts I am lucky to hang on. And MY health and what I need will not get done. Much less to even LOSE any weight. ha ha....I am so fearful. I do not weigh enough for any other kind of surgery but I sure weigh enough to look and feel BAD and FAT. I may have to face that this is IT! It makes me so sad. I know I would have more energy and feel better too if I could get more off. But I was unable to make a DENT in it this summer with all the charting and exercising. I cannot do it when school starts. Not sure what to do. The weight just stays right on my front belly. I KNOW I need to put myself up there at the top of the list but you have NO idea how that just does not happen. So much planning with so many kids now. Parents. I have an extracurricular that takes lots of time. Then I have to cook meals for the family, clean up, then if I do not do papers every day then all day Sunday is taken. It takes all my energy just to keep up with my job. I have examined and examined what to do and nothing is jumping out at me. I just feel overwhelmed and it has not even started yet. Can someone just make meals an send them to me ??:thumbup: Am feeling stressed and it has not even started yet. I am feeling real anxiety over the fact that I will not take care of myself. Yikes. Help, help, help. :sneaky:

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One question first, when was the last time you saw your Surgeon for a fill? You should probably check in with him and see if he can help you.

Next, Please don't take this the wrong way as it's meant only to help you...I've read several of your blogs and there is a reoccurring theme in them all and that is what I call "negative Nelly syndrome". Your blog is laden with I can'ts and it's not gonna work anyway so why try.

When we think it we can achieve it! If we think we can't we won't. I really think that the best place for you to start getting back on this journey (mind you I haven't been on it that long so you can take this advice or leave it) is to think back to why you wanted to have this done, then check your attitude...Is your attitude conducive to achieving or failing? Do you want this or are you satisfied with making excuses as to why this won't work. PS...The why this won't work is what got us to the point we had to look toward surgery.

You're a teacher, use that to your advantage, schedule yourself time to exercise and eat right in your lesson plan.

Don't give up you can do this. I know it's not easy, I'm in bandster hell right now and could take a chunk out of a cow. I have faith in you even though I don't know you. I have faith because you wouldn't be asking for help at the end of your posts if you didn't want to do this.

So to wrap this up...ditch negative Nelly and find Positive Polly! You CAN do this!!!!!!

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Thanks for the thoughts bashful. I can see that I am feeling negative. The no weight loss thing has really got a big hold on me. I haven't lost anything since last November 08 and I have just tried all I can think of. And school is just so tiring. I think maybe I am just a bit depressed really. I go to doc on this coming Monday. I already have 7ml in my 9ml band. I think they do not want to put any more in there at all. I used to fret about that but I don't anymore. Whatever. As far as the scheduling, I will try. Things just go at you at school so fast and so many things need done at once that I have a hard time keeping up. And I tend to take care of school stuff always first, then family, then if any time left for me. There isn't much left and so I am so tired I eat poorly. I always try to go into it thinking I am not going to do that, etc. It seems that never happens. At my doc we have a counselor we can see. Maybe I will ask to see her Monday. I guess I just know my capabilities and I am fearing the worst. I have always thought I was a more positive person but maybe I have slipped to the dark side! I know the blog helps me get it OUT. Just wish I could find some path that I could follow to help me start losing again. I have tried so many. At 13 months and none for quite awhile you wonder if you can do any more.... well, again, thanks and I will try to tie on some happy!

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I used a diet plan and lost about 40 pounds in two months and it was great. I loved it so much that I became a health coach. I had a really bad breakup and stopped using it but plan on going back to using it when I can eat real food again because I love the bars. It's really simple to do and it works great. With the band I hope that I can keep the weight I lose with it off for good. If you want more information just click on the link I am posting. Take Shape For Life - The Breakthrough Approach to Fast Weight Loss and Long-Term Health Even if you chose not to use this plan I would be happy to try and keep you motivated any way that I know how. I really want to see you succeed. Your stories touch me in a deep way because I know the frustrations.

Feel free to PM me.

Stacy

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