Sometimes Validation Sneaks up on Ya

Current mood:grab-ass-y

Category: Blogging

Wow. Now that I look back, it's been about 6 weeks since my last blog. Damn you, Information Techs (sorry MB) and administrators, for blocking access to my beloved MySpace at work. Because I'm not generally a fan of lengthy exposition (if a movie has to result to exposition to explain the plot, you are sooooooooo screwed. "Star Wars" is the only exception to the rule), I'll just briefly explain that I was unexpectedly given a night off last night. Hence this blog.

Last WeekEnd, we packed up the kids and went to "Six Flags" (which shall henceforth be notated as "6F") with my sister and her 2 boys. We do this in October because:

1) - The temperature in October is much more conducive to 6F than any of the summer months. It's the difference between mildly over-warm @ the peak of the day, and sitting nude on the floor in Hell's boiler-room.

2) - It's usually less crowded than in the summer. Although Cissy & Ryan had a 1.25 Hour wait to ride "The Titan", all the other rides were boarded in less than 45 minutes (.75 Hour, if you prefer to be dazzled by my math).

3) - Because it's Ivey's birthday month, we consider this excursion his birthday party. At least I don't have to go to Chuck E. Cheese, or take a bunch of stranger's kids to a movie and pretend to like them, or anything of that nature.

4) - In October, 6F does the park up in Halloween themes. And I do so love Halloween.

Since 6F does a Halloween theme, one of the first things Phoebe (my little, and younger, sister) and I do is to purchase passes to the 4 separate "haunted houses". They were generally pretty good.......Lots of spooky props and lighting, atmospherically creepy. The only complaint I had was with the "actors" that staffed the haunted houses. They were mostly high-school drama students (although the dude that portrayed Leatherface [ from the "Texas Chainsaw Massacre"] had to be pushing 6'8") that moved a little awkwardly and over-acted quite a bit (pssssst.....teen aged "Blacula"......here's a little hint. I can see right off the bat that you're wearing spooky contact lenses and fangs. No need really to open your eyes as wide as possible [achieving that Graves' disease look] or keep your lips pulled back in a grimace. Sometimes subtle is spookier). And, as a quick aside, I should know about the acting. In high school I was the darling of the one-act play scene. My drama teacher often told me that with hard work and lots of practice, I could achieve the emotional range of William Shatner.

One thing that is a little weird about 6F is the dichotomy of age. Most of the people there were clearly either parents, or teenagers. The teenagers run about engaging in grab-assery that was unheard of in my day (although, to be fair, the grab-assery of 6F is NOTHING compared to the handsy foreplay that kids do at Wet-n-Wild. That's a whole other blog, though). Phoebe and I saw a couple in the pavillion grossly making out. They were so awkward and stiff (no pun intended, heehee) that it was clear that they had met at 6F. It was like thumb wrestling, but with tongues. Cissy and Ryan also observed some high teen melodrama whilst in line for the Titan.

By far and away, the best part of 6F (except for maybe the $10.00 sodas, or $20.00 hamburger baskets) was the people watching. It was like tripping on acid while visiting a steroid-pumped county fair. One of my new favorite games to play was "Spot the European on Vacation". Gee, how about the guy with the 80's haircut and weird foreign jeans? Yup. What about the woman in stirrup pants and a Mickey Mouse T-shirt? Right again. How 'bout the man in a wearing a fannypack and dark socks with his white sneakers? Hmmmmm.......I don't know......let's eavesdrop for foreign language.....yes! 3-for-3!!

I was engaged in an intense bout of people watching when Phoebe casually told me that Mike (her husband) always says that 6F makes him feel way "above average" in every way. You know what? It's true. So what if I'm fat......there's 10 guys over there waaaaaaaay fatter. My hair is curled into a Jewfro? Look over there. Think I'm a creepy bastard? Check out the mutant ManChild to my left. The only danger is looking TOO closely and seeing somebody validating themselves while looking at ME......

All in all it was a good trip (I cannot over-recommend the benefits of valet parking. Yes, I know I usually loathe valet. This is an exception to the rule). Except that Phoebe didn't get any funnel cake. Again. There's always next year, Phoebe.