Tragedy! Even beyond what the Bee-Gees sing about!

Current mood:despairing

Category: Blogging

My friends, it is with a very heavy heart that I bring you some sad news: Gary Gygax is dead. He passed into the realm of the storm giants on March 4th. No confirmation on the rumor that he was buried in a cloak of invisibility +4. To be honest, experts aren't sure how, exactly, Gary's passing might affect the economy. It is likely that the majority of Americans will take off work Friday (which will henceforth be known as Gyday) to mourn by being celibate and rolling 20-sided dice.

On a personal note, let me subtly understate Gary's impact on my young life by declaring him the greatest American that ever lived. Cissy cruelly said that he didn't die; He only "leveled up". Cissy also laughed and did a little dance when Ronald Reagan died.

My association with Gary Gygax's product, Dungeons and Dragons, began when I was around 10 or 11 years old. I was living in Benton, Arkansas (right outside of Little Rock). Some of the more popular kids in the Salem Elementary school played and invited me to join the group. My parents were good enough to procure me a rulebook (it's called "The Dungeonmaster's Guide, for those who want to improve themselves). Thusly armed, I dove right into the game. We would get together on the weekends and play a little D&D (that's cool-speak for "dungeons and dragons", for those of you not hip enough to know). We had a pretty good run for a couple of years, until my dad broke the news that we would be moving to Atlanta, Texas. I'm pretty sure the guys were heartbroken at the prospect of losing the best player ever. Of course, nobody ever said anything to that effect, but I'm pretty sure they were thinking it.......I could tell by that apathetic look in their eyes.

I'm pretty sure my parents weren't all that jazzed about the game. Once, they made a big point of watching a TV movie with me that depicted a group of college kids involved in a fantasy game. Only one of the kids was SO into the game that he had trouble distinguishing fantasy from reality, and began killing people......thinking they were mythical creatures (The name of that TV movie? "Mazes and Monsters", starring a young Tommy Hanks). Peppered throughout the movie were parental comments like:

"Wow, imagine that. He couldn't tell what was real anymore..."(forced, awkward laugh)

"Guess that's what happens when you play TOO much"

"Can't give your imagination free reign all the time"

"If it could happen to a college kid, watch out it doesn't happen to you"

I'm fairly sure that not being able to tell reality from fantasy is called schizophrenia. And I'm also fairly sure that you cant catch the schizophrenia from pretending once in a while. But I didn't know that back then. Also, I though too much masturbation might gradually weaken my eyes, rendering me sightless (but that's fodder for another blog).

Imagine my surprise when, upon moving to Atlanta, I found a group of kids that played D&D. Then imagine my surprise when I found out that the kids in Atlanta that played D&D were the social outcasts. In Atlanta, Texas, one could EITHER play football and be cool, OR play D&D and be in the band (um, no offense band guys that are reading this). I was forced to make my choice......and I made it. From then on out, I was a closeted D&D fan.

The only mis-step that Gary Gygax made was the adaption of his game into a Saturday morning cartoon. I've mentioned in past blogs my disdain for the cartoon "Dungeons and Dragons". When I looked up the cartoon on IMDB (because I'm a nerd like that......guess you can take the boy out of D&D, but......well, you know) I found out that the two main characters were voiced by Willie Aames, and Donny Most (better known as Ralph "the mouth" from Happy Days). Are you now beginning to see the foulness of this cartoon?

Ah well......as with most people, the good things that Gary Gygax did made up for the mistakes. I'm sad to see Gary go. Mostly because I need a rule clarification on how to advance my lawful-neutral thief/assassin.

And if the above weren't depressing enough, I found out that Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer. That sucks. I guess my longtime dream of seeing "Roadhouse 2" isn't going to be happening anytime soon.