Bad Food Day
I'm frustrated today. I can't seem to shake the feeling that I'm eating too much. Which severly depresses me. I guess this is bandster hell. I've had my first fill. That was Monday and my doc asked me to come back in two weeks for another one. In hopes to get me to my sweet spot faster.
I'm still eating around my plate the right way. And usually I have solid protein for lunch. Tuna or a turkey burger something like that. The worst I do is a lunchable, but they're still good protein. I'm just frustrated like no end. I think I need a hug. :cursing: I just feel like crying. :cursing:
Dark chocolate is my weakness, one of my triggers big time. Today while I was at the gas station getting my coffee I found the ultimate. A dark chocolate snickers bar. What evil person thought of that. However, I only ate half of it and threw the other half in the garbage. I wanted the other half, but couldn't eat it. I guess that counts for something. Then for dinner I had a little bit of cheese tortelini my hubby made the other day and some fried rice. Not a lot of protein, I guess that's why I don't feel full. I'm satisfied, just not full.
I've discovered when I eat solid protein I get fuller faster. When I eat pud stuff like rice or pasta I don't get full at all. I get satisfied, but not full. And I know I didn't eat too much, hubby is really good at telling me when he thinks I'm eating too much. Which is good, that's what I want him to do.
I just don't know. As most of you know my folks refinanced their house for me to have this surgery (I didn't ask them to, once I found out that my insurance woudln't cover it, I gave up. They did it against my knowledge and didn't tell me till all the appointments were made.) But it raised their house payment so much they don't know if they're going to be able to make the payment. Not helping me from feeling very depressed and kind of out of sorts. My dad is an over the road truck driver and is working himself into an early grave trying to make this house payment. :cursing: I'm so sad for them. Maybe that's why I'm feeling this way.
On the upside, I've lost 28 pounds so far though and I had my surgery the 16th of June. That's not since surgery though that's since I started my liquid diet June 1st. I know I can do this and that it's going to work for me. It's my last chance to have a baby, it has to work for me or that ship sunk. I bought a new outfit the other day and wore it to work yesterday, everyone LOVED it! It's my "I just lost 30 pounds outfit". :cursing: That's pretty much been the highlight of the last few days.
Well I guess all I can do is go to bed and tomorrow is another day. Hope this finds you all feeling and doing well. I love you all, you're like family to me. My bandster family. Enjoy your day all. Talk to you soon.
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