So I visited my regular doc today and she was so much cooler than I thought she was gonna be. Everyone has been really supported (everyone that I have told that is, which isn;t many). I know it is such a good thing, but then it also makes me think, "wow, okay, so how long has everyone been thinking I am an obese mess?" But then I know, probably not nearly as long as I have been thinking this about myself. Anyway, the medical records are sent to the surgeons office, should take about a week to get all there and in my packet and stuff. Then another 3 days the office staff said it would take them to highlight and prepare the insurance stuff. Then anywhere from 2-12 weeks until I hear a yes or a no. Please please please, if anyone is reading this hope, pray, cross your fingers, etc. for my approval. I am ready to get on with this. I am working on it on my own now with working out and trying to stay in control with eating, but I could really use this tool so I don't drive myself crazy. I don't have a whole lot to do this summer and I am sure others can relate-sitting around in an empty house is not the best medicine for weight loss. I would go for a walk with the doggies, but oh wait it is only 110 degrees out there, hah. I have been singing and dancing around the house. I am just waiting waiting waiting. I make lists almost everyday as to why I want this and what my life would be like losing weight. I recently rubbed a hole in the inner thigh area of my work pants and my next shift was only 3 days laway. Of course there are no big lady stores in my area that are currently carrying khaki pants appropriate for my unifrom. I had to pay old navy $20 extra to get pants in time. Then they were still too long. What a bummer! This was a really nervous situation for me and I hate to say it, but I had an exrteme breakdown in front of my beautiful boyfriend who is training to be a fire fighter and is just about as healthy as they come. He was so great and he even offered to pay for the $20 shipping so I wouldn't be so sad. It is the most frustrating kind of sad because I know I am the one who continues to make myself awfully distressed. Luckily it worked out...this time. How much easier would it have been though to just go to the mall and grab some new work pants and a cute summer dress just for kicks haha. I never want to spend another summer in Tucson at this high of a weight. It is just too damn hot here. I really want to work at my boyfriend's aunt's summer camp up in Wisconsin next summer. Swimming, camping, skiiing, boating...all sounds a lot better under the plus sizes, right? Have I pled my case enough, haha...are you crossing your fingers for me yet? Well I guess thats it. I know I am just at the base of this mountain I will climb for the rest of my life and it is only going to get harder before it gets easier. But i gotta start somewhere. I can use as much support as possible though! I have hit so many lows, now it is time for some more highs!