I was banded in October 2006. I had my first fill July 2006 1.6 cc in a 4cc band. I lost about 90lbs and was happy. I felt empowered over eating a little bit of food and being able to walk away for three hours without thinking about food. Then in May 2007 I had a scare with not being able to hold down water or food due to a congested cold. So, I never went back for a fill. I made appointments and canceled. I saw that my body was looser due to weight loss, and I started thinking that maybe it was better to just be fat. And then when it came time for a fill, I thought well I could use $200 for something else. I've always put other people and their happiness before my own.

I've now decided that I am worth it. My motives have changed for health reasons, and to be able to live comfortably. . . like going in a store and being able to wear a size or jeans for that matter. Or going to get my hair done, and not have to worry if I'll fit in the chairs. I have been big all my life, and I feel there are signs all around that big people don't belong.

I know that I would be happier at a smalller weight, but when I do reach my goal, I don't want my success to be in vain. I want to help others who struggle with the eating addiction.