I finally have my appt with the Surgeon for August 12. I'm pretty excited but I'm also a little anxious about it. What if they tell me I can't have surgery or something else goes wrong? Also I really was hoping to have surgery before school starts but I start August 24. I don't know if I can wait any longer though. I'm a little tired of people asking me why I'm doing this. Isn't it obvious? I'm fat people. I'm unhappy. If I could lose weight easily on my own I would do that. People keep asking me why don't I just work out? I do work out. I work out every day. Obviously there's other issues involved and I think this is the best choice for me. I'm going to stop telling people because they just don't understand. But I am excited because I feel like I'm at the end of my pre-surgery journey. Blogging how I feel about it is really helping. I weighed at the gym yesterday and it said 222, we'll see what the doctors scale says.

I woke up with horrible pain in my back today and I haven't taken any pain meds in weeks. I think I will have some this morning though because I cannot deal with this on my own. Usually I just push through the minor pain but this is not minor pain. Oh well. that's what the meds are for. I just want to sleep until my appt comes then I can't gain any weight and I won't have to deal with any of the anxiety. It's too bad I'm not a wizard who could invent such a potion. But then I would also miss out on the next three weeks of life-not really what I want to do.:smile:

I totally understand how u feel. When I had my surgeory Oct 29, 2009. I was so ready for it and time slowed down. I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want to hear the comments that people is telling you. They just don't understand. A few months later, I told my co-workers because in my department of 12, 4 of us are banded. Just keep your head up and try to stay postive. I know its hard.

I understand everything you are saying. I haven't had surgery yet or have a date yet, but I'm not telling a lot of people when I do. Sometimes I just sleep life away because I hate how I look and don't want to feel humiliated and unworthy in public. I feel guilty about this because I know life is precious. How did I get to this point? My self esteem is zero. You are going to feel so much better after August. Good for you.