Its been a while and stress at work more than anything has kept me from the very good routine I had started with visiting the site and posting to my blog, but better late than never... right? Well it will definitely have to be right in my case because my preliminary phases have been stretched out a little.

This past Thursday I had my lab work, ultrasound and upper GI. I have to admit I was shocked by the speediness that I was able to get everything done and be out of the hospital. It was a truly effortless day.

I am not scheduled to see the docs again until next month but I finally heard from the folks at the sleep study center and I have an appointment on the 26th. I have heard more than once it will not be a good night's sleep and I may have to do it twice. The 2nd appointment is 2 weeks after that first and then I have to see their doctor in early October. Since I was told the appointments for the nutrionist and psychologist does not occur until after those phases, in my mind I do not see myself getting a date (if its all approved..still have to keep my fingers crossed on that) until Thanksgiving or later. That actually might not be a bad idea..in fact, if possible I might even push for mid-December so I can recovery during the Xmas holidays with my family.

As my title suggests, I consider the late dates to be a step back, but not like the other 2. First..the smoking thing..I would like to say I kicked it cold turkey but I have not:thumbdown:..still working on it. I have cut back to damn near nothing which is why it makes me angry when I actually smoke. I get the urge more for the "habit" reason than the physical need for nicotine since I actually went a whole day without one. It still makes me feel like crap if I have one, so the insanity of it just pisses me off.

Like I said work has been a real source of stress and I took time off as a result and ended up totally falling off my wagon of small portions, good food choices and just being more active and I am SURE I have gained back at least 5 of the 8 lbs I lost. I can feel it. I feel horrible. I just lost my damn mind. I binged on all of my favorite things. Chinese food, fast food, wings, and alcohol meeting up with thin girlfriends for drinks. Horrible! And of course..like it goes..more I ate..more I got tired and less active. Yes, I am totally disgusted with myself! :thumbup:

But today..is a new day..I am back in the right frame of mind. Because I understand it is truly all about how I think and IF I think about what I am doing. I simply have to get my focus back and remember my goal. I am also going to re-visit the discussion with my husband about the surgery because I certainly cannot go to the sleep study without telling him since he may be a little concerned and/or if he comes home from work and I am not in the bed. I am going to simply advise him that my point of discussion is not to get his permission or for him to agree but to give him the opportunity to go to an appointment with me and/or one of the upcoming information sessions I want to attend. I also want him to understand I would like to have his support, but with 2 supportive daughters than can help me with the physical and emotional issues that may arise, if I don't it will not deter me. It really is that simple.

Please keep me in prayer.

Don't beat yourself up about the "pig out". After I met with the surgeon I was told I had to loose weight. I wanted to, I intended to, but I ate like crazy. All those things I thought I would miss. Then it hit me, if I didn't loose weight my liver would not shrink and right in the middle they would just close me up.

So I called the nutritionist and went on a self imposed semi liquid diet. Two or Three protien drinks and a sensable dinner. Funny, it was so easy. I became motivated. Now ask me about exercise, I didn't do a thing until the day after my surgery. I started out not being able to walk further than out the walk and one house and back. Within a month I was walking miles.

My surgery was 9-23-08 and I have not eaten bread, rice, candy or sugar. I will eat yams because they are not "potatos, which is one step from mashed. I am now almost a vegetarian. I have to eat moist meat, so once a month a good steak, small portion, chicken thigh or fish. Lots and lots of fish. No egg yoke, only whites, and lots of oatmeal. I have developed food alergies, not due to the band, I am just weird. So I now drink Rice Milk or Almond Milk.

Is it worth it, would I do it again? In a heart beat. Every time I see my surgeon I cry and tell him he saved my life.

It is not a magic cure, but it is a tool, a wonderful, lovely tool.

And I wore my bathing suit today. I felt great, I was a little shy and embarrassed, but it was fantastic. I wish you the best.

Take care. Let me know how you are doing.

Debbie