Making It Through Tough Times
I think I'm learning to get used to this new way of living and eating. I can recall very few times in my life where I actually felt full. I wasn't even sure anymore how that was supposed to feel. Now when I eat, I feel full. And when I don't eat, I feel hungry - another new feeling for me. I think I just ate all the time...mindless nibbling, huge meals...and I never allowed myself the opportunity to develop hunger. So, that's a new feeling for me as well. My scale today shows 212.2#. My preop visit weight was 239.5, so I'm very satisfied with a 27.3# loss. I can feel the difference in my clothes, and when I have to walk long distances at work. I have yet to be noticed for having lost weight. And I've kept my surgery private from most of the people I work with, so there's no pressure there. My family has been tremendously supportive. Although my husband still thinks I need to eat more.
On the Mom front, the discovery is that she has a large (at least lemon-sized) tumor in her left breast. We have found that it has been there since December - she kept it to herself as long as she could. After the initial anger at her for not sharing that with anyone, or at least trying to get medical attention (she is a retired nurse), I've resigned myself to the fact that she is so very, very private - that anything like that - including doctor's exams, mammograms, etc, - would make her feel violated in some way. So, since she chose to keep the cancer to herself, there is not much I can do now except try to get her the best treatment I can. If it's too late, then we will deal with that, and make sure the rest of her life is happy and wonderful, surrounded by family.
I hope all of you get your mammograms, despite how we feel about our bodies.
Thank you for all the support. I am in awe of what all of you amazing women have been through, and continue to go through. --Lauraq
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