New life
Ok...counting down the days....almost three weeks postop!!
I haven't lost hardly ANYTHING since the surgery--but I guess that is normal--the good thing is I haven't GAINED anything yet. It's just that I'm getting a little panicky like I'm not doing enough. Like I need to get my head wrapped around what is going on--or not going on with my weightloss.
I am feeling like I could eat ANYTHING right now. I haven't thrown up, PB'd, Slimed or anything yet. Thank GOD for that!! I haven't been trying to test my band really---but if it's soft then I'll eat it. And I can eat ALOT of some things!! I can drink with my meals--no problem. I can do pretty much everything I could do without the band--salad, watermelon, bread. I haven't tried rice yet...or nuts. The "hard stop" feeling that I got the first couple of weeks seems to be passing...so Bandster Hell...HERE I AM!
I've set a goal for myself of 10 pounds a month. I'm RIGHT at goal now for my first month post surgery---so I am sensing urgency of NOW is the time to get a grip...and work with my band! I have my first postop appt with my dr tomorrow--I know it's WAY out from surgery, but I've been so sick with pneumonia..etc. that now is the first time I can. Sixteen pounds gone since I was there for my preop appt...which is good, because I haven't obsessed about dieting or food at all. It is changing it's place in my heart from living to eat to eating because I have to.
Family vacation is next week in Tennessee...I'm really excited about it and for the first time feel this sense of FREEDOM about it all. With my family--vacations revolve around food---preparation, cleaning up, having enough desserts, more prep, food, food, food. This time I don't feel the panick that I have always felt. It's hard to explain, but the diets to prep for seeing family--then getting there and feeling the excitement and the failure of overeating the whole time. This time---totally different.
THIS FEELING OF INDIFFERENCE towards food is the EXACT reason I needed the band. The chains are starting to loosen their hold.
I got my hair done Saturday! It's DARK and totally different but I love the cut. The color will take some getting used to. :confused3:) But I love the new look and fresh start feeling.
And I went shopping for some capris. I didn't get a smaller size yet, but I liked my reflection in the mirror. My tushi is getting smaller!! :oD
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