Saturday, June 20, 2009

Coping Without Food

Today, for the first time this summer, we needed our air-conditioning. It was out of freon. We paid twice the normal rate to have someone fill it. We ran out again. We will probably need to replace the air-conditioner for which we have no money.

We also need to dig up either the inside of our basement or the outside to put in draintile. All the basement paneling needs to be thrown out. The hidden walls are a mess as is the cement floor (we threw out the linoleum.) We were flooded twice last year in August and in November. The basement reeks and is basically unusable.

My husband lost his job a year ago and just now started receiving Social Security from taking early retirement. So far that money has been taken up by emergencies like the pothole that caused major damage to the car.

I'm also making less money due to the economy.

And so it goes. We're not unique; many people are struggling. I keep having to remember to thank God for the roof over my head (even though it leaks), the clothes on my back, the shoes on my feet, and the food on my table (even though I can't eat it right now.)

And I am physically incapable of turning to food to help me get through this. I have no choice but to deal with these things without turning to food.

I'm currently on clear liquids which provide very little nourishment and which I have to sip in unbelievably small sips in order to not incur pretty severe pain going up my esophagus.

Missed going to a party today because of the pain. But I took a long walk this morning, by the forest preserve, and saw a deer (which I love as long as they're not in my yard eating my flowers. I lost a bed of lilies.)

And so it goes. Back in April I woke up with a song based on Phillipians 4:10-13.

The words are:

Don't wanna be a superstar, don't need to drive a brand new car

Don't need to own a mansion, or wear the latest fashion

Don't wanna be a poor man, but don't need to be a rich man

For I am content, no matter what my circumstance

I am content, no matter what my lot

I know what it means to live in want or have plenty

I know the meaning of being content is

That I can do all things through him who strengthens me

Yes! I can do all things through him who strengthens me.