:crying:Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Goodbye, food

Last night I said goodbye to food--forever. Well, not quite. But I did have to start on a low-carb, liquid diet in preparation for lap band surgery, which, the Lord willing, will happen next Thursday. Its been a long journey. I began the official process a year ago, when I'd had enough with high blood pressure, high cholesterol, borderline diabetes and constant pain from osteo-arthritis. I jumped through a lot of insurance hoops and tests to get to this point. I prayed for healing from my food cravings and I still do. Everyday is a battle with the desire to eat and eat and eat. Over time, the food has won. And I battle with what I think other people will think. How they, especially Christians, will judge me.

I've only told a few people about the surgery. Now I'm letting the world know. I believe its important for my recovery that I not hide this in a corner. Whether anyone reads this or not isn't important. My food cravings won't go away just because I can't eat much. Journaling has always helped me cope during tough times. I'm hoping it will help now, and that maybe it will help others.

A verse came to me in church last Sunday that confirmed my decision. Jesus said it in Matthew 5:29. "If your eye offends you, pluck it out." Its better to go without the eye or the hand that causes you to sin, than to keep it and endure hell (my interpretation). Hence the name of my blog: If Your Stomach Offends You, Tie It Off. It's better to go through life without much of a stomach than to live in the despair and physical destruction caused by food addiction.