Up until now, I was really reluctant to post anything more than I did 9 days ago, opting instead to read about the triumphs, advice and words of others who have had the surgery. I felt as if I was peeking into a world I was not a part of through a peephole. I only had a desire to get it done and a mandatory information session scheduled. An hour ago I returned from that session and I feel equally excited and afraid. Most of the things discussed, I had learned about from my research online, and from this website, so in alot of ways it just reinforced what I already knew. But it felt good to be able to discuss with the doctor my concerns about having a blood clot last year (he assured me it would not interfer) and about how the choice is made about what type of surgery I could get (he explained the best option based on my health would be discussed.) I surely hope he suggest the lapband since my fears may have me back out if he suggest gastic bypass.

There was about 10 other people there, many of them couples and for a second I felt a pang of regret that I did not include my husband, but he made it very clear that he does not agree with me having the surgery and I am not remiss when I say it doesnt matter, since I believe his reasons are purely selfish. I see I am going to have to rely the support of my daughters and close friends who have been nothing but encouraging. In fact my daughters are the only 2 people that could actually make me change my mind, but they are my biggest cheerleaders. I prayed about it and told myself if it is not meant to be, it will not happen. I do not believe in chance or coincidence so when the nurse asked me if I wanted to move my appointment with the doctor from July 20th to July 6th, I couldnt help but feel a little more positive about it being meant to be.

The surgeon said (like my primary care physician) the process takes about 3 months so I realize unless I get stopped at some phase of the process, I have about 90 days to get myself together. To quit smoking (he said they will not operate on smokers) to try to get my body use to some form of physical activity (guess I better dust off the treadmile) and to kick caffeine (got see if that means even the small cup I have each morning) Other things like drinking more water should be easy since I have been working on that for a while. Learning how to sip out of a medicine cup for 15 minutes as simple as it sounds, seems like its going to be a slight challenge since my husband likes to call me a "camel" because of the way I could down a drink after a meal. The smaller meals thing didnt even bother me since I often eat of a small saucer (just very often the wrong crap at the wrong times forcing me to be where I am today) I also did not realize there would be cost incurred outside of usual doctor visit co-pays. I have to check with the doctor's assistant to see if my insurance will pay all or any portion the $475 (275 psych..200 nutritionist) that is also necessary to go to the next step.

All and all..I will do whatever it takes. I have reached many goals in my life but always fell short when it came to my weight. I feel like it has been the one thing I have failed at time and time again. I know this journey will have alot of twists and turns and to say it will be easy will be foolish, but for once I feel serious about doing something for me. Not my kids...not my husband...not my job..but for me.

Good for you! Take care of #1 so you will be around to take care of everyone else, You are worth it!

No one goes into this without some anxiety so you're not alone. You won't be drinking those tiny amounts for long (just a few days, and I had a regular cup even at the hospital)...I can drink pretty normally; other than the gurgling sound going through the band. I've heard some here have a 'screen' inserted (groin area I think) before surgery if you're prone to clotting. I had a leg scan for clots before leaving the hospital. I'd ask the doc what extra precautions he will take. Best wishes! -BG

Thank you so much for your encouraging words..One thing that seems to be consistent is the amount of support and kind words I receive from others on this website.