Blog 48905

Well here I am not doing any better than I was in April. I have gained some weight and just cannot get it to STOP. I do not hardly ever feel restriction. I am eating well, exercising a lot and steadily gaining. I gave up my beloved TAB a year ago and I too WANT it back. It did not do any good to get rid of it. I have lots of WATER, now too. I am just kind of "Whatever" about my LB now. I am gaining, it seems like the same diet I have went on the past ten years. I usually lose 40 then gain it all back. And I need to lose like 60 more!! I too wish I could have had a roux en y but my BMI did not qualify for it. This is all I could get and now it does not work for me. I am trying hard, hard to be full and just STOP. I am trying to go back to postop hungry, hungry diet. I cannot go back to Weight Watchers. I am a lifetime member and went back numerous times. Same thing happens there as at my doc's office. They only recognize and really help the people who are successful. The strugglers and rejoiners are ignored or made to feel like failures. Well, I failed AGAIN, yet AGAIN. I don't know what to do now. I just don't. My band is just about full---7in a 9 and I am at the end of my rope. I am tired of looking and feeling like this. I am tired of trying so darn hard and then GAINING! Crap!! Well better to write here than eat, right? Am I angry, you bet I am. But now I am getting over that and am just totally disappointed. Please don't tell me it is a TOOL, I know that. the tool is doing almost nothing for ME! Hey all of you out there, you are NOT alone! Wondering why I did not do research into how successful this really is. As I hear all these people on the site so darn excited about getting their surgery and changing their lives I just want to SHOUT and say --IT MAY NOT WORK THAT GOOD!! But being there like them I hope the best for them and don't want to squash their happiness. This lapband thing is just NOT what it was cooked up to be. Or else as I heard many people say here--it is ALL ME and I am just a nutso crazy eater and my head is just on backwards. It is ALL my fault I never feel the restriction. There isn't supposed to be ANY! That's what the nurse says! Oh well. Sorry I got on a roll here and got some of this OUT of my system! YES! :thumbup:

BioTeacher I understand your frustration and feelings. I don't want to preach because I have been there (loosing and gaining) however beating yourself up and feeling like a failure is not healthy. I'm not banded long enough to have any "real" answers about why you may not be loosing however don't give up on yourself and more importantly stop blaming yourself.

I'm not sure if you have tried therapy but that may help work through some of the anger and self distruction.

I feel for you and wish you all the best please continue to use this forum to help you vent!

O.K. look I'm going to be completely blunt here. Your nurse and Dr. are full of SHIT! You should absolutely feel restriction! You need to find a new Dr.! When was the last time you had a fill? Have they ever checked to see if you for sure have 7cc in your band? I've heard of people and have a close friend that has lost fluid from their band. She thought there was 6cc in there and when they withdrew the fluid there was only 4.5. From your previous Blogs it sound like you have an uncaring, piss poor Dr and I would definitely look elsewhere! There's no sense in you feeling this frustrated when you've been through so much! Hang in there!

I agree with dacreid. I think you should seek a second opinion and ask them to check the fill level. From everything I have read, and benn told by my docs, you SHOULD feel restricted! Also... is it possible that your band is not positioned correctly and it is allowing you to have too large of a pouch? I am new here, but that was the first thing that came to mind.

I was banded in Jan 09 so clearly I'm learning here. I knew I'd be a slow loser because I'm 56 with a thyroid condition but I had hope. It took me 3 years to get up the courage to go through the surgery. I have lost about 20lbs with much pre op, fear of the surgery was a great motivator to stay on a diet. Now 6 months out and only 20lbs down, I'm feeling pretty bad. Band just didn't work for me. Another excuse! So I joined WW. Yes, AGAIN! Lost count of how many times I've rejoined. I am a lifetime member since early 1980's. But, a BIG realiaztion came. My thought was that I was eating well and really did not want to cut down any more on the amt I am eating, my body should be losing on this. Thyroid excuse here and then there's the age issue. Well can you imagine my surprise when I went to bed with real hunger in my stomach after eating all my points the first day? No, I did not eat it all in junk. They have what they call filling foods which I tried to use much of. I am writing everything down and I KNOW the cal/pts value of everything I am eating. In just a few days I have lost 2 lbs!

Importantly, I read the 5 day pouch test someone gave the link to. I realized that I have gotten away from lean protein and gone more to the slider foods for comfort. Back to what I heard and dont want to accept, the band is just a tool. Using it may mean the inconvience of eating slow without ANY fluids and the discomfort of tightness. I knew this when I started now maybe I just want to have it MY WAY and let the band do the work. I'm finding out my way does't work. I REALLY believed my excuse that my metabolism was just slow because of my thyroid and age. Maybe that is the case and it is too early to tell but 2 lbs in just a few days give me hope again. And reading the 5 day pouch test along with using all my points and was still hungry was an eye opener. I realized how far I'd gotten away from where I am supposed to be on how much and what I eat. I was not eating everything I wanted so it was easy to tell myself I was using portion control. I mean what is wrong with a tiny pce of cheese cake. Oh, it was easy to forgot the few cookies I at at 10am and a handful of almonds at 2:00, they are healthy after all. Tracking and counting cal/points or some kind of accountability is key for me. I NEVER imagined I was eating more than WW would allow me. Never. Too, I have been doing just a sip or two of crystal lite with food.