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6/24/09 Life Happens

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Band_Groupie

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Well Tuesday, after posting my garden pics blog after dinner, things got a little crazy around here. One of the couples going to the concert with us/old neighbors that moved close by was in the area (birthday dinner out for one of their teens). They called us and we invited them over. We invited another couple (going to the concert) over, had drinks on the patio (perfect weather) and discussed our plans while all the kids visited. The last couple (going to the concert) was returning from vacation that evening and we got a call that an Uncle in their family had died (expected, Hospice had been there). After about four more calls back and forth we found that the viewing would be during the concert, so they couldn't go.

Then we got a call from DS1, that he'd been in an accident; no injuries. I always hesitate to share negative things about my kids here, but I will just incase it keeps someone else from having an accident (or your kids). He works with one of his good friends and after work his friend was performing in a band at a local bar (they have events scheduled on occasion just for underage teens, no alcohol). He was following his friend's car through the parking lot to park (probably too closely) and looked down 'for a second' to tune his iPod…friend stopped, DS1 didn't (even with hands-free phone calls there are too many distractions in cars these days with all the electronics...FYI we've always limited the number of kids he can drive and he's supposed to set the iPod to a playlist before he leaves and phone is supposed to be on speaker and only for important things).

Bottom line is the friend's car had a higher bumper with a long/large trailer hitch and my minivan's front end (must be made of cellophane) was no match (minor damage to friend's car). He was going between 2-5 mph at the time (that was the prediction of the auto-shop manager the next day, as the airbags would have gone off if he was over that for the kind of accident he had, and they hadn't deployed). So that evening we spent some time sorting that out. Somehow (LOL) we also ended up with everyone's kids spending an overnight at our house, so there was popcorn to be made and sleeping bags and fresh pillowcases to be rounded up after the parent's left.

We spent yesterday morning getting kids fed/home, then lunchtime calling; insurance, the friend's father (DS1 called to apologize, etc.), the rental car place, and we took my minivan to the car shop (5-6K or possibly totaled; and yes, DS1 was there at each step to hear it all); the hitch punched into my minivan killing the radiator and A/C fan (maybe more) and wrecking the hood, front end/bumper and front side panel…ouch! DS1 is going to be paying what the insurance wont (we made a deal with our kids that we'd pay for their first accident only). He had a similar wreck just about 8 months ago at the stop-light right in front of his workplace. DH's car that time…a bumper miss-match with a tall SUV in front as they were all stopping for the light "she made a hard stop sooner than he expect" and even though he was down to under 10mph DH car went under the other car's bumper (can you say TAILGATING!). Again, the SUV had hardly a scratch, but they almost totaled DH's car. Insurance yesterday said 'Didn't he just have this same kind of accident?' 'Ummm, yes, just a different car.' AHHHH!

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I know some of you'll think we're the strictest parents (we all do the best we can), but I'll tell you anyway (and no, he didn't get any consequences other than a long talk for the first accident, but the second time it becomes carelessness)…we'll only be letting him drive to/from work, but with us in the passenger seat for awhile to 'coach/tune up' his driving skills (punishments always seem to punish the parents too don't they...can't wait for the late night pick-up when the restaurant closes), and no, he won't have the iPod (or even the use of the radio or phone) in the car for awhile even when he returns to driving…we need this one to 'hurt' as he doesn't really have an appreciation for just some money coming out of his savings account. We'd also had already been talking to him about getting a second job as he wasn't getting enough hours at a restaurant, so we forced that issue yesterday and he called and got rehired at his old job (retail store).

Of course it's not the hassle or insurance rate going up (it will) that we care about; he just needs to learn the lesson now before he or someone else gets HURT or worse…that's our real worry. Driving is a privilege and he's gotten over-confident in his abilities (we've seen that watching him drive recently…he started off as a careful driver, but now he's gotten complacent after driving for 3 years and needs an attitude adjustment). He needs to take it seriously and understand the responsibility of driving. We've had several sit-down discussions with him and I'm sure well be talking more about it on the way to PSU tomorrow (fun, fun, fun...NOT).

In the afternoon we ran and got things for our tailgate and got ready. We thought we had someone set to take the now extra set of tickets, but that fell through less than an hour before departure. So more scrambling with others trying to find friends to go and finally the concert attendees suggested we take our daughter/BF (about 10 min. before departure). I grabbed DD some clothes in case they could come and off we went (the neighbors picked us up and had fully decorated the car and had bought us all kinds of whacky stuff to wear and display at the tailgate.

We had a great time people watching (a major spectator sport at this concert) tailgating with the neighbors (I ate some sub (VERY carefully) and none of the sides we took, but I did have a two Corona's/Lime as it was all we had there (with some Gas X, and yes, my doc says carbonation is OK after a certain point post-op...and I nursed them forever...the tailgate is longer than the concert at JB). DD/BF got to the concert about ½ hour late (she had to work until 7pm), but they had a great time too (virgin Parrotheads). We danced, we sang, we had a blast…Buffett was awesome as always! What a way to celebrate our 50th birthdays! TERRIBLE phone-camera pic attached of us doing the Big 5-0.

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We picked up a rental car for me today and I'm off to pack for our orientation overnight at PSU tomorrow…it's been a busy, sometimes very stressful 48 hours.

*Portion of Post Deleted for Lap Band Book

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What a story...all of it!! I agree completely with your handling of the accident...consequences, not too much shame!

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WOW, You are a very GOOD parent. Parenting is so interesting. Yes, you are good, Nice job.

I got a call from my daughter not too late one night. She said " Hi Mom remember when you told me I could call you and ask for a ride and you would NOT ask me any questions?" Did I really say that? I guess I did!!!! Long story short. I did have to ask one question... I had to know where she wanted me to pick her up! Everyone was fine I just am glad we keep the communication lines open. I went to bed and asked no questions. Her friends thought I was so cool. We talked the next day. Thanks for sharing.

I had all my pre op blood work done today getting closer.

imaluckydog

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Oh silly teen drivers. We were all there at one point weren't we. It sounds like you're doing the right thing--1st times is an accident, second time is just plain carelessness. I'm glad you had fun at the concert. I heard a story about a Buffet concert in NJ last weekend where some guy got drunk and his friends stuck him in the luggage compartment of a bus load of Parrotheads coming from Lancaster. He was OK, but man, that must be crazy. It's a good thing you had to nurse those Caronas and didn't drink too much or I shudder to think what could have happened, lol. And I have to say that while you may not be looking forward to your trip tomorrow, I am very jealous. I miss the old alma matter. Have fun at PSU. Say hi to the Joe Paterno and Nittany Lion statues for me :thumbup:

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Thanks gals...ALuv- Oh, I am looking forward to tomorrow and we'll have a great time...we have a few things left to discuss (that's the part that's not fun) and then we'll move quickly on to all the fun stuff. It's all about him this trip regardless of what happened. Staying at the Nittany Lion Inn and I'll try to take some pics around campus (I'll give JoePa a kiss for you). Football tickets go on sale tomorrow night for Freshman, so I'm hoping the internet will work as I hear they sell out in an hour (we have a plan 'B' with the aunt- our god daughter/niece goes to PSU so she knows the ropes). More ice cream to tempt me at the Creamery!

Parrotheads...we saw a few 'down for the count' around us...youth...with age comes wisdom...you need to learn to pace yourself LOL.

Being a parent is the hardest job in the world...and Barbara, you're the only one I've heard of who's kid actually took them up on the offer most of us give our kids these days...I think that says a LOT about your daughter and your relationship...good job! -BG

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Sounds to me like you are doing a great job parenting! And I'm so jealous about the Buffets concert! (I'm a former parrot head, been to 8 concerts but the last one was about 12 years ago!) Glad you made it after everything that went on!

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