Anyone that has seen Shawshank Redemption may be familar with the title of my blog. It is definitely one of my favorite movies because it touched me so many ways, but that line has always stuck out in my mind because despite it's simplicity, it has helped me face many fears.

I decided a couple of weeks ago it was time to face my fear of change. I realized in order for me to really get busy living, I had to be honest with myself about what I needed to to live the best life I could and at 278 lbs, it was impossible. I had accomplished many things in the past 18 years since I had my first child when my life took on the it's first major life changing event. I got my degree, got married and did all the "grown people" things that made me appear to be successful but there was still a void which I stuffed with food.

I cant remember the last time I weighed last than 200 lbs, but I am pretty sure I was still a teen. I remember being the first kid to hit 100 lbs on the scale in elementarty school, so my weight issues have been a life long struggle...But my life isnt over.

The way I see it, if statistics are correct, I am about halfway through my life (average life expectancy of a woman is 80) and I do not intend to live the 2nd half of my life as I did the first.

I decided to finally get serious about WLS when a co-worker had gastric bypass in Oct 2008. I was one of the biggest naysayers and was sincerly concerned because she had a myriad of health issues and was a big stress eater. I also felt like she was taking the easy way out since she never once even TRIED to get serious about weight loss and despite her high blood pressure and being told she was a borderline diabetic, she continued to stuff her face with things that were just not helping. When she returned to work after 2 months, due to complications and depression because she couldnt go to food for comfort, her clothes were hanging off of her and she looked more sickly than anything, but as she found ways to accept her eating lifestyle and went shopping for better fitting clothes, she looked great and more than that her self esteem seemed to go through the roof!

After months of watching her melt down to a size I wish I could be, I had to confront her with an apology for being so negative intially about her surgery because I now could see the benefit and I wanted to join the WLS club.

Because of her complications and the seriousness of gastric bypass, I decided the lap band might suit me better. I did not want to have to wait months to heal, nor be unable to enjoy some of the foods that she had to completely give up because her system would not accept it. I started to look online for pictures, stories and forums and ended up here. I then talked to my doctor who gave me the and a referral to a well liked doctor who had been performing the surgery for many years. I am going to the mandatory information session on 6/29 and will see the doctor in July and guess thats when the ball will really get rolling. I know its a long process and can be a life altering event, but I am just tired of being the fat chick with the pretty face. Yes, I will admit right up front, there is a very large part of my decision that is based purely on looking better since my weight has not caused me to have serious health issues. I do not have high blood pressure or diabetes, but I have suffered the past 5 years with lower back problems so severe that at one time I couldn't walk a city block. And at age 41, I know if I dont make a change now, those problems will become a part of my life and my back will only get worst (not to mention what the weight is doing to my joints overall)

I have alot of support from my daughters and friends who feel it would be a great thing for me.

But my husband believes I need to try harder at exercising and surgery is NOT an option.

Unfortunately for him...his opinion does not count :tt2: because this is my life, my body and my choice. And I am ready to get busy living..

You need to get your hubby on board...you will need that support. Between my hubby and 6 yr old i have monitors all the time...and it is nice...knowing they want me to succeed as well...Talk with him..he maybe afraid you are going to change and he is going to loose you...that is VERY common!