It's been a few weeks since I posted, so it's time to get back on the stick, so to speak...

I'm enjoying my banded life...I still feel as if I have an optimal level of fill, since when I do eat, I can't eat very much before feeling full. If I eat too fast (old habit - hard to break) or take too big of a bite, I get a little stuck and have to wait for things to clear.

I've been avoiding 'sliders' like ice cream and chocolate, but have an occasional slip. Where not so long ago, that would have meant a 'I'm feeling sorry for myself' binge, now it's just a slip, and I get back on track.

Weight loss is slow, but still moving. I'm guilty of wanting it yesterday sometimes ...for instance, this past weekend I tried on a new swimsuit that I bought in anticipation of a family trip to Florida in July. I bought the suit at the size I wanted to be, not necessarily the size I was at the time. Not too far off, but still...

It's a really cute suit - kind of old-fashioned in a way, because it has a 'skirted' look to it like ones I've seen in old catalogs. Fits really close to the body, not a flared skirt, more like a mini-mini-mini pencil...scuba gear is what it reminds me of, without the length in the legs.

It's white, and fully lined, with a halter neckline. I tried it on the day it arrived, and while I wasn't ecstatic about how it looked, I wasn't horrified either - first time THAT's happened in a very long time! LOL

I knew I had some work to do, but had a month to do it in...now it's about 2 1/2 weeks before the vacation, and I'm not quite where I wanted to be, so I'm second-guessing myself and my decision to buy the suit. Normally (my pre-banded life) this would cause me to give up and just eat the first sweet / salty / crunchy / fattening thing that crossed my mouth.

Instead, last night I got on the rowing machine and did 25 minutes...I haven't rowed in a while, so it was tough, but I figure MORE exercise is the best way to get the scale moving again. I've lost nearly 50 pounds as of this writing, and I think my "easy losing" time is over. Now, I think I'm getting to the more "entrenched" fat, and it's going to take real WORK to get it off.

My tummy is so soft now...where it used to be firmer with all the fat cells packed in there! It's not a pretty sight, but I look at it as a marker of my progress. My DH said he could tell from my legs that the muscle is fighting for dominance over the fat I'm trying to lose...LOL...makes me think of a scene from a kids' cartoon where germs moves through the body and are attacked by antibodies - except I'm attacking the fat cells with exercise and eating right! :thumbup:

I'm going to focus on burning as much fat and building as much muscle as I can from this point forward - I know that will get me where I want to be, and the only way to get there is through hard work. I have a goal to be down another 10 - 15 pounds before my trip, and I'm going to make it! Increasing the intensity of my exercise will help, plus watching even more closely my portion size and protein content.

My walking is going well - I love to walk, and with summer approaching, I do more outside walking than ever. We're on summer hours at work, which means I have a shorter lunch hour, and therefore less walking time. I think that's why my weight loss has stalled somewhat. I didn't realize what a difference that 10 - 15 minutes would make (a 25 - 35 min walk versus 15 - 20), but it obviously makes a difference. I thought I was walking 'harder' to compensate, but I guess there's no substitute for time and distance...

For all those working with their band, congratulations - keep up the good work! :wub:

If you and your band seem to be at cross purposes, I encourage you to go back to the beginning - re-discover what made you certain that the band was for you, talk to your doctor or your nutritionist, and get back on track - you CAN do this, and the band can be one of your tools! :mad2:

If you're not yet banded, I encourage you to do the research, get the answers you need, and make an educated decision. I did, and it was the best decision I've ever made for ME!

NSV (Non-scale victory) - I was kidding around with my DH this past weekend, and he grabbed me in his arms, fell backward onto the bed, and proceeded to tickle me. I laughed and laughed - he loves to tickle me and most often, I love to be tickled.

After a short while, he stopped and got this contemplative look on his face. After I stopped giggling, I asked him what was up - he said simply "You didn't cough". I had forgotten that when I was heavier, I could not be tickled for long periods of time without losing my breath and starting to cough. Sometimes the coughing would bring tears to my eyes, and my DH would apologize for tickling me. It was an uncomfortable feeling - knowing he wasn't trying to hurt me, yet knowing something was wrong - why would I be coughing from being tickled?

His statement brought it home to me - whatever my weight was doing to my breathing capacity, whatever it was doing to my body to cause the coughing, it's now gone! I can be tickled like the rest of the normal-weight women out there and not worry about losing my breath or having a coughing fit. :w00t:

Perhaps a little thing, but one more piece of evidence that I'm claiming my ability to live a normal life with the help of my lapband. :wub: