Introduction Blog
This will be my first blog here, so I'll briefly introduce myself to the world of blog-readers, though it may be small.
I'm 29 (until a week from tomorrow) and I had surgery on March 6, 2009. I have an Allergan 4cc band placed in Juarez, Mexico by Dr. Jose Rodriguez.
Before I decided to have the surgery, I was at my heaviest ever. Shortly after losing 30 pounds or so on Atkins, I started re-gaining weight very quickly; roughly 70 pounds in just a few months following my parent's breakup. Nothing had ever affected me as profoundly as when my parents split up - not even my own divorce. Anyway, one day at 272 (my highest weight) I realized I had fat hands, which I had never had in all my 25+ years of being overweight They were so plump that they dimpled in at the knuckles. I snapped and realized I had a closet full of clothes that didn't fit anymore, and ankle pain every morning when my feet hit the floor. I dreaded that ankle pain every time the alarm clock woke me up.
I truly believe I had (have) a food addiction. I would go to McDonald's with my kids, eat my meal (often with dessert) and wait for my kids to finish so I could glean what was left of their happy meals. A couple of nuggets, an extra order of fries. I would eat it all, and it didn't matter if the fries were cold.
I once confided in my good friend that I had a food addiction. She thought I was joking and we laughed about it, but deep inside I knew it was true and that I had to do something. I did a quick search for food addiction on the internet and I found a video advertisement of a young lady who had lapband. I thought she was so beautiful, and her story was so much like my own - heavy all her life.
There are some things about having had the surgery that I hate. But for the most part, I love that I made the decision to get the band. For example, I hate that I told so many people because I can't stand when someone says, "You can't eat that, can you?" UGH!! lol. "Watch me!" :biggrin: If you're reading this and thinking about having the surgery, consider who you tell. Some people love to tell everyone, and they have that screw-you attitude. I'm not quite as resilient. I wish I hadn't confided in as many people as I did.
Another thing is - be ready for criticism. People will tell you you're taking the easy way out. (Lemme tell ya - this is anything BUT easy. The band will make you confront demons you never knew you had. It will force you to think about everything that you put in your mouth. It will cause - at times - physical pain like you've never experienced. It will sometimes scare the heck outta you). Others will say "shouldn't you have lost more weight by now?" or "is it healthy to lose weight that fast?" "why don't you just get that thing taken out?" "I couldn't live with that thing inside of me" all with a sly attitude about them, of course. I had one friend who said, "well, I'm not big enough to have lapband, I just need to lose about 50 pounds," while she was (is) morbidly obese. I think this was her way of telling me she wasn't near as fat as me. In my part of the country, we have a name for those kinds of people - haters.
What I love: I LOVE that I've lost nearly 40 pounds and I'm back to feeling like me. I LOVE that soon I won't feel like myself anymore because I'll be an all-new-to-me thin person! I've never been thin, and at my least-fat, I was 198 pounds. (After some serious weight loss, I celebrated breaking 200 by gaining it all back. Go figure.) I LOVE that I always only order the kid-size meal when we go out, and I can't finish it. Now my kids eat my leftovers. :thumbup: I LOVE that my ankles don't hurt every morning, and my clothes are starting to fit again. I LOVE that all the fat clothes I had bought to accommodate my weight gain are now too big for me. And for the first time in my life, I know I won't be fat forever. There is light at the end of this tunnel. I used to say that I was just destined to be a big girl. I LOVE that I don't believe that anymore.
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