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The Best is yet to Be!

HI, After a long journey I now have my surgery date of December 15, 2014. I am nervous, excited, scared, and can't wait all at the same time.   When I met with the Dr. yesterday I was wanting to loose weight so very badly I was scared to make a decision of which surgery to choose. I have consistently leaned toward sleeve, but when it came down to decision time I wondered if I was choosing wrong for me and what if I didn't succeed? In hindsight I realize I placed myself in a no win and Sleeve is the right surgery for me. My goal is health 10 years from now, being able to take ibuprofen as needed, avoiding malnutrition, and learning to be satisfied with a taste of favorite foods and still loose weight and gain a higher level of health than I currently am living.   The realization that I really did choose right for me with sleeve came to me as I told friends about doing surgery and explaining what I was planning and why. I can't even talk about bypass with a straight, neutral face! I get all thinking about doing that to me so Sleeve is my surgery and I am good with it.   I have attempted to loose weight for YEARS, I have never been successful even with calorie restrictions, high protein, exercise, personal trainers, multiple modified eating habits and diets, metabolic clinic work ups and all I could do. I can say now I have done all I can and my body likes to gain weight, the Dr. at the metabolic clinic is who suggested surgery as a good option for me and started me to thinking in this direction. That was over a year ago.   I am ready to live and not say the best of life is behind me.   I am married, and I have great immediate family support from my kids and husband. I have 4 children and one grand child. I haven't told my extended family my plans yet, but I have been open about it at work.   Doing surgery right before Christmas feels right - a little crazy - but right. I am so ready! I will celebrate the holiday without the food and I can still enjoy the season! I am working on making a plan of success for that and my imagining has me being successful.   I am struggling with the thoughts of what if I only loose a little bit? My sweet husband says if I just quit gaining I have still won! SO very TRUE< but I want MORE! I do not want to accept that I may only loose 50% of my excess weight - I want to be the gal who looses down to a healthy weight. I don't need to go bikini thin - just healthy size and functioning.   Forums are new for me, but I know getting support and having a place to ask questions increases my success and satisfaction both and will keep me reality based. (I should have read what people put in these before I started writing!)   I look forward to making friends and being a friend in this journey.
EverLearning

EverLearning

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Pre Op diet Anxiety

Tomorrow I start my pre op diet. My anxiety is high - so is my fear of failure. I feel I have never been successful in weight loss for over 15 years so why should this time be any different? I know it is the right thing to do, I also can admit I am stubborn enough to stick to hard things. So with that --BRING IT ON!   I still wonder what is going to happen? Is it really possible for ME to lose weight? I guess this is a trial of: Do I trust the answers I have received to move forward with this plan? Do I trust the process? Do I have the faith to allow it to work for me? Will it all be worth it? I can answer YES to each question. So it is time to get out of my self pity wallow and enjoy today.   SO....why am I anxious?
EverLearning

EverLearning

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pre op diet

The first 3 days were the hardest. Day 3 especially. Day 4 was AWESOME and I had energy and did stuff and worked full day without falling asleep until bed time!   Today is day 6. I am pretty emotional, sensitive, headachey and without much confidence. I did my weight and measurements this morning and found I am down 6 pounds - 5 of which appear to be muscle. DANG, no energy to exercise and my muscle is disappearing faster than my fat. I am also only down 3 cm as I went up 5 and lost 8. Why in the world? I am feeling frustrated, disappointed, questioning everything except the need for something different than being fat.
EverLearning

EverLearning

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How to define success?

I read a blog about why we gained weight and got the way we are. I posted on it a comment about looking forward. That has stayed with me and I want to define what do I think is success?   The goal of health, too nebulous to ever know if it was achieved.   Being thin? Probably not realistic at my age, but the forum has given me hope of loosing more than I initially thought I would! Do I want thin? or curvy? or just less physically than I am now?   More energy? Again hard to say when I have arrived.   Happiness? That comes from within.   As I am headed to surgery I have realized if I don't define milestones of success ....I will never be satisfied and my frustration will be more than it needs to be.   There is a good chance I won't recognize the good as I am living it!!!   I have come up with no longer gaining weight. I am not sure what else...   I worry about hydration, eating, recovery, meals, holiday coping, deprivation, not having what I need to succeed, over buying and wasting money on things I don't need, what if, what if, what if....I tend to take on too much at once and then overwhelm myself.   I feel success for me is:   Having made the decision for surgery and moving forward in faith and the knowledge this is the right and correct course for me.   Having a plan for the holidays and how I am going to handle them with the realization this surgery has set me up for focusing on PEOPLE at gatherings, more than the food....or hiding behind the food so I can avoid the people! It is time to learn to love on a new level.   Success is learning to overcome my shyness and social anxiety.   Wearing normal size clothes.   Being able to cross my legs.   Being able to pull my knees into my chest in yoga, and to do a child's pose and feel relaxed.   Using my stand up paddle board STANDING and enjoying it without worrying about people looking at the fat lady in a swim suit.   Fitting in a Medium size uniform next summer on the boat.   Loosing my double chin.   Keeping up with my family on a hike - setting the pace, not slowing the pace!   Wear high heels again to church without my feet killing me off!   Leaning to plan meals in advance and blessing my whole family with the changes in their diets as I get skilled at this.   Celebrating each centimeter lost and using that to show how far I have come. ( I measure monthly and centimeters are smaller than inches so they add up faster! )   Loosing to a healthy weight and STAYING there within the healthy range for the rest of my life.   Having the energy to serve in whatever capacity I am needed or can perceive! And doing it!   Reversing the downhill slide of my health from this moment on.     That is what I have come up with so far.....   I do know the best is yet to be, expect some rough patches, but overall life just gets better and better!
EverLearning

EverLearning

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