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Thinspiration

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first dumping episode nightmare and current weight

last night I dumped it was horrible I ate a few bites of my daughters cheesesteak not the bread just the meat and cheese and a few hours later when I was sleeping it hit me it felt like labor pains I was sweaty I was nauseous and I had diarrhea never again also 5 weeks out I lost 5 pounds since last week I'm down to 179 178 and mean

Christina44

Christina44

 

written March 9th Almost one month post op Gastric bypass...lbs down and experiences stuck food and med scare

I weigh 183 now. So I have lost 20 pounds in one month since surgery. I'm down from a size 18 to a 13! I can't believe it has been a month already. I was able to get 1/2 cup in early on in the soft food stage but now I am barely able to get 1/3 in. I drink two high protein shakes a day and eat once or twice. I love the light babybell cheese for a snack or meal...and the P3 protein snacks are a favorite though I can't usually eat the whole thing. My second day on meats I made a roll up with deli chicken breast and egg and didn't chew well enough. The food got stuck and it was absolutely horrible. I tried papaya enzyme and it didn't work...I stood over the toilet for an hour afraid to throw up because I didn't want to hurt any stitches in my belly but it was a nightmare. I kept spitting out saliva that made it's way up every thirty seconds. Finally, I gave in and threw up foam. It was weird. But I wasn't finished, I still felt like a boulder was lodged in my chest. If you've ever gotten a lump of bread stuck in your throat imagine that times 50. I finally threw the rest up and felt better. If that happens again I won't hesitate, I will be sick right away.That hour standing over the toilet hurt my back as well as my stomach. My pouch was tender after retching but felt better the next day. I never want to feel that way again! I am trying to not be afraid to eat non soft foods now so I am easing into it. I have no appetite really but if my pouch gets empty it hurts so I know its time to eat. I tried coffee the first time yesterday and it was delicious! Taking it easy on that I just wanted a taste. Also, I have a head cold. I called the pharamacy and the pharmacist told me I could take any cold medicine I wanted to.. A nagging feeling told me to get a second opinion so I called another pharmacist. I wanted to take phenylephrine for sinus pressure and wanted to know if that was ok for gastric bypass almost a month post op. He told me he didn't recommend it because it can cause a spike in the blood pressure so sudden it could cause rupturing...even with my low blood pressure of 94/62. He recommended no cold medicine...only saline nasal spray. So I suffer. But at least I'm alive to suffer. Really greatful for that voice that told me to get a second opinion.

Christina44

Christina44

 

Post Op Gastric Bypass RNY Day 11 New foods and scale frustrations thyroid

I drank a lot of water this morning after I took my thyroid pill. I have to wait half hour before eating or drinking anything except water after taking it because if I don't it effects the pills absorption. I wanted to get to the grocery store before the snow storm hit so I hustled my three kids into the car and grabbed an ensure on the way out the door. I only had 1/4 of the shake before we got to the store and this was a big mistake. I was too embarrassed to be carrying around an ensure through the store (I know I'm weird lol) so I took my water in with me instead. Next time I will just put it into another container but like I stated before I was trying to beat the snow. I got the cart that allows all three kids to be in so I was pushing an 8,6,and 4 year old (it's worth it lol) plus groceries and became so lightheaded I instructed the kids on what to do if I would fall. I did take it easy and I sipped my water while finishing up. I sat in the car sipping my Ensure until I felt normal again. Lesson learned. I tried another new food today...new since my RNY anyway. I am allowed 1/2 cup ricotta cheese with 2t marinara sauce. It's amazing how the simple things can be so rewarding! I was convinced before surgery I was going to miss out on foods. Not so! I am learning to appreciate new ones. Ricotta is amazing! Kind of tastes like stuffed shells. Before the noodles and sauce taste kind of took over.. This way with only cheese and a hint of sauce the cheese has flavor and is sooo delicious and healthy. I couldn't finish it! I can certainly do this! My scale is not moving. The doctors scale read 191 yet mine remains a steadfast 194. It's ok though because I lost a pant size and these smaller pants are loose already and this morning when I looked in the mirror I actually liked what I saw!!!! I always thought my face was pretty but today I started appreciating my body as well and I can't remember how many years it has been since I didn't look in the full length mirror with a shrug and a sneer and a "Well that will have to do!"

Christina44

Christina44

 

Ten Days Post Op Gastric Bypass Odd Pains and Weight Loss

I went to the doctors for my post surgical check up yesterday and I weighed in at 191 lbs!!! I had another appointment the same day and weighed 191 there too. When I went home I reweighed myself and my scale said 194....same as it did thatmorning Weird. My scale obviously is the one off lol. Anyway, I was soooo happy! I really didn't expect that weight loss. That was ten lbs in nine days! I was allowed to proceed to stage 2 diet and tried my first egg white. I ate 2/3 of it. I could have eaten more probably but I was afraid to overdo it. I ate another one later in the day, this time the whole egg white, with a pinch of mozzarella on top and it was delicious!!!! I put on size 16's this morning and the legs are loose....yay! Yesterday, I had an odd dull pain in my left shoulder and the nutritionist said it was probably gas. Today I have an odd dull pain under my left rib cage under my arm....I took a Gas x and feel a little better.Both pains felt like someone blew up a balloon and lodged it in there. Still grateful for this surgery and so thankful for my new lease on life

Christina44

Christina44

 

Eleven days PreOp

Day three of my preop liquid diet...eleven days to go...I've got this! The first two days were horrible (I was sooo hungry and irritable) but I am feeling a lot better today. It didn't help that I had a raging headache yesterday. I rarely get headaches so it was extra horrible....but as much as I am complaining it will still be worth it. I can't believe in eleven days I will be on the Losers bench yayayaya!!! The months have flown by faster than I expected. I really hope I can get off this bipap machine too...I keep breaking out where the mask surrounds my mouth

Christina44

Christina44

 

Eleven days to go! Day Five preop liquid diet- Ketosis

Five days down...eleven to go. I can't believe in eleven days I will finally have my surgery! Today I felt weak..I had trouble gripping my pencil to sign my name. I drank another protein shake and felt a bit better. I also am plagued by dizziness more today...usually when I walk upstairs to go to the bathroom... so I am working to get extra water in to combat it. I have the ketosis taste in my mouth too but I am ok with it because I know I am burning fat! Woohoo!

Christina44

Christina44

 

Day 9 Preop Liquid diet--- I Dream of Cheeseburgers

I am currently on day 9 of my surgeon's required liquid diet. I thought I was doing well with cravings etc lol...then last night I had a dream in which I ordered a huge greasy cheeseburger (usually not my go to food) made with swiss cheese and onions and gooey sauce and as I took my second bite I remembered my diet and yelled "oh NO I am on a liquid diet!" and spit out the second bite....then I was embarassed because I have good manners and well, that wasn't good mannered lol....I forgot I was on a liquid diet until after I had a bite and then I worried that bite would mess up my surgery lol....what a weird dream.....especially because when conscious I mainly crave hoagies or salads .... also I went to the store today to stock upon cream of soups...I felt slow motion and kind of dizzy...After leaving the store it occured to me that I hoped nobody thought I was drinking or on some type of drugs. Didn't help that I bought a pill crusher too. Along with Biotin. I will post my preop list later.

Christina44

Christina44

 

ONE DAY TO GO!

One day to go! One day to go! One day to go! Breath...one day to go!!!!! Lol My surgery is on Tuesday!

Christina44

Christina44

 

Four days Post Op Not Sugar Coated but Positive

I went in on Tuesday for my surgery. To say I was scared was an understatement. I felt panic right at the edge of my line of willpower to keep calm...somehow I managed to be calm. I met the kindest most wonderful healthcare worker while I was waiting for surgery. He was the anesthesiologist who would be with me during my surgery. He had the kindest most caring eyes and was so very comforting. When I scooted onto the operating table from the bed I was on I was literally shaking. The anesthesiologist put his hand on my head comfortingly as I repeated the Lords prayer and "My God's got me in his arms" over and over again. The next thing I remember is waking up saying "My God's got me...in his arms" and a woman saying "she must be religious" before drifting off to sleep. The pain..oh my word the pain!!!!!...I had heard that people felt like they had just done a million sit ups after surgery. I was mad at the people for minimizing the pain. I woke up feeling horrible.The nurses and hospital staff were excellent at keeping me as comfortable as they could but that first day the thought of going home and my three kids was overwhelming.I had help for six days and with the pain I was in how would I be able to care for them in six short days! Well each day was so much better. I can't believe the speed at which the pain has gone away! Every day I woke up amazed that I was so much better. I had a "sleepy bladder" from the anesthesia and couldn't pee after surgery so I had to go home with a catheter and it will remain for seven days. I am trying to be positive about it telling myself well at least I don't have to get up every fifteen minutes to pee and now I can pee standing up lol but truth is having a catheter sucks. I am always worried about it getting pulled out (I have three kids who are doing great at being gentle with me though) or getting a kink in it etc and its just generally gross knowing something is sticking out of and draining your bladder but I have three days left to go to get it out so that is good. A part of me is worried I still wont be able to pee but that's prob not going to hapen. They straight cathed me twice while I was still in the hospital and got a liter each time!!!! And I barely felt like I had to go...though I tried and tried and tried. I stayed one night in the hospital btw. I thought if I lose weoght and have extra skin I will get a tummy tuck and breast lift but after this surgery I am not ever getting surgery again lol. Would I do the gastric bypass again? At this point in time I would still say yes! But I think I can deal with any excess skin lol. I also have a weird issue when I drink my shakes I get a gritty feeling at the back of my throat. Maybe I am overdoing it? I am drinking two 14oz shakes a day which is 50 g of protein and two small sippy cups of water. Gas X is a lifesaver as well....I barely had any shoulder pain afterwards. I can sleep flat now but not on my sides yet if I roll onto my side it feels like I have a huge balloon in my stomach. I tell myself well at least I am not sleeping on the recliner (which I did my first night home) Also, I did find that it felt better to be up and walking than sitting or laying. Wondering when I will stop feeling dizzy though. Grateful for every day I open my eyes and hug my awesome kids <3 and my wonderful Love who has helped to take care of me and the house and everything in between.

Christina44

Christina44

 

8 Days Post Op Gastric Bypass Noticing a Difference-First NSV

My size 18's are falling off of me and people keep telling me my face is smaller. I guess I'm officially in a 16 now. Going to pick up a few pairs of cheap pants tomorrow to get me through lol.I have lost ten lbs since surgery and am feeling extra tired lately. I went to Dunkin Donuts with my hunnie today and asked them to warm up my 1/3 cup of cream of broccoli soup in their microwave lol. It was nice to feel a small sense of normalcy return. I also think I have an NSV but hoping it's not a fluke. For as long as I can remember when I sit for any amount of time my lower back is stiff and sore when I stand up. Today it hasn't been. I was so surprised when I realized it that I sat down and stood back up again!!!! Once again I am feeling so very grateful that I had the opportunity to have this surgery!!!! GRATITUDE in abundance!

Christina44

Christina44

 

6 Days Post Op My Diet and Weight Loss So Far

Well, I went to the ER yesterday to get my catheter taken out. I could not wait two more days... it was irritating me. My diet has been ok I think. I originally drank two 14 oz protein shakes a day (25g protein each) and almost two cups of water a day for about three days post op. Day four and five I added 1/3 cup of chicken broth...Today ( day 6) I ate 1/3 cup of cream of broccoli soup...had two protein shakes (25g protein each) and am working on my water at the moment. Surgery weight was 203 and today I weighed in at 194 so I lost 9lbs since surgery. I am in the in between stage of pants. My 18's are falling off yet the 16's are snug around my waste and saggy in the butt lol...still...I'm not complaining.I bought some moisturizing Olay face cream today and couldn't get the lid off for the life of me. I passed it around to a nine year old, two six year olds, and a four year old lol...they couldn't get it either but they sure did loosen it so when I tried really hard it finally opened. So that weakness and the inability to put tupperware lids on the 1/3 bowls of soup I was preparing are noted I have been sleeping on my back since day three and last night (day 5) I finally slept on my sides Yayyy! I called the surgeon also because I was getting grit backflow in my throat after drinking and he said I was probably still swollen....today has been much better with it so I am guessing my swelling is going down. I am going to try sleeping with my bipap on tonight. I have been really tired. Before when I tried sleeping with it I got a feeling of pressure in my chest I can't explain....and with the reflux I was kind of nervous about it so I kept telling myself tomorrow tomorrow....so tonight I resolve to use it.

Christina44

Christina44

 

Day 10 Liquid diet....Five days til surgery....I cheated...

I think about surgery day. It's weird, but I worry more about surviving the surgery itself than the actual complications you can have from it....I feel guilty sometimes, like I could leave my kids motherless because I want to be thin again...but my nut told me I deserve this and death is rare...I have decided to believe her. I don't even want to worry about it. I push it to the back of my mind most days. Sometimes it comes creeping up though.... Also, I am worried about what I will be like coming out of anesthesia. Like, I guess we get either super chatty,tired, or cry...when I had my wisdom teeth out years ago I was told I cried...I hope I follow suit again lol....because I don't remember....I think it would be less embarassing to cry. I watch too many youtube videos lol....I cheated on my diet yesterday! I ate three Andes mint chocolates oh my and one today...I fed the rest to mykids so wouldnt be tempted...I have three kids so they each got like three a piece..... I was doing so well smh. I think it liquifies too and will be out of my system and not cause my liver to enlarge lol.....man I miss real food....but getting on the scale this morning and seeing 200.4 made me tear up. I am almost afraid to get on the scale tomorrow. Onederland is a huge milestone and to be under 200 is significant for me...I never imagined in a million years I would be over 200lbs.... or eat a whole box of mac and cheese in one sitting either but here I am lol....striving to be a better me

Christina44

Christina44

 

Countdown-Four days down....ten to go! preop diet

Day 4 preop liquid diet done.....I feel antsy like I gotta do something...but oddly not really craving food....I slept an extra hour this morning after the kids got on the bus...I feel weak like my muscles don't want to work...the edges of my vision went wavy after I walked up the stairs and I was shaky so I ate a yogurt. I am good now but weak feeling. Wish I could sleep but I'm not tired. I don't even much feel like fb and that's weird. Wondering how I am going to feel after surgery and if I will adjust to feeling weak and well...not be so dizzy or weak....the dizziness I expected by not the weakness...It's weird...

Christina44

Christina44

 

I have to give myself shots where?!?!

Today I went in for an appointment to learn how to give myself a shot in my stomach of blood thinner after surgery. I will have to do this for ten days postop.....EW...just ew!!!! Anywhere but my stomach please!!!!! Well at least the needle tip isn't huge I guess...she's like "pinch an inch" (you pinch the skin to put the needle in) and I'm thinking "I have way more than an inch to pinch" lol I'm sure I will get used to it eventually but yuck! I was also feeling better today until I went on the elevator to go up to the doctors office. It was only two floors up but I felt dizzy for about 45 minutes afterward. Needless to say I took the stairs back down lol.

Christina44

Christina44

 

First Support Group

So tomorrow is my first bariatric surgery support group. I am nervous meeting new people but excited that I will meet people who have been through this and their experiences...as well as meet people with the same fears as my own. I am in month two of the process so I need four more months to wait. Four months seems to be such a short amount of time. I could cry I am so happy that I will be able to be healthy again. I have gained four pounds since I started this journey. I needed to lose ten pounds for this surgery. Now I need to lose fourteen. I realize that is not a lot in the whole scheme of things. It intimidates me though. So my goal is to start rolling up my sleeves and exercising and eating right tomorrow. I say tomorrow because the kids are going back to school then and I will actually have time to walk and stuff. I bought two different types of protein drinks and a bunch of veggies and minimal fruits (fruits are full of sugar my nutritionist said) So here goes!!!!! I am on my way!

Christina44

Christina44

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