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walking through this journey

Entries in this blog

 

Emotional Journey

I have come to the conclusion that this is going to be a highly emotional journey. Yesterday was a BAD day. Got my meds stuck! ICK. Felt nasty, and wanted to eat! I mean REALLY WANTED TO EAT. Somehow I thought that because I wouldn't be able to eat that somehow I wouldn't want to eat. Not true. I am so thankful for my dear sweet husband though. Last night at the dinner table I sat and wept over my protein drinks because I was so weary of fighting my desire for food all day. He came over and gave me a hug and then prayed over me right there that God would walk right beside me and help me overcome this temptation to eat. Such a dear man!!! And you know - it helped. I am sure that I am going to have other battles of will in the future, but then and there my desire for food was gone. I ate my protein, went and hung out with some friends and was just fine. I am not great with "the journey" things - I like instant - run and done. But I am going to have to keep in mind that this is a journey. There are going to be good and bad days. There will be days that I can't help but smile because of weight lose, progress made, smaller clothes, more energy, etc.....but there will also be days when I want food and I want it now. I do wonder if this is how an addict feels. Feel bad for them if that is the case! I CAN DO THIS ~ I WILL DO THIS ~ WITH MY MIGHTY WARRIOR I WILL BE MORE THAN A CONQUEROR!!!!!
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What I will gain when I lose

I woke up this morning thinking of all the things that I can't have. Not the greatest, most positive thinking, but that is where I was. So I decided to go off a thread here and focus today on what I will gain. 1. freedom from food 2. smaller clothes 3. the ability to buy cute clothes anywhere for MUCH LESS MONEY 4. more room in my suit case (fat clothes take a lot of space!) 5. getting in and out of the bathtub without getting stuck. 6. sitting at a booth in a restaurant without getting stuck or feeling my gut hang over the table 7. more comfortable in movie theatre seating 8. better sex 9. look better 10. feel better I will have to continue adding to this list in the days ahead to keep my mind on the positive things rather than the negative. YOU CAN DO THIS, SHARI!!!! REMEMBER YOU ARE STUBBORN - LET THAT WORK FOR YOU!
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pcp visit

Well....I visited my primary care physician this morning. He is thrilled with my progress. That was encouraging because it feels like it is going slowly. Slight infection from where the drain was but otherwise everything is looking good. I am thankful for that. I am feeling depressed still, but as the doc said, anyone who gets to drink protein 6 times a day and call it food is bound to feel depressed, so know that even that is going to get better. So, am feeling more hopeful today than yesterday. One day at a time....one right decision at a time....one pound at a time. I've got this!
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Just Wierd!

Today is the first day that I can add something to my diet (beside protein shakes). I made drinkable oatmeal this morning. My tummy didn't love that, but maybe 1/2 cup is too much. Then for dinner I just had 1/4 cup of pudding. That wasn't so bad. Still feel pretty full though. Isn't it weird that 1/4 cup of ANYTHING makes me feel full. CRAZY! Oh well..... I have been sitting here thinking about what it will be like to buy clothes in a small size. I am really looking forward to that.
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hopeful and energetic

6/23/14 Today I am feeling so much better that I am loving life. It is still weird to have to drink and eat protein shakes when I'd rather do neither, but I am getting 'er done! I am feeling encouraged and excited to see what the future is going to hold for me. I'm glad I had the operation!
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