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About this blog

Just a blog of my post op meanderings

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Bones

I'm starting to feel and see bones. Like, collar bones, and I can feel my spine in the neck area (I seem to be losing from the top down and from extremeties - fingers toes lower legs and arms). My wedding rings no longer stay on my fingers. And my calves, which were already pretty muscular and not fat, have gotten an inch smaller - from 16 inches to 15 inches. It is such a weird sensation, feeling bones and seeing results. I guess the swimming is really working my shoulders/upper body and legs. Don't get me wrong, there is still a lot of flesh around my bones, but the weight loss is getting noticeable. People who don't know I had surgery are asking what I am doing. I tell them I log everything I eat and go to the gym 5x a week for anywhere from an hour to two hours depending on what I am doing that day (this is all true - they do not need to know I had a surgical assist!).   I'm creeping up on my lowest adult weight - 239. I was 244 this morning. The smaller clothes I bought are getting too loose. I have a couple of work out tops I got from Old Navy that used to cling to my tummy which now drape gracefully - it won't be long before I need to get an XL instead of an XXL.. Hell, the concept of clothes draping gracefully on me is whole new sensation. When I was 312 or 320 or 335, there was never graceful drape. There was tugging and layering. Looking in the mirror and feeling like crap. Now, there is possibility. I know I've got a long way to go, but I feel like I've come so far already.   Tomorrow is my 3 month follow up with my surgeon. I am interested in seeing how is going to assess my progress. I think he will be pleased. I've lost right around 70 lbs from my program start weight. He thinks I can lose 100 due to the surgery. I have every intention of surpassing that number.
Forsythia

Forsythia

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I feel like I got away with something...tee hee!

Today I went to Macy's - the big flagship store in the Loop. Normally I automatically go up to the 5th floor where the plus sizes live. Today I went to the 3rd floor where the contemporary brands are (like, Kensie, Bar III etc. Younger and hipper, and slightly edgy but not juniors. So, right where I skew stylistically). I found this sheer, embroidered hippie dippy top on the 80% off rack. It was $12 after the discounts. I found all these clothes to try on in my size. Some fit, some didn't. Some were summer clothes on clearance. I declined to buy them because I figure next summer they would be too big. But I was able to try on all these different dresses and tops and stuff that I would have had to mournfully walk by before. But the whole time, I kind of felt like a sales associate was going to come up to me and tell me that my size was on the 5th floor. No one did that. A couple people did ask me if I was finding everything okay. Then I went up the 4th floor and tried on more casual, less edgy clothes. Got a pair of capri pants for $8. Also clearance. Good for lounging about the house on the weekend.   I went to the new Ross that just opened on Randolph. It is disappointingly small. Well appointed, but small. The Ross I normally go to is about the same size. I picked up another bra in 38DD. So now I have three that fit properly. Yay for that.   As it gets colder, it is becoming apparent that I need a new winter coat. I have three. And they are all too big. Way too big. I have this issue - being two different sizes - an 18/20 on the bottom and a 14/16 on the top causes problems. A coat that fits me up top won't zip over my derriere. And I am a person who likes coverage. We're talking about Chicago in the winter. A place that got nicknamed Chiberia last year. Ideally I want a down coat I will wear the hell out of so that I can justify the $250 price tag. But I really don't want to buy one in a plus size. So far every coat I've tried on in a misses size has been to small except for one Anne Klein wool peacoat (in fabulous fuchsia) in a regular XXL (18/20). I really want down, as it is warmer than wool. I guess I will just have to keep exercising so I can lose more weight and get into an XL. I don't want to pay $20 more for a coat just because I'm buying it in a plus size.
Forsythia

Forsythia

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More random musings on clothes, public transit and measurements...

My waist is down to 40.5 inches. Two weeks ago it was 42 inches. I find measurements far more interesting than the scale. But I weight every damn morning. I don't measure every day. Conversely, I don't record my weight unless it goes down. So it might fluctuate or even go up, but I don't count that in MFP. Only when the scale goes down. LOL.   I've transitioned from 18W pants to 18 misses pants. Misses pants are a couple inches smaller in the waist and hips.. And psychologically, it's more fun to get clothes from the misses department or a straight sized store like New York & Company than the plus department or Eloquii. Some 18s are tight, some are not. It's just funny how pants change from cut to cut, brand to brand. For example, at New York & Company, I tried on a pair of plain blue jeggings. They were an 18, but they were large. Later I checked the reviews on their website and the consensus was that they ran big. I got a different pair of jeggings (yeah, I like tight pants and I cannot lie) and they were much more true to the size chart (and size charts are funny in themselves, because my measurements are always larger than the size I am in, but I am not like a sausage in them). Possibly because they were high waisted and a different mix of material in the denim.. who knows.   Also, public transit. I've noticed that people don't hesitate to sit next to me anymore. This is a blessing and a curse. People aren't repulsed by my girth, but damnit people are in my space now. LOL. And seats I would have avoided I no longer have to avoid (you all know the three seaters - fat girls like me always avoid that middle seat. I still naturally avoid the middle seat, but I can sit in that three seater and not encroach on the person next to me anymore).
Forsythia

Forsythia

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I got a coat

One that isn't three sizes too big. Just in time for the polar vortex. FUN TIMES! I was hovering right between the XL and the 1X. I erred on the conservative side and got the 1X. I really think I could have gotten the XL and been okay.  
Forsythia

Forsythia

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Labor Day wrap up., and work musings.

So my Labor Day goal of 235.. I am at 239. Not bad. 235 was pretty ambitious. So 239 is excellent progress. In my four months post sleeve, I have averaged 18.75 lbs lost per month (obvi, the first month was was higher, like 30 lbs, but still..). I am completely in love with the overall consistency of my weight loss. I've had stalls and ups and downs, but my stalls all seem to be hormonally driven due to my period and water retention. I have to really work at getting all my water in, otherwise my body retains.   I've done really good at not falling into emotional eating. That is what I would do. Or boredom eating. Snacks while watching Game of Thrones. Getting cookies from the vending machines after a stressful call at work. Speaking of work, I put my two weeks notice in. Customer Service is not for me. I never did like it, and there is nowhere else I can go at this company that isn't a technical position. My husband is all stressed about the potential loss of income, but this change is necessary. I cannot allow myself to be miserable doing a job I hate that does nothing but bring me down (for an income that barely pays my bills by the way). I probably would have quit if I had not had surgery, but I might have languished until next year when I had more PTO to use. But there is no time like the present. I've spent 3.5 years being miserable at this job. I'm not sorry I put in my notice at all.
Forsythia

Forsythia

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Proof that you shouldn't be a slave to the scale

In the past few weeks, I've only lost a minimal amount of weight. I'm at 236. Before labor day I was 240. I'm one lb short of being 100 lbs lighter than my all time high (335). I'm not here to whine about the scale. I'm here to say that I'm still getting smaller. In the last couple of weeks my under bust measurement has gone from 41 to 38.5. My waist has gone from 45 to 43. And oddly, my calves which have always been really muscular and well defined (I've never been accused of having cankles - rather, I often heard "How come your legs are so skinny? No wonder you have sprained your ankle so many times. Those things are too small to support you") have gone from 16 inches to 14.5. I am sure my hips went down too, but I don't remember the old measurement for them. LOL. So even though I am still 236, my size 20 jeans are getting quite loose. My 2x tops are starting to look ridiculous.   My point is that the scale is not the ultimate measure of your success. Don't pin your hopes and mental well being to the number on the scale. How do you feel? How do you look in your clothes? How much lower is your blood sugar? Blood pressure? Cholesterol? How much can you bench press now? How much easier is it to make it up a flight of stairs without pain? Without feeling like your lungs are going to explode? Don't equate success with the scale. The scale is just one tool in your kit. You are not (and never have been) solely your weight. Don't make yourself that now.
Forsythia

Forsythia

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So many appointments, so little time

Yesterday I took a half day from work and had not one but two appointments. The first was with my nutritionist at 1:30 and the second was with my nurse practitioner at 2:30. They were not in the same building. Or even on the same complex. The nutritionist is at the main hospital. My NP is further south, down by the Dailey Center. My NUT was very pleased with my progress and happy with my eating patterns and pleased with my sugars. She approved me for a general diet again (so hello, protein bars, you and I can be friends again). She also confirmed that I should be eating between 800 and 1200 calories a day (which is right where I am on any given day).   My NP, well she had some other nurse working with her - an extern, they called her, who thought my sugars were way to high. Since when is 118 or 113 too high? Heck most of the time it is like 89 or 92. Considering that I was really out of control pre surgery I would think she would have been pleased. But no. Way to shackle my buzz, Debbie Downer. She kept trying to get me to go back on to Metformin. I was diplomatic, but basically said no. She was all like, "but it helps with weight loss". Sure does, by making me **** uncontrollably. TMI, I know, but anyone who has taken Metformin knows this is a reality of the drug. I go to the gym four days a week. Do 40 minutes of cardio and another 40 minutes of weights. I can only eat,maybe 1200 calories a day. I will do that over taking Metformin for weight loss.   After 25 minutes of Debbie Downer my actual NP comes in and, knowing my history agrees with me and does not make me start back up on Metformin.
Forsythia

Forsythia

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"Congratulations on your Lap-Band!"

So I play Words With Friends. I have a game going with my cousin Sharon. She starts a chat with me saying "Congratulations on your Lap-Band" OMG WTF?! First off, I did not have a lap band. I had a VSG, but whatevs. Second of all, since my cousin Sharon knows, this means that my mother told her sister (my aunt) who told her (and who knows else.. I'm sure my cousins Tina, Debbie, Mark and Nate Jr. all know by now as well). Great. My mom told my private business to her sister. She has no right to tell my business to anyone. I am not ready to deal with my extended family knowing all of my business. And they all will know my business. That would be like me telling my mom I was pregnant and her telling the family before I announced it. So I'm a bit miffed at my mom. What is funny is that I had to be badgered to tell my parents about it. Initially I was not going to. BECAUSE OF EXACTLY THIS HAPPENING. Why is my private business okay for the entire family to know about? I would never tell everyone in my family about some other family member's private medical procedure. "Oh hey Suzie, I told cousin Jeannie that you had an STD. Hope that is okay." It's not okay. Not one bit of okay.
Forsythia

Forsythia

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