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About this blog

Just a blog of my post op meanderings

Entries in this blog

 

I hate being cold

To be fair, I really hate being hot too. But my office is a meat locker. Since my sleeve my perception of the office being at morgue like temperatures has only been exacerbated. As I lose my layer of protection, this bone chilling cold is only going to get worse. Right now I am wearing jeans, a tank top, a long sleeved shirt and two fairly thin cardigan sweaters. WHO WEARS TWO CARDIGANS?! This broad. I'm pretty sure under my manicure my nail beds are turning blue. I'm just shivering and miserable. Every day. The building controls the heat/cold. So there is nothing I can do about it other than complain in my blog and suffer in abject misery. The funny thing is that summer is my least favorite season due to the heat and the humidity. This summer has been really mild with temps barely topping 75 F all summer. In theory it's been my dream summer. But I'm so cold, that I want the heat. I just want to go outside and warm up, only I can't. It's barely going to be over 70F here today in Chicago. Are skinny people always cold? Do they sit around in freezing misery? Am I doomed to wear cardigans evey day for the rest of my life?!   Perhaps I'm being overly dramatic.   This is a consequence I had not even thought of. There are worse problems to have. This blog post is brought to you by me being a whiner.
Forsythia

Forsythia

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Bones

I'm starting to feel and see bones. Like, collar bones, and I can feel my spine in the neck area (I seem to be losing from the top down and from extremeties - fingers toes lower legs and arms). My wedding rings no longer stay on my fingers. And my calves, which were already pretty muscular and not fat, have gotten an inch smaller - from 16 inches to 15 inches. It is such a weird sensation, feeling bones and seeing results. I guess the swimming is really working my shoulders/upper body and legs. Don't get me wrong, there is still a lot of flesh around my bones, but the weight loss is getting noticeable. People who don't know I had surgery are asking what I am doing. I tell them I log everything I eat and go to the gym 5x a week for anywhere from an hour to two hours depending on what I am doing that day (this is all true - they do not need to know I had a surgical assist!).   I'm creeping up on my lowest adult weight - 239. I was 244 this morning. The smaller clothes I bought are getting too loose. I have a couple of work out tops I got from Old Navy that used to cling to my tummy which now drape gracefully - it won't be long before I need to get an XL instead of an XXL.. Hell, the concept of clothes draping gracefully on me is whole new sensation. When I was 312 or 320 or 335, there was never graceful drape. There was tugging and layering. Looking in the mirror and feeling like crap. Now, there is possibility. I know I've got a long way to go, but I feel like I've come so far already.   Tomorrow is my 3 month follow up with my surgeon. I am interested in seeing how is going to assess my progress. I think he will be pleased. I've lost right around 70 lbs from my program start weight. He thinks I can lose 100 due to the surgery. I have every intention of surpassing that number.
Forsythia

Forsythia

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Update on my personal Labor Day challenge goal, and some other random stuff!

You might recall my Labor Day goal that I posted in a blog entry awhile back. That goal was 235. As of this morning, I am 240.5. I think I can do it, kids!!! I originally thought it would be a stretch but it appears to be close at hand. Honestly anything in the 230s will make me pleased as punch. I am going back to Indiana that weekend to see my parents (It is also my Mom's birthday on the 30th) and I know they will be proud of my weight loss. They have not seen me since Memorial Day. That was only a few weeks post surgery, maybe 25 lb lost. Now I'm over 70 lbs lost. My Dad is utterly fascinated by the whole thing. He and I have always struggled with our weight. So he is really happy that I am losing so much and being so successful. He says he is too old to have such a surgery (he's 72, but I think he could do it just fine, we tend to be good healers), so I think he is living vicariously through me.   Yesterday I had my belated 3 month visit. Dr. Hungness was so pleased with my progress. He actually seemed quite floored when I told him I am in the gym 5 days a week. I seem him again in three more months - so six months post op. He said they will be doing some labs. We'll find out if my vitamin D level has recovered. Although my nurse practitioner will probably be drawing for my HgA1C sooner than that since she manages my diabetes. She usually tests for Vitamin D and most of the tests he will be looking for. My daily sugar levels continue to be good. In the mornings I used to always be scary high. Now I am consistently between 85 and 110.   I had an exercise related NSV while at the gym yesterday. I used to always get pins and needles when I used the elliptical after about 15 minutes. Basically it was like my feet were falling asleep. I used to struggle to do 20 minutes on it - not because I was exhausted, but because the pins and needles were so painful. Yesterday I was on the elliptical for 35 minutes. I realized about 30 minutes in that the pins and needles were not happening at all. So clearly that issue was due to me being over 300 lbs.   And, I got this outfit from fabletics.com (my apologies if you cannot see it): http://www.fabletics.com/index.cfm?action=shop.viewproduct&featured_product_location_id=0&product_id=1439782&psrc=my_looks&master_product_id=1439782&original_master_product_id=1439782   I wore the tank to the gym yesterday. It was a little bit exposing. But no one looked at me strangely. No one said I was too fat for it. There was no side eye! I'm just so happy to have more choices in gym wear!
Forsythia

Forsythia

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It's finally happened...

After almost a year my feet have gotten smaller. From a 9 to an 8.5. Even with thick socks my feet slide around in all my shoes. I bet you thought this was about me having my surgery didn't you? That was last April. LOL.   Also, I'm 3 lbs from 199. Slowly creeping down. Lots of this has to do with being unemployed and being sedentary and not having the money to go back and forth to the gym via public transit. The good news is that I am working again and can rededicate myself to it since I have an income again.
Forsythia

Forsythia

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Labor Day wrap up., and work musings.

So my Labor Day goal of 235.. I am at 239. Not bad. 235 was pretty ambitious. So 239 is excellent progress. In my four months post sleeve, I have averaged 18.75 lbs lost per month (obvi, the first month was was higher, like 30 lbs, but still..). I am completely in love with the overall consistency of my weight loss. I've had stalls and ups and downs, but my stalls all seem to be hormonally driven due to my period and water retention. I have to really work at getting all my water in, otherwise my body retains.   I've done really good at not falling into emotional eating. That is what I would do. Or boredom eating. Snacks while watching Game of Thrones. Getting cookies from the vending machines after a stressful call at work. Speaking of work, I put my two weeks notice in. Customer Service is not for me. I never did like it, and there is nowhere else I can go at this company that isn't a technical position. My husband is all stressed about the potential loss of income, but this change is necessary. I cannot allow myself to be miserable doing a job I hate that does nothing but bring me down (for an income that barely pays my bills by the way). I probably would have quit if I had not had surgery, but I might have languished until next year when I had more PTO to use. But there is no time like the present. I've spent 3.5 years being miserable at this job. I'm not sorry I put in my notice at all.
Forsythia

Forsythia

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Proof that you shouldn't be a slave to the scale

In the past few weeks, I've only lost a minimal amount of weight. I'm at 236. Before labor day I was 240. I'm one lb short of being 100 lbs lighter than my all time high (335). I'm not here to whine about the scale. I'm here to say that I'm still getting smaller. In the last couple of weeks my under bust measurement has gone from 41 to 38.5. My waist has gone from 45 to 43. And oddly, my calves which have always been really muscular and well defined (I've never been accused of having cankles - rather, I often heard "How come your legs are so skinny? No wonder you have sprained your ankle so many times. Those things are too small to support you") have gone from 16 inches to 14.5. I am sure my hips went down too, but I don't remember the old measurement for them. LOL. So even though I am still 236, my size 20 jeans are getting quite loose. My 2x tops are starting to look ridiculous.   My point is that the scale is not the ultimate measure of your success. Don't pin your hopes and mental well being to the number on the scale. How do you feel? How do you look in your clothes? How much lower is your blood sugar? Blood pressure? Cholesterol? How much can you bench press now? How much easier is it to make it up a flight of stairs without pain? Without feeling like your lungs are going to explode? Don't equate success with the scale. The scale is just one tool in your kit. You are not (and never have been) solely your weight. Don't make yourself that now.
Forsythia

Forsythia

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Called out!

Every week, I take a class at my gym (LA Fitness) called Body Works Plus abs. It is what I term a fast and light weight class. Fast enough that you get a cardio effect while doing it, along with high reps (as opposed to the slow and heavy stuff I do in the weight room). The class has 2.5, 5 and 7.5 lb dumbbells in it. Stronger people (usually guys and super fit broads) can go out to the floor and get heavier bells if they want. Normally I take a pair of all three. Last night, Florence, the instructor, walked by and called me out about the 2.5s! She said I was strong enough to stop using them. The high reps do exhaust me! So I took that as a challenge, because normally I do use the 2.5s on some of the shoulder work because I am weak like a kitten in the upper body. I basically only used the 5s and 7.5s for the class. I didn't die. So I guess Florence was right.   If this is worst of the problems in my life, I have it pretty good.
Forsythia

Forsythia

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Things that can suck it.

My Hemoglobin A1C is 5.5%. this is normal. Like, perfectly normal normal. Not, well controlled for a Diabetic normal, but not a diabetic person normal. SUCK IT DIABETES!!!!   Also, my NP tested other levels and my vitamin D level is finally normal. My cholesterol continues to be fabulous. And she took me off of my blood pressure medication. SUCK IT, HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE!!!   Bought two pairs of size 18 pants. I'm in this weird purgatorial area where an 18W is too big. Some companies that carrier an 18 in missy sizes, well, they are often too small. So it looks like the only place I can buy pants is Old Navy until I get down to a 16. Damn you, birthing hips. I'm 232. I've never been 232 as an adult. I mean, I think the last time I was 232 I was 14? Hoping to be in the 220s by the end of this month.
Forsythia

Forsythia

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