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About this blog

The story of my weight loss journey. I place to see that you are not alone; I am sure I have the same thoughts, fears, and hopes that other people who are considering wls, pre-op, or post-op have.

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The Waiting Game

OK....11/7/13 I went to the bariatric surgery class and to meet the nutritionist and surgeon. On 11/12/13, I had my psych eval. Now I wait. It is killing me. I know that sometimes this takes a long time, but I have been very prepared and got things done very quickly. All they are waiting on - they being insurance - is my psych eval. It has been 2 weeks and do not have the results yet. I hate that it is out of my hands and I can not do anything else to help this process move forward. I am trying so hard to sit on my hands and not call the psych office, the surgeon's office, or the insurance co. and ask what is going on. This is defiantly the hardest part so far......waiting...waiting....waiting....
JillC878

JillC878

2
 

Pain and Recovery - 4 Weeks Post-Op

Tomorrow I will be 4 weeks post-op. What a ride it has been so far.   My surgery was not until late in the day and did not get back to my room until very late (well, it was dark outside so to my fresh from anesthesia mind it felt late). They could not get my pain under control in recovery. I remember waking up and for a second not knowing where I was and it felt like someone had ripped my left arm off! The pain in my left shoulder and my abdomen were very intense. They ended up "knocking me out" and my husband said they called him and told him that they were working on my pain level and I would be a while. When I got to my room, it was much of the same. I was up in my chair as soon as I got out of recovery. I didn't even let them put me in my bed because I read that getting up helped the pain and I assumed the pain that would be helped was what was in my left arm (not sure if it helped or not, but the staff was impressed that I kept getting up and moving). The poor nurse was in my room all night. They had to keep changing my IV pain meds and giving me boluses to amp up what I was already getting. At one point, my body hurt and I was so tired that I told my husband and the nurse that I would not get out of bed again; I would just pee right in the bed. I didn't care anymore. It hurt too bad to get up and it was not worth it. Then my IV came out. How did I discover this? Well, I hit the button for my pain meds and it set my arm on fire!! It took the hospital and hour to get someone up there to change it.   At some point the next day, I started to feel better (not good by a long shot). They had finally got me on the right doses of meds, but it was till excruciating to move using my core. Things were going OK and then they gave me a roommate! This poor girl. I don't know if I hated her or felt sorry for her. The hacking and spiting all day every few minutes. I could not get any rest and it was making me want to gag. Then my friend came to visit with her son so that my husband could go eat and get out of the room for a bit (he was so good to me as always, did not leave my side unless I was asleep). Lucky me that she is a music therapist! She could tell I was in pain and tired; she pulled out an iPod and headphones....she was prepared! It played beautiful piano music and it calmed me; I really slept for the first time since going in for surgery. Her, her son, and my husband sat and quietly chatted while I rested and they made sure I was comfortable. Again, I am lucky to have people in my life that love me.....especially after witnessing what happened next. The next morning came and the girl that was hacking ALL DAY AND NIGHT woke me up by yelling and crying to someone on the other end of the phone. This is where the feeling sorry for her comes in. She was talking to this person about not having anywhere to go. Her mom would not let you come home, her grandma would not let her come home, and they were going to call CPS on her and have her baby taken from her.....why? Well, because she would not have a second surgery!!!!! It sounded like the surgeon was the one that did not want that. She was in there and getting potassium (it was very very low) and then would be sent home. The MD said her body would not deal well with surgery at this point and she needed to get the potassium and go home and work on her tied first. The family was saying that she was not taking care of herself. So, she had no home and her baby was going to be taken away. (Have I said how lucky I am to have people that love me???) Social Workers, Case Managers, Nurses, and MDs were in and out with her all day; if they were not in the room, she was on the phone. I kept the headphones on as much as possible. I had to walk by her bed to go to the bathroom (I was sick of the BSC) and it felt so awkward. Maybe because I didn't know what to do to help her. I just wanted to go home at that point. Thank God they released me that evening with lots of high powered drugs and incase anyone was wondering, my roommates aunt came to get her. I don't know the story with the baby though, but the SW did say that her family could not take him/her.   Things were not too horrible if I stayed on top of my pain meds (2 types alternating every 2 hours and Tylenol every 4). I had very little nausea, but it was hard to get anything down more then a couple sips. I wanted to sleep, but the bed was uncomfortable. I could not find a good positions. Lying on my side was impossible and flat on my back hurt and pulled at the incisions. My husband propped me up on pillows and that was a little better. There were no rails like at the hospital to help pull me up and it took everything I had to do it. It hurt like hell and I tried to do it as little as possible. When I got up, I tried to stay up for a while.   As days passed, I was feeling better, but something still felt off. I was still having intense pain when I tried to move. By Monday (one week post-op) the biggest of my 6 incisions hurt badly and was red, hot, and raised. I tried to ignore it; I didn't want to seem like I was a baby and over reacting to nothing. I called the surgeon's office, but the nurse was off that day and she would have to call me tomorrow (even though I said the word infection....seems like that warrants a call from the staff that is covering for that nurse). My husband took me to the store because I really wanted out of the house for a bit. By the time we got back, the redness had spread by 1 inch al the way around the incision (about 1.5" around total). This was in just 4 hours (we took pictures of all of this....just in case)! I texted pictures to a nurse I work with and she replied "go to MD or ED NOW". My husband grabbed my purse and his keys and we were out the door. We went to the urgent care and the MD said "yep, that's infected". Starting double dose of Bactrim and some other antibiotic. He said he wanted to cover everything. By the next evening, it burst. It was so gross so I will spare you the gory details. I called the on call surgical staff and they said to go back to the urgent care or to the ED. Back to the urgent care we went. They cleaned it up a bit, took a culture, and bandaged me. The changed one of the antibiotics to a stronger one, Levaquin. I was on this stuff for almost 2 weeks! During that time I got Thrush and has to take Swish and Swallow (if you have never had this, count yourself lucky. It is a yeast infection in your mouth and it is miserable). The Thursday the surgeon's office insisted that I come in for them to look at it (more then likely because the nurse did call back on Tuesday morning and my husband gave them an ear full about ignoring an infection of a surgical incision....they were very apologetic). The cut open the incision and my husband (poor guy) had to learn how to pack and care for my wound. One of my nurse friends met us at home that night to bring supplies and walk my husband through the wound treatment again.   After 3 weeks, it is finally starting to close up! It feels much better now and I can sleep on my side and use my core to move. The Thrush is cleared up and I am off the antibiotics. I had to stop a lot of my meds and all of my vitamins during this time due to interactions and I can start taking it all again. I still have a lot to work on... getting enough fluids and protein, getting my exercise, etc. Everything is getting easier (I use that word loosely); I am on the mend and one day hope to look back on this and say "it was all worth it".   (When I put all of this down on paper, I see how very blessed I am to have the people I have in my life!)
JillC878

JillC878

1
 

How did this happen?

As with many, many people, my struggle with weight started long before I new anything about counting calories and carbs. I was overweight by 3rd grade and "fat" (according to the kids in school) by 5th grade. I was heavy all through school. Sure, I have lost weight here and there, but have always been far from the elusive "ideal" weight.   My sister had a Gastric Bypass many years ago (maybe 15) and she was very sick and is now just as big (if not bigger) then prior to surgery. I always told myself and others "I would NEVER have surgery." Well, as they say, never say never! Now here I am 8 days from going under the knife.   What changed? Several things. There have been new developments - new surgeries and techniques - that were not in practice 15 years ago. I have or am dealing with many issues medically. I have support in my life that is greater then any I have ever known. I could probably go on, but the best answer is that time changed my mind for me.   For the last several years I have struggled medically. I am lucky that I do not have many of the typical problems associated with obesity - high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes. I was, however, diagnosed 3 or 4 years ago with Lupus and Fibromyalgia. The pain can be debilitating on some days. I am on many medications for all of this and all of them have the side effect of weight gain. I have talked with my PCP as well as my Rheumatologist on several occasions about loosing weight; by loosing weight I will take pressure off of my joints and muscles possibly buying me some much needed relief.   This has been an uphill (or stagnant) battle. No matter what I tried there was little to no weight loss. My final attempt was suggested over a year ago and I did not want to do it due to the financial aspect of it. I began taking a prescription drug, Qsymia, that cost me (WITH INSURANCE COVERAGE) $200+ a month! I was on the drug for 6 months, costing me over $1200 dollars, and lost 17 lbs! I worked so hard; I exercised through the pain, I ate 1500 to 1200 (more often less) everyday and I lost a pathetic 17 lbs. ! What the hell?!?!   During this time my PCP told me at several visits that he thought Lap Band was the way to go for me. I am still admit that surgery was not an accepible option. At the end of the six months on Qsymia, I was heartbroken, defeated, and beaten. I called my PCP with tears in my eyes and asked for a referral for Lap Band and wanted to meet with him to talk it over some more with me and my husband. I went to the visit and I had been off the Qsymia for a couple weeks and had gained about half of the 17 lbs. back. He told me that he did not think that UVA would let me do that Lap Band because I am too obese. I burst into tears because I was still not sure about Lap Band, much less getting anything where they cut your organs and stitch you back up (for some reason a foreign object in my body seemed safer). My PCP gave me the referral for Lap Band anyway (probably because he was tired of my crying in his office).   On November 7, 2013, my husband and I went to UVA for the class/consultation and the first words our of the nurse's mouth were "I am going to convince you NOT to get a Lap Band." My husband and I just looked at each other with surprise and confusion all over our faces. I whispered to him "No. I am not going to have any other type of surgery!" Well, as you already know, I did not hold to true to that statement. She described in detail all three surgeries that they can do; band, sleeve, and bypass, and the post-op instructions for each. Then the nutritionist came in and discussed diet for the surgeries. After this, we had a break before we saw the surgeon. Immediately we sat down and looked at each other and started asking what the other thought in the hopes that we each felt the same way; the sleeve was the right way to go, but we have more questions for the surgical team. We went into the room to meet one on one with the surgical team members and told my story, expressed our concerns, and asked questions. Everyone on the team agreed that the sleeve was a much better choice in my situation then the band. I was fighting against too much and that I need to be able to change my body's chemical makeup (this will happen naturally when part of my stomach is removed) in order for there to be significant change. Final decision made: Gastric Sleeve.   Within the next two weeks, I had my psychiatric evaluation and had hospital records from an Endoscopy sent to UVA. The insurance authorization processes for Bariatric Surgery had begun before I even met the surgeon. Now all I could do was wait. It took every bit of three weeks to get the psych eval results and four page document stating at the end that "...bariatric surgery is recommended..." was sent to the insurance company and UVA. Two weeks after that I was called with insurance approval and set a date to meet with the surgeon one more time and to have an gallbladder ultrasound. The appointment went very well and all of my presurgery labs and x-rays were done, we met with the anesthiaology nurse, and a date was set. On January 20, 2014, I will have the Gastric Sleeve, a Hiatal Hernia Repair, and my Gallbladder removed!   Every day it gets closer and every day I get a little bit more nervous. I am not scared. I am just anxious. There is so much to do; train someone to do my job at work (I'm a total control freak over this and it is not easy to let go); get my house and finances in order; get my important paper work in order (you never know what could happen); buy all the necessary post-op stuff; etc. It will all get done (I hope!), and if not, it will just have to wait till I recover enough to do it (again, hard to let go)! Friday they will call me with the time to report to UVA and time of surgery. As anxious as I am, I could not be more excited!
JillC878

JillC878

0
 

Getting Closer

Getting Closer   I am 25 hours and 15 minutes away from surgery. Today I start a clear liquid diet and bowel cleanse/prep.   I consider myself lucky that I didn't have to do any of the week/s long diets I have read about. This allowed me to have a wonderful date with my husband last night. We went to a restaurant that he has been dying to take me to where you can draw on the table (paper table cloths). I had drank wine and coke, ate prim rib, and took tiramisu home for dessert! IT WAS DELICIOUS!   However, the best part of it was my pants. Pants? So the jeans I wore were really tight (and they are the biggest pair I have now) and I was completely miserable. With every bite I was reminded how tight they were. It go to where I could not finish my steak because it was going to come back up. It was a bitter sweet experience; on the one hand it was reinforced to me that I am making the right decision by having the surgery, but on the other hand I was not able to fully enjoy what we laughingly referred to as "the last super".   I was going through a bag this morning and found unopened bag of Snickers Bites. Sadness washed over me, but only for a minute. I have never been a big fan of wasting food, so I can't bring myself to toss them. I suppose they will sit in my pantry until someone say's "Hey, I sure would love a Snickers!" (this is unlikely to happen in my house because I am the only one that eats them). Maybe it I put them in the freeze, they will be the perfect size for me later; much, much later.   I have a lot to do today and I am trying to focus on the details that need to be taken care of instead of my nerves. I can not tell at this point if I am more excited of nervous. I keep telling myself that I have support and this is what I need to do. It feels like if I think about it too much that all of it will fall apart. ......
JillC878

JillC878

1
 

Countdown...

4 days left until a new chapter in my life beings. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed; there seems to be more to do now then Monday. I am working so hard to finish everything and show other how I do my job and make sure the house is in order. There is always something popping up....an "Oh! I need to do this or that or blah blah blah," I am thinking that it is not going to end though. It is more me not being able to let go then there are things to do.   The whole time I have been planning this, I have not said seriously "this is my last so-and-so." or "This is the last time I will have this food or that.". I know that one day I will be able to eat many things I do now, but in much more moderation. There is no "last time" for anything. This has not been an issue to me until today. All I can think about is that I will not have x or y for a very very long time...or ever. All of a sudden I am panicked about it; stressed over never having a Mocha with an extra shot from the coffee place down the street.   I find I am freaking out about the whole thing actually. Tomorrow UVA will call with the time of my surgery. Am I really doing this? Is this really happening? I need to make my menu for next week like I do every Thursday night and I am really anxious about it. Tomorrow I write my grocery list, how will that go? Oh, no food for Jill. All these things are going through my head. Have not slept well this week; too many things rolling around in my brain. Anesthesia will stop all of that!   I know I am ready and want this. I am assuming that these are all things that every person deals with in this situation. I am normal, right?
JillC878

JillC878

1
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