I started back to work on July 1st. I made myself a promise that after I had my surgery I would start looking for a new job. The day I got back to work was so stressful that I went home at lunch and started working on my resume and applied for something someone sent me on Twitter. Today I got a response from that letter asking for an interview on Wednesday. We'll see how it goes.
My feelings on moving jobs right now are so mixed. I've been unhappy at this job since the beginning. A previous co-worker and I started working for this place after our last company was bought out. He was smart enough to leave last year. So I'm excited about the prospect of moving to a better team. I'm not worried about finding another job, the software market in Portland is robust and there are lots of opportunities. At the same time I'm worried about switching to a new job right after surgery and having to worry about complications. I've hit my out of pocket maximum for the year and so anything else that happens this year will be covered without me paying anything. I now have to figure out if that is worth it to me. The way I look at it is that if nothing else, the interview will be good practice for me. And who knows? It might turn out better than expected.
Since the weather finally warmed up I've been out on the river a couple times in the past two weeks. Which always gets me in a good mood. I feel so right, so -- normal when I'm in the sun. I haven't been back out since a 26 year old drowned on the river this past Friday. Such a sad story. She went swimming without a life vest in an area with signs that specifically warn against swimming due to the current and underbank. It's sort of bummed me out in going back there. We have a big float happening this weekend that we've been planning with a bunch of friends for a month now, hopefully it'll be warm.
I went in for my 6-week followup four days ago now. It turns out it's not normal to vomit your food back up after you eat. I thought that it was something I'm doing wrong like taking too big of bites or not chewing enough. I attributed it to something I was doing wrong and resigned myself to yogurt and protein shakes for the time being. I made mention to it during my dietician appointment and she told me to keep trying soft foods every once in a while and to tell the surgeon. So I saw him next and let him know. He thought it was probably nothing but better to find out. They scheduled me for an upper GI that day and the radiologist (also an M.D.) said I have a stricture that is less than 6 mm wide. I didn't realize how small that was until I got home and looked at a tape measure.
I tried calling the Dr's office the afternoon of the upper GI to see if there's anything I need to worry about over the weekend. I had so many questions. Will it close up? What if I can't keep liquids down? How soon can we get me in to get a scope done? Four days later and multiple messages left with the surgical team and not a single answer yet. When I talked with the team the day I had it done, they confirmed they already had the test results. Now I'm just waiting for someone to call me and answer my questions.
I called the office back this morning and they fought with me about why I needed someone to call me when I already had an appointment set up for this Friday. I had to repeatedly explain that the appointment was made before I had the test done and before we knew I had a stricture. I had questions. I wanted, no I needed answers. I want a reassurance that things are going to be ok. And I'm not getting that. I need to be able to tell my boss that even though I just took 6 weeks off, I may need another day here and there until the stricture is dilated and stays that way. Right now I have nothing I can tell him other than there's a complication and when I know more, he'll be one of the first to know.
So I'm a bit frustrated. On Sunday night I started having pain with liquids. I know it's coming from the stricture but I've decided not to go to the ER until it gets to the point where I can't keep liquids down. Until then I get to sit and wait for the office to actually get back to me. I'm pretty blase when i talk about the stricture to people because of all the complications, I think a stricture is benign enough that things will go well.
As I'm writing this though, I'm starting to have some other type of pain in the area where the stricture is. An achy sort of pain that isn't going away and is progressively getting worse. My fear is getting an ulcer. I guess all I can do is hurry up and wait.
It'll all be ok in the end. I just have little patience when I feel I'm not being given the attention I think I deserve.
Two days ago marked my 3 week anniversary to my surgery. What a difference each day makes!
I've been struggling with some deep depression since surgery and a lot of soul searching has gone on. One of the hardest things for me to do is sit still. I've spent more time at home than I'd like to and am actually looking forward to going back to work to break up the monotony. I've now read 7 books since surgery and about to finish my 8th. Reading has been my lifesaver through this surgery. Since I started on soft foods I've been unable to eat more than a few bites before I am overcome with nausea and have to go lay down. And that's been really frustrating. I'm still drinking two protein shakes a day and eating yogurt to balance out the fact that I can't eat any other types of protein without getting sick. On top of that, the anti gallstone medication (Actigall) I'm on really adds to the nausea. I can wake up full of energy every morning, have my protein shake and then my Actigall and a short time later I'm stuck in bed with nausea for the rest of the day, even after taking my nausea meds. So my books are really helping to take my mind off of things while I'm lying in bed.
Yesterday was the first day that I felt any way back to my normal self. Every day I do a self check to see if I feel like I'm ready to go back to work or not -- and every day I get the nausea. Yesterday I chose not to take the pills and got out of the house. New siding is getting installed on my apartment so it was pretty loud yesterday and was an added incentive for me to leave. I decided to go to a restaurant while we were out and try some of their halibut. I barely had a few bites down before I was full. I then spent the next half hour worrying about when the nausea was going to kick in. It didn't! Marking yesterday as a big jump in progress. Today I will go back to taking the stupid medication, but I'm happy to have one day where I felt I was returning to normal.
Summer break started for both girls this past week. Brie (15) already got a job for the summer. She'll be 16 in a few weeks. I'm taking her back to the DMV next Friday to see if she can pass her permit test. Summers are always hard, especially the beginning. My youngest, Sylar (11), has to go to her father's house in another state for the summer and he wants her the week that she gets out of school and will not allow her to return until the week before school starts. Sylar has been in basketball for the past three years and I haven't been able to get her into camps because any time she's out of school for over a week she has to be at her father's. I was able to wrangle keeping Sylar here for a week longer this year just so I could make sure she got into the local high school's basketball camp. She'll be able to meet and work with the varsity coach during camp and get to know some of the other girls in the upper grades that play basketball. Sylar and Brie typically experience some emotional problems before Sylar leaves so I'm glad that I'm able to keep her busy and happy before she heads out next Saturday.
I'm currently in more of a stall than I'd like to be but I'm working through it. It's been 2 weeks since I lost any weight. I took a recommendation by someone here about eating a tsp of peanut butter when you are in a stall. I don't know if it was that or something else but I started losing again right after I tried the peanut butter for the first time. I'm a believer for now.
I also saw my primary care physician two weeks ago and got results from my ferritin and Vitamin B-12 levels. Turns out both are elevated right now so I'm fine eating my gummy Multi Vites and not taking the B-12. I'll need to call back and find out about when I need to take another test to confirm my levels. The last thing I want to do is end up with levels getting too low.
I bought a new board game, Ticket to Ride, for myself as a late birthday present last week. I played it once while I was trying to snack on soft foods and ended up getting really nauseated. Between the memory of the nausea and losing the game, I have refused to play it since. I'm on a quest today to find Elder Sign, another board game. If I can't find it at any of the game stores in town, I'll be stuck going to Powell's for it. While Powell's isn't a bad place, I have no want to ever go into the stores anymore. I included a picture of the current rotation of board games that have a permanent spot at my kitchen table.
Now to get something to eat this morning and hope for the best after taking my Actigall.
Today I had my 2 week post-op appointment. It was originally scheduled for exactly two weeks after my surgery but my surgeon got called out of town and so they bumped it up to today. I'm at 11 days post-op today. My visit with my dietician went well. I was instructed to have a protein-dense diet and stay away from red meat, fruits, vegetables and starches still. I'm looking forward to cooking a fresh halibut dinner tomorrow night. I plan on pan searing the halibut steaks with either a dill cream sauce or with a lemon dill beurre blanc. For the kids and Will I'm going to be serving it over asparagus, though I'll end up just eating the halibut.
I have been going to a local spot to do bar trivia for the past year, essentially as long as Will and I have been together. One of his friends is the quizmaster and our team consists of two of Will's friends and two of my friends. I stopped going to trivia two weeks before my surgery because I knew I was going to have to not go for a given amount of time until I recovered. Then in a fit of feeling sorry for myself, I resigned myself to not going for a few months because I was worried about not being able to eat or drink anything there. I felt like I was just taking advantage of the hospitality of the bar if I didn't go there to eat or drink and just play trivia. I'm still on the fence about whether or not I'm going to go tomorrow night. I told Will I'd think about it.
I'm so excited about moving to soft foods. I plan on having scrambled eggs as breakfast most mornings now. Though I'll probably end up having my Premier Protein chocolate shake when I first wake up at 6 just to make sure I'm getting a good amount of protein in at the beginning of the day. I need to get to the store and get some more Chobani in addition to some string cheese so that I can get used to have them as snacks throughout the day. The current suggested diet is 3 meals a day and 1-2 snacks per day. The snacks on the recommended menu from my dietician are scheduled at 3:30 pm and 8 pm. I'm going to play it by ear and see how I feel in the mornings between 8 and noon. That's a long time for me to go without putting anything in my body now that I'm used to eating every two hours.
I'm feeling very close to normal and every day is progress. I'm having a bit of problems with my attention, however, and that worries me a little. I work in software development and manage a QA team. I worry that if I am not at the top of my game mentally when I return to work it is going to negatively effect my team. I had scheduled with short-term disability to return to work on July 1st, but the first month runs out on June 21. I'm doing so well that I'm sure that I won't get authorized for that extra little bit of time so the 21st is my target date for being completely recovered, both physically and mentally.
On a more personal note, I've started to have sex again. Over the past year it's been hit and miss with either of us being in the mood. But since my surgery my sex drive is through the roof.
All good things.
A few days ago my stomach started itching. Then, my legs, back and hips. Last night I looked down at my hips and noticed a rash that spread from my upper legs, up my thighs and onto my back. None on my stomach yet but it's still itching like crazy. I immediately went to the internet and found that docs at times attribute it to the pain meds.
I contacted the on call docs at the hospital where I had my surgery and explained the situation. The doc who helped me said the same thing, take some benadryl and then she suggested taking tylenol or advil for the pain to supplement if I don't want to take my prescription pain meds. I reminded her that as a gastric bypass patient I am not to take ibuprofen at all anymore (this leads to ulcers and the last thing I want is another ulcer in my stomach).
So last night I took my benedryl and passed out. This morning I got up super early and as I was sitting at my desk reading through the news and chatting with a friend when I remembered that I had this same reaction before. Now I never get rashes, mind you, so when I do get them it is a memorable occurrence. The last time I had a rash it started out very weird. I would scratch somewhere and overnight I would develop an itchy, highly-painful rash there. It began to spread wherever I itched until it was all over my body and hurt so much I finally called the doctor. By then then the rash had taken over some large areas of my body and it hurt to even touch the skin. Even my chin and my neck were covered and in pain.
The culprit? The cheap-ass multivitamins I bought at the store (Womens 1 a day) and started taking. The doc thought that I had been into some poison of some sort because the look of my skin screamed poison. He gave me a shot of something and sent me on my way. The rash started to clear up and I stopped taking those stupid vitamins.
Fast forward to a week ago when I started taking these Flintstones vitamins. I bought them because the surgical team insisted that I need the iron. As far as I can tell, unless I have an iron deficiency I won't need the iron. I have been postmenopausal for over 10 years now. I'm going back to use my chewable gummy multivitamins that I first bought for the surgery for now and my appointment with my PCP is on Wednesday. I am already putting together a list of questions that I want to ask. The cool part is that my PCP did her residency at the hospital where I had my surgery done in the bariatric patient ward. So she is very familiar with my individual needs. Additionally, the office that I visit is focused on naturopathic care, augmenting with medical treatment when necessary.
Up to the surgery I was taking the vitamins bought at my Dr's office (Equi Fem). I could buy them anywhere, I just chose to get them at the office for convenience. And boy were they good vitamins. No limit to my energy and they made me feel good all over. I could really tell when I didn't take my vitamins. Problem is, I believe I need a chewable vitamin now, which means I probably won't be able to take my old vitamins. So now I just need to know what to do. Can I take the chewy multivitamins without iron and be fine or is there another option that will give me back the energy that I am missing without taking my old vitamins?
Also on the evolving list of things to discuss with my PCP include when would be the best time to take my cholesterol, insulin, and hormone level tests again. I'm not diabetic, but I am insulin resistant and I'd like to see if there's some progress made on that since last time my labs were ran.
I decided to head out to find a new and different way of getting my protein. I stopped by GNC, they are having a big sale until June 22 with buy one get one half off on everything. I got myself a little blender bottle and some Amplified Wheybolic. I ended up getting the fruit punch flavored, though the guy helping me said that the vanilla with orange juice is a good way to go as well. Now to only find orange juice that won't have a high sugar content eh?
Tastes very good and is a welcome change from my chocolate-flavored protein. There's also a return policy so that if you don't like the taste of anything you buy there you can return it. I'm a happy customer!
Just a quick blog post while I have this on my mind.
I need to drink more water. My goal today is to drink all the water I need to when I am supposed to. I have 12 oz down so far this morning.
I woke up a few times last night to use the restroom and to re-up my pain pills, but then I went right back to sleep. I got out of bed at 8:30 and started drinking water. One of the things I've been religious about is taking a shower. I feel so much better after my showers. Completely energized.
What do I plan on doing today? I think first thing is I'm going to get out and do some walking this morning. I will try to get three sessions of walking in today.
My mobility is a lot better today. I sat up out of bed without my stomach muscles screaming at me. And I had to pick up a towel off of the floor this morning without any pain. All good things!
I'm writing this entry a bit early today. It's my first full day at home. I attached a screenshot of my MyFitnessPal progress for the day. I'm using MFP to ensure I'm getting all the protein I need while staying under the sugars and fats for the day.
I didn't sleep well at all last night. I'm hoping that the sleep gets better. I was able to get a few hours of sleep in from 2 to 5 am this morning before I finally got up. I didn't end up following the food schedule I wanted to today. Mainly because my sleep was all messed up. I'll try again tomorrow. I took all the meds and my multi-vitamin I was supposed to take and had a BM finally. I was worried about not having one. I had a little bit of help though, because I took a suppository.
One of the food suggestions during this phase for me is cream of wheat with a scoop of protein powder. I use chocolate light muscle milk to mix in and it tastes so good! My worry is that I don't have the ability to feel full yet so I'm eating it very slowly. Cream of wheat changes its texture very quickly to hard and dry once it's out too long. So I got two good bites in before it got hard and I couldn't eat anymore. Anyone with any suggestions would be nice. It's one only thicker consistency things I can eat right now and the taste is so lovely.
For dinner I decided to try some fat-free yogurt with the unflavored Unjury protein powder. I found is that once I mix the powder in to the yogurt, the yogurt is a little too watery. Probably the temperature causing that. And though it says it's unflavored, I could still taste there was something different about the yogurt. It's sort of the same reason I don't do those unflavored mix ins for fiber or drink miralax in water. I can always taste the change and it makes me not want to finish whatever it is I'm eating.
I decided to try out one of the trazodones that I had left over from last year when I stopped taking them to see if I could sleep this afternoon. I took a 50 mg tablet and it worked almost instantly. I slept for a little over 3.5 hours. Waking back up felt so nice.
My best friend made dinner for the family today. Spaghetti with italian sausage and some garlic bread. I snuck a small bit of the garlic bread and immediately felt icky. I chewed it up until the point where there was hardly anything in my mouth and swallowed. Then for about 10 minutes I felt like it was lodged inside my esophagus. That was a stupid move, one I won't make again.
I had 76 grams of protein today from the small amount of muscle milk I had in my cream of wheat, premium protein chocolate shakes - I had two to make up for not eating much at breakfast, and the unjury protein packet for dinner with my yogurt.
I'm getting tired of the current set of meal choices. I'll have to change some things up tomorrow to keep things interesting.
My mood today started on the sad side. But after waking up from my nap this afternoon I felt a little better. I need to get a little bit of walking in tonight before it gets much darker. I weighed myself and I'm close to losing all of the water weight gain from my time in the hospital. I peed so frequently yesterday that I dropped 6 pounds from morning until about 5pm. By tomorrow morning I should be back to my weight I was at before going into surgery.
So here's my first blog post on the site. I just had my surgery on Friday, May 24, 2013 at OHSU in Portland, Oregon. The surgeon told my boyfriend, Will, that the surgery was textbook, and everything went very well. I woke up with a foley catheter and no drains, which I was very happy about. My pain has been manageable as long as I take my pain meds on a regular basis. I'm on liquid Tylenol and oxycodone for my pain. I was lucky in that my surgeon was able to call in a prescription for the tylenol to my local pharmacy so that I didn't have to buy a bunch of the smaller bottles over the counter.
A little background on what I went through leading up to surgery. I made the decision to get WLS in November 2013 after a second endoscopy showed that while my ulcers in my stomach and esophagus were healing, I had a hiatal hernia and needed surgery to fix it. Oh and I needed to lose weight, which would help with the acid reflux. I was at the point where I would wake up in the middle of the night choking on stomach acid that I was aspirating into my lungs. By December I was at OHSU going through their WLS orientation. It didn't take long for me to get all the testing done. I needed a pap and a parathyroid hormone test, and I had already had all the other tests completed in the last 3 months, my PCP just needed to send over the results to OHSU. I also completed a psych review.
One of the requirements from my insurance company before they would approve surgery is that I needed 3 consecutive months of visits to a dietician. I was travelling for work and ended up missing out on my February appointment and had to start over in March, April and May. My last appointment was on May 1st which is when OHSU submitted for approval. We heard back on the approval in a week and I was scheduled for surgery for May 24th. I think my journey from when I made the decision to have the surgery to my surgery date was a relatively short period of time with few hassles.
I had to make a lot of changes in a short amount of time including quitting smoking, soft drinks, and becoming more mindful of what I ate. I think the hardest thing for me was to slow down my eating. I am used to quickly eating and moving on to something else. I didn't like the idea of chewing for long periods of time and really didn't enjoy what the texture of food in my mouth after chewing it for a long time.
I have two kids, Brieanna is 15 -- she turns 16 in another month and Sylar, who is 11. I was lucky to have my children when I did because right after I had Sylar in 2001, I went menopausal.
Brie is a typical teenage girl who has ups and downs almost hourly. It's a roller coaster ride with her at times. She's finally figured out that her grades in high school are very important and has turned herself around academically. Sylar is very different from her sister, but just as smart and enjoys being athletic. I'm sure I'll mention the girls a lot if I continue blogging.
Let's see, I also have two cats. Mr. Mushy face is a lynx point himi and Zim is a black domestic short hair. I love my cats so much. I never thought of myself as a cat person yet four years ago my best friend suggested that I get a cat as a pet since I live in an apartment. I got both cats at the same time and they were such a welcome addition to my family.
I have a boyfriend, Will. We've been dating for a little over a year. We've had a lot of drama since we started dating. Brie really doesn't like the fact that I am dating again. I chose to stop dating in 2008 and focus on my children. Before that I was in serial relationships from the time I was a teenager. It was a good period of time for my family. Just me and the girls. When I decided to start dating again after 4 years of being single, Brie took it very hard. Every day we still are having to work through her passive aggressive tendencies with regards to Will. Though she's improved greatly over the year we've been dating. I'm just taking it one day at a time right now with the relationship. I don't know if it will last, but I'm going to give it my all while I have the chance.
I got home from the hospital around 11 am yesterday morning. I was really looking forward to being able to sleep through the night in my own bed. Yet here I am writing my first blog entry. Since it's Memorial Day weekend, I'm going to have to wait until Tuesday to call my PCP and get a follow-up appointment made for after the surgery. If I'm still having trouble sleeping, I'll bring it up with my PCP.
My anxiety level has dropped significantly since the surgery. Most of the things I was worried about were the unknown aspects of the surgery. What was my pain level going to be? Would I be able to tolerate anything in my pouch after the surgery? What about drains? Luckily I didn't have any drains when I woke up and I'm tolerating everything I've tried so far. I haven't had any nausea to date. Though I did get a little spell of it after I had some liquid colace (a stool softener) at the hospital. The surgeon was quick to change out the stool softener to senna after that.
I'm going to give blogging a try for a bit to see if it helps me organize my thoughts for the day in addition to chronicling my post-op experiences.