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About this blog

A 20 year old talks about her weight loss journey

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Week 1 Post Op: Emotional Roller Coaster

Hey Everyone, I got home from the hospital on Thursday and since then I have been on an emotional roller coaster. I have had so many highs and lows! All I could think of when I went home was " what have I done?" and "is this really worth it?" I had to talk to people to calm myself down. Between the pain and the mental hunger, I was really starting to regret this surgery.   To those of you who think it will be an "easy fix," it won't be. My journey through this WLS has been very difficult. I'm going on my 4th week of having no food, and having hundreds of different cravings. And when you see people eating something you are craving, it is NOT easy. You are so tempted to take a bite of food and you can't. Just plain dieting and exercise is easier than this surgery. So why did I get the surgery? I counted calories and went to the gym 5-6 days a week. Did cardio, lifted weights...busted my ass. I lost 10 lbs, gained 5, lost 2 gained 20. It was ridiculous. I couldn't lose the weight on my own. No matter what I tried...L.A weight loss, counting calories, portion control, "low fat" everything, cut out junk food, no soda ever, saw a dietitian every month for 3 years trying to fix my "eating habits" that to them were not even poor.   Since I started this program, I lost over 20-25 lbs. I started at 270ish and now I am 246lbs 1 week post op. It works, it's great. I feel better about myself knowing that I am trying- but it is difficult.   This week I tried to focus on pain control. I have fibromyalgia and the surgery pain has been very much so heightened since the Cymbalta wore off entirely. I can't take the only medication that seems to work for me because it can't be crushed. It is for anxiety, depression and fibromyalgia pain....So this week was full of just that. Anxiety, Depression and Fibromyalgia pain. Yesterday I felt every staple, every bruise, every muscle spasm times 10. I cried, I suffered and I medicated. Last night I tried to sleep as much as possible because the pain was intense. I woke up feeling better. So far, so good. I was able to drink 4 oz of a diluted protein shake in 40 minutes. Swelling has gone down. All week I have been trying to keep hydrated but it was difficult with swelling. I started liquids on Wednesday, I was only able to handle a sip here and there. Thursday- Friday I sipped on water and water w/ crystal light. At first it took 1/2 of 1oz to make me feel full. now I can drink about 2oz in under 30 minutes and feel full.... Yesterday I was able to drink 4 oz of a protein shake in 1 hour...small sips of course. stopping when I feel full.... Today, 4 oz in 40 minutes. No gas pain, no difficulty!   I feel like the hardest part is almost over and things are definitely getting easier. I feel happier and motivated. Little to no pain! Today is a good day! I'm looking forward to week 3 when I can start to have thicker liquids. Yogurt, applesauce. When all you can "eat" is clear liquids...broth that I don't and never did like, water with or without crystal light, popsicles, jello all sugar free of course... That applesauce begins looking like a ham dinner. seriously.

ChrissyVon

ChrissyVon

 

Stage I : liquid diet- Pre-Op

"This will probably be the hardest part of the surgery. If you can get through this, you'll do just fine." That is what my surgeon told me two weeks ago when I had just started the Stage I liquid diet. I knew it was going to be difficult, but I had no idea how it would be this difficult. You can't eat any solid food at all for two weeks prior to surgery. That means with a normal, or maybe even a little bigger than normal sized stomach- you will not be able to eat a single thing for 2 weeks. Not even yogurt with little pieces of fruit in it. Sounds easy huh? NO. Definitely not.   My surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning, which will mark my two weeks of being on liquids. It has been a challenge. I made it. I didn't slip up or anything. But, I am so hungry! I'm dying for even just a little piece of toast. Every bit of food sounds appealing and smells really good. My mother came to an apt. with me and asked the surgeon "is there anything she can eat that will make her feel full?" And with a nervous chuckle and a sympathetic smile, he shook his head "no."   Now, this would be easier if I weren't lactose intolerant.   I've yet to find a soy protein that has less than 3 grams of sugar, I tried the whey protein just to see if I could stomach it. I can't. So I got some carnation instant breakfast, a cousin of mine got the surgery a couple years ago and that is what she used. I am doing a lot better but it definitely isn't nearly as filling.... My surgeon was right. nothing fills me up. You just have to keep hydrated, drink what you can as much as you can without grazing and just toughen through it.   Also, without eating solids...You go to the bathroom a lot...whether you want to or not, whether you are prepared to or not. You will go. I suggest that people take it easy those 2 weeks, make sure you are always near a bathroom and have liquid pepto on hand. Pepto Bismol (and store brand versions) have been my absolute best friend through this journey. They failed to tell me that part. Someone should! Haha. BE PREPARED!!!   There have been so many times where I just wished I could have taken a bite out of something. A sub, sandwich, hamburger, hot dog...something. And there have been times where I craved mashed potatoes, toast, popcorn...little things I didn't think I would miss this much, haha. Things you don't really ever think about.   BUT I made it!!! I met my protein goals, my water intake goals, took my chewable vitamins and my next big step is tomorrow.

ChrissyVon

ChrissyVon

 

My Surgery Date: 5/20/13

*Breathe Christina* This is it. Tomorrow morning I will have my surgery. It will be the first day of the rest of my life, a truly life changing event.   It has been a long road, I have been to so many doctor visits preparing for this day to come. I have my bag ready, family notified, I am having a visit with a Pagan Minister for many Blessings so that I will have a safe and healthy journey tomorrow. Everything seems to be in order. I relaxed today, took it easy. Got a lot of rest. I am feeling calm now, but I know tomorrow morning I will be begging for a sedative!   I've been repeating to myself "no hair clips, no makeup, no perfume, no nail polish. shower with antibacterial soap. don't shave my surgical site" (not that I would, but it's on the list)   Ipod- Check! Friends notified- Check! Cell phone charger- Check! And of course makeup and shower essentials for the day after.   *Sigh*   Wish me luck, Blessed Be!  

ChrissyVon

ChrissyVon

 

My story

Hey Everyone, My name is Christina Marie and I am 20 years old. I have struggled with my weight all my life, I was a chubby little baby and well, that baby fat never seemed to go away. My doctors always told my mother that I was overweight and needed to lose weight, but unfortunately some habits couldn't be broken.   My brother and I ate very unhealthy growing up, our mother was a single mother with 2 kids working a full time job as a nurse and picking up extra hours on the side. We ate meals that were quick and easy- pizza, tacos, spaghetti, cheeseburgers, mac and cheese, fast food, takeout, junk food...you name it. I loved anything and everything with sugar and carbs and was not the athletic type. I wasn't interested in sports, and didn't have very many friends. Always moved a lot and in school I was always being made fun of for being overweight. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time in front of the T.V playing video games...and then eventually the computer. I had friends and cousins my own age, we did go out and do things...ride bikes, roller blade, swim, dig holes in the backyard and play with worms...you know, normal kid stuff... But, more often than not I was indoors with my Sega, Playstation , or art supplies.   When I was about 7 or 8 years old I weighed 175 lbs, and that is the smallest I remember being. As I got older, I just gained more and more weight. My weight loss journey started when I was In high school. I tried various diets, joined a gym... that didn't work. I started going to L.A weight loss center when I was about 15 years old. My weight at the time was maybe around 245lbs. I got weighed, did the detox drink, went on the crazy diet. Starved, complained, went for walks. A couple months later, I went down to my lowest weight. That was about 219 lbs. As exciting as that was, I couldn't afford to go there anymore, and I was very hungry. I stopped going and joined a gym. I ended up gaining everything back. I was told what to do and how to do it, but those workouts didn't work for me. I started seeing a nutritionist when I was about 16 almost 17 years old. She told me what to eat, how to eat, what to cut out of my diet. She told me to never drink juice and that juice was where I was getting all my calories from. I cut out juice and did lose a little bit of weight. Not much. At 18 years old she recommended that I go to a weight loss center in Boston,MA. It was easy to get too, it was one train ride away.   At this point I was at my highest weight. 287 lbs! I went to all my appointments, did everything they told me to do in hopes of getting gastric bypass surgery. All the staff members were telling me they wanted me to get the surgery, but wanted to see if I could lose the weight myself. They gave me a time frame to lose weight and see where things went. 6 months. I did everything they wanted me too and 6 months later they wanted me to wait another 6 months. I was losing weight doing what they said, preparing for surgery. I walked a lot, ate less, made better food choices. I was graduating from a vocational college and was walking to and from work. Taking trains into Boston and walking to Hospitals for internships, walking to bus stops and stores (who needs a car when you live 5-10 minutes away from Boston?) And even once I graduated, I walked to and from work, to busses and trains. I got an apprenticeship at a tattoo shop, and I walked there. Sometimes I would walk for hours straight... I got down to 239 lbs. I went in for an apt after my 6 months was up, and they wanted me to wait another 6 months! That was it for me. I left and never went back. Then, the guys at the tattoo shop convinced me not to go for the surgery. They tried to play "personal trainer" and help me lose weight. Well, I maintained weight. That was at least something.   I eventually left that shop to do something else in my life. At 19 years old, I moved in with a friend of mine in Rhode Island, we ended up falling in love and I got a little comfortable. I tried to maintain weight, but when your with a man who loved you for you- that can be a challenge. We worked weird hours, so more often than not we stayed home and watched movies. We ordered food- and worse! We ordered huge ice cream sundays and pigged out on junk food all the time. I wasn't gaining anything, I didn't think anything of it. Oh well, a year goes by and my weight went up and up all the way to 250. This worried me, so him and I started dieting and going to the gym 6 days a week. I was doing his work outs, drinking the same protein he drank...I went down to 240, then up 5 lbs down 2 up 10. Eventually I decided that I was going to try and get the surgery again. I went to an information seminar in Boston and then weeks later met with a surgeon in at another facility. After speaking with the dietitian, psychiatrist and surgeon...it was a no go. She didn't want to do the surgery on someone my age who didn't have any children yet.     I gave up, I figured that if I was supposed to get the surgery I would have been accepted. I tried to do it on my own again, then suddenly I wasn't able to do the workouts I was doing. I was always in pain, I've been that way forever. Back pain, hip pain, joint pain, leg cramps, knees giving out, ankles giving out, swelling- you name it. I couldn't even get a back massage without it hurting.   When I was a baby, the doctor told my mother I would never be able to walk. He also said I wouldn't be able to talk either. When my mother was in labor, I got stuck and I aspirated amniotic fluid. I had no oxygen when I finally came out and I had Desipramine Toxicity.I passed away 3 times. The doctors didn't think I was going to make it, they sent for a priest and when he baptized me in the hospital- my mom freaked out. She had a fit and demanded I be sent to Children's Hospital. 3 months later my mother got to take me home and they said that I wouldn't have a normal life. They said I was lucky that I wasn't in a vegetative state, and that I probably wouldn't ever walk or talk. Boy were they wrong, I was such a loud mouthed little kid haha. On my first birthday I got a pair of Stride Rite shoes and off I went. Walking on coffee tables and tip-toeing around the house. I've always had problems with my legs, waking up screaming at night because of cramps...sever's syndrome, tight heel cords, flat feet... I walked on my toes a lot and my mom had to do a lot of leg exercises... but- I could walk! and a couple years of speech therapy and I could talk just fine.   ANYWAYS, that has a lot to do with why I wasn't very active. It was painful. At 20 years old I got a lot of tests done to figure out why I am always In pain these days. Why it hurts to be touched on certain parts of my back and why my knees hurt and ankles.... soo many tests. I tested positive for Lyme's Disease, took care of that. Problem was still there. Everything else got ruled out, so my Dr. thinks that I have Fibromyalgia. He suggested that I get the surgery to lose weight and see if that relieves my lower back/hip/knee/ankle pain. He told me I should go to Dr. Ameri at Winchester Hospital, and so I did. Went to 2 information seminars and here I am.   I will be getting my surgery on May 20th, 2013! I was 267lbs when I first saw him, now a month and or two later and now having been on the liquid diet for almost 2 weeks I am down to 256lbs! I set my goal to be 165lbs because I don't want to set an unattainable goal and let myself down haha. I figured at 5'3'' reaching that goal shouldn't be difficult considering that would still be overweight for me. Honestly though, i'll be happy at 200! I'm excited to see where this road takes me. It's been difficult, but I'm sure it will be worth it!

ChrissyVon

ChrissyVon

 

Day 1 Post Op

So far, so good. Met with my surgeon again today and he said the surgery went great. he said there were no complications with my surgery and that everything went fine. I feel very fortunate and excited to see what's next. there's been a lot of abdominal pain but the meds they have been giving me are helping a lot. I can't wait until I can drink some water, i'm very thirsty and ice chips just aren't doing it for me. also, can't wait to go home!

ChrissyVon

ChrissyVon

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