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The Start To A Healthier Me!

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She Said She's Proud Of Me

I have been a single mom for many years. Yes, I have a boyfriend but have done the child rearing on my own for about 13 years. My daughter will be 16 in August. My son just turned 15 on the 5th.   As I stated in an earlier post I have always been on the heavy side. This is the longest I have actually cared about what I eat, how many grams of protein, how many calories.   Tonight while cleaning up from dinner I was talking to myself about how instead of eating the left over cookie dough I put the bowl in the sink. My daughter looked at me and said " Mom, you've actually been doing good on what you eat and it shows. You haven't smoked in a while too. I'm really proud of you." While I really wanted to cry because no one tells me they are proud, i just smiled and said "Thank you Becca"   P.S. I did eat one small cookie. I figured I would eat one and that would be it instead of looking, fighting it for a hour or two and give in and eat half the plate! Self control!!!!
AnnMarie49930

AnnMarie49930

3
 

Me...

I have always been a "plus sided" lady. Actually, I don't like the term "plus sized". I'm fat! Being a short 5'3" tall and over 300 lbs.. I'm fat. When younger I have tried the fad diets. The cabbage soup diet. The boiled hot dog diet. Done Richard Simmmons "sweating to the Oldies". I would loose a few pounds, get discouraged and give up. Giving up has gotten me to where I am today. A morbidly obese woman. The past year I have put on at least 50 more pounds. And Man on man do I feel it! While I am upset with myself for getting this way I know only I can change the way I look, act and feel. I talked to my PCP about 2 months ago about the surgery. I need the extra help. I know that the odds of me doing this on my own at my age (41) would take forever and would not be as easy. In the past week I have seen the surgeon for the initial consult,saw the dietitian, had my psych evaluation and tomorrow night go for a sleep study. The dietitian said to cut back BIG time on carbs ( I love bread, crackers and pasta! Cheez Its call my name! ). I need to eat 4-5 small "meals" a day and each meal should contain approximately 25 grams of protein. Which to me is hard because I don't eat that much during the day. Night time is my pig out time. When my two children are in bed and my boyfriend goes to work ( he works third shift) I binge like there is no tomorrow. There have been nights I have actually eaten so much that I have gotten sick. I am not proud of this but did admit it to my boyfriend and the dietitian. I have been doing the high protein meals now for about two weeks. Today I kind of shocked myself. While eating dinner i ate half of the fish and said " I cant eat anymore. I'm full.". I never thought those words would come out of my mouth. So, the journey for me to be healthier has begun. I'm excited, scared, anxious and ready!
AnnMarie49930

AnnMarie49930

0
 

Sleep Study Tonight

I have my second sleep study tonight. Yes, I said my second. I did one last year and did one at home about 4 or 5 months ago. Yet, I have to do it again. I'm not looking forward to it. I don't like sleeping somewhere besides my own bed and the fact that my two teen age children will be alone for the night doesn't really do anything to help matters. Oh, well. It's just another step in the process I guess. I realized something today. Its been about 2 weeks of the high protein, low fat, low carb diet and while eating dinner i ate the protein, then some vegetable and took maybe two bites of the scalloped potatoes ( which i would normally pig out on) and said "I'm full yet again!). Proud of myself for not eating everything that was in front of me. It's taking time but the way I eat is changing. My daughter, who will be 16 in August said it looks like I am already loosing weight. I have no idea as I haven't been weighed in a week. I hate the scale. It is NOT my friend but one day will be! I am eating my small meals as told. I now eat breakfast, something I haven't done in years and snack on string cheese, yogurt,or peanut butter. Baby steps... and I will succeed!
AnnMarie49930

AnnMarie49930

0
 

My Night At The Sleep Study

I had my sleep study last night. It went pretty well. I fell asleep around midnight and woke at 8:30. I don't remember any dreams I had but do remember waking about 4 times. Once was for the technician to come in and reattach a lead that feel off from my head. I have very long ( to my butt) wavy hair and he's peering around my head with a flash light pulling and tugging my hair to find that one lead. Now, anyone that knows me knows I love to joke around and make comments... so... me and my big mouth said "You 're pulling my hair and i'm not even having any fun". I'll blame that comment on the fact I was half asleep! HA HA HA Other then my night. Not much else has happened today!
AnnMarie49930

AnnMarie49930

0
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