I was born a healthy baby on March 30, 1973. I weighed 8lbs, 11 oz and was about 21 inches long. In first grade, I weighed 70 lbs. In 5th grade, 120. By the time I was a junior in high school, I weighed 206 lbs. I was 5'4" tall. It's not a sedentary lifestyle that led me to be a heavy girl. Lord knows I was active...riding bikes, playing tag, being the only girl among a ton of boys took a lot of energy if you wanted to have something to do besides watch TV. I swam, I ran, I spent years in the marching band huffing and running and carrying instruments of various weights. Yeah, I was active. But I ate. I snuck food, I binged, I stole food from our pantry. Cookies and candy were my favorite. I would eat 3 or 4 pop tarts for breakfast, finding it odd that m friends only ate 1. I drank milk and soda. I would get ice cream from the ice cream man, hide to eat it then go inside to eat dinner. I remember drinking a 2 liter bottle of coke between my grandmother's house and mine. 5 doors down. I was 10. When I got into middle school, I realized I didn't dress the way my friends did. I dressed in the "women's department" becuause the Juniors department clothes didn't fit. I remember crying with my mom in the kitchen one night because kids laughed at me for using a diaper pin to hold the seam of my pants closed. I remember being teased for having breasts in 4th grade. When I joined the marching band in 9th grade, Mom took an old pair of her slacks and added the stripe for the uniform on each leg so I would look like the other kids. When I went to Europe in 1990, she altered my marching uniform by adding gussets in the torso & thighs so a mens' XL jumpsuit would fit. No one knew but me, but that was enough. None of that stopped me from eating. At that time, my afterschool snack, before band, orchestra, jazz band, choir or drama club practice was a bottle of orange soda & 2 king size packs of peanut butter cups. Fruits & veggies? a rarity in my diet because I was rarely home to eat dinner.
Nothing seemed to take away my need to put food in my mouth. It didn't matter what or when it was. Food has been a major part of my life. A way of life. My life has revolved around food for most of my life. I have really needed to find a way to stanch the flow of food. What would the breaking point be? Insulin? Nah...blood pressure? Nope. High Cholesterol? Oh no. Knowing how rampantly heart disease runs in my family and that my own father had a stroke at 17 didn't stop me.
In 2005, my brother & sister in law blessed me with my oldest niece. I wanted to live for Emma. Still, I shoveled food in. In 2010, I became an aunt again. As I sat and held Caroline, I knew I needed to do something, so I joined a gym and would go almost every day. I joined weight watchers and attempted to stick to it. I herniated 3 discs in my back in 2011. Stopped going to the gym, which wasn't that difficult since I had stopped going so faithfully, and ate like it was my last meal.
On January 2 of this year, during a visit to my endocrinologist, there were 2 words next to my name I never associated with my name. MOrbid Obesity. It was right then and there I made the decision to make the change.