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"Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes."

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100% of people with BMI >30 who lose weight with diet and exercise gain it back and more within 3 years.

The below quote is from here.     Welp. That's depressing. And very accurate for me.   My timeline (that I can remember)   2003 - 200 lbs, graduated high school tried Jenny Craig, Weight Watcher's, Herbal Magic, physician-supervised weight loss 2004 - 230 lbs, freshman "15" 2006 - 200 lbs with diet/exercise concurrent with first serious relationship 2006 - 230 lbs, 3 months after end of first serious relationship 2007 - 250 lbs 2008 - 220 lbs with diet and exercise, then started a grueling intensive 3 year program 2009 - 250 lbs 2011 - 275 lbs, graduated from said program, then couldn't find a job for 4 months, did food and retail therapy 2012 - 235 lbs, with personal trainer costing $4000 with diet/exercise 2013 - 285 lbs, highest weight ever at pre-op for vertical gastric sleeve surgery, found out 2 weeks before surgery I am hypothyroid.   Time to put an end to this horrific yo-yo dieting.   It reinforces in my mind that I'm doing the right thing by having this surgery. No turning back now.
blackfalls

blackfalls

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Countdown to Surgery - 18 days to go

Today is my fourth day of my 3 week pre-op diet. My diet is supposed to consist of a protein shake for breakfast, a protein shake for lunch, a protein food source and salad for dinner, and a third protein shake before bed if needed. It hasn't been too difficult although I have to admit that I have cheated. Here is a list of my sins:   1st day - for dinner I had egg salad which I ate with bell peppers as a scoop. When I ran out of my serving of bell peppers I used a few rice crackers to finish up the egg salad. 2nd day - same as 1st day 3rd day - instead of egg salad for dinner I had cod. Instead of 1 serving/fillet, I had 2. But three-quarters of the way into it I realized it was too much. I ate with my eyes, not my stomach.   Overeating because the food is there is something I am working on. When I have the sleeve I will not be able to stuff myself like I used to. One extra bite could mean terrible side-affects. I will really have to listen to my body.   Although I called it cheating and "sinning" I don't feel bad about what I have done. This is a practice run for after the surgery and it is hard not to make a mistake after all my years of making mistakes constantly in regards to eating. You can't unlearn habits in 3 days. But I am trying. You better believe it. I know I will be successful with the sleeve. There's no other option. But my degree and speed of success depends on my ability to unlearn ingrained habits. And I WILL unlearn those dastardly ways. Enough is enough. I am worth every step of this journey. I am worth all the struggles ahead and I will come out at the end a healthier me.
blackfalls

blackfalls

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