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Just Banded 7/16/07

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Christmas Day 1:13 A.M.

Dear Diary,   We had our traditional Christmas Eve celebration yesterday night. I put on some clothes I had not worn in awhile and I was so at ease with myself. No tugging to stretch out clothes to make them fit better. I just put them on and felt good.   My Dad's girlfriend told me I look like I lost alot of weight. She said "You look good." I just smiled, and said thank you. I mentioned that I had cut down the amount of food I was eating. I did not say I had help with Lapband. I just didn't want to explain it to her. Only my sister, brother, husband, his family and best friend and her husband really know I had surgery. Oh yes, and my endocrinologist and allergy doctor too.   Since my surgery 7/16/07 I have lost, gained had band tightened for first time and relost the weight I had regained plus a few more.   This time of year is always a challenge since I usually do alot of baking. I ate a few cookies but really was done after one. Before I'd eat one after the other. With a glass of milk. I'm surprisingly feeling satisfied after just one cookie.   I finally set up another followup w/ my Lapband Dr. I am looking forward to getting weighed:) this time. I don't think it's time for another fill .   I must go to bed. I'm falling asleep as I write this so good night all and MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Bouncy Girl

Bouncy Girl

 

First fill 2ccs 10/24/07

Dear Diary, It's been awhile, I haven't been on site lately. I'm trying to get back to a routine. So much has happened. I am sorry to say at my last Dr. appointment I had actually gained 8 lbs.. My Dr. was very upset with me. He said you're such a nice person don't you care about yourself? You have diabetes and you're eating sweets. You need to see the psychiatrist immediately at least 2 times. He is a bariatric specialized psychiatrist that uses a cognitive approach. I know it would be helpful but he isn't covered by my insurance and pre-op visit alone (mandatory) was 220.00   He then proceeded to give me my first fill and said no matter how many fills I get if I continue to eat sweets I won't lose weight. He had some trouble finding the right part of my port and had to keep sticking me then manuevering syringe. He finally came in at a steep angle and filled my band. He said jokingly that this was my penance for eating poorly.   As soon as I left the office--without making my next appointment ( I left quickly) and cried as soon as I got into the hall. My brother who had come with me was very worried. He asked if the doctor hurt me, I said no it was my own fault then went home and cried more.   Even though I knew I had lost control and was eating way too many sweets. Sweets are my weakness. I was still disappointed about my weight gain. I now know I should have called the office and insisted on getting a fill after 6 weeks post op. I was hungry and could eat whatever I wanted so I did.I felt like such a failure. Here I went through surgery and I'm sabatoging my efforts. My doctor believes you should postpone doing fills until you have lost as much as possible on your own, without restriction. I assume full responsibility for my hand to mouth disease. I felt like the poster girl for What Not To Do With Lapband.   Now on the bright side-- here it is almost 4 weeks later and I have lost the 8 plus 2 more pounds. I still need to call and set up an appointment but I am not letting the doc anywhere near my port. I have enough fill for now. I'm still getting used to eating post band fill. I've even vomited a few times. Soft bread and vegatables are a problem. I really have to chew carefully and limit bite size. At home I use a crab fork and take small bites. It really helps. I also use a jam spoon and that helps as well for yogurt etc. I really have to plan ahead because I need to concentrate on getting in enough protein. Sometimes at the end of the day I will have a protein shake to up calories and protein.   I am finding that after my fill that I have really cut back on portions as well as my appetite.   I am finally seeing the light and starting to believe I made the right decision by having the Lapband.:whoo: Much to my relief. I was eating grapes this morning, 3 grapes to be exact and that was enough. I chuckled because the quantities I am eating are so small. Yet I am satisfied so I am happy. I find I am more cheerful and upbeat. I even have more of a lap for my nephews to sit on while I read to them. I have also had to buy new pants in a smaller size.   We're going to Claim Jumper for Thanksgiving and they serve huge portions, so I am taking a small cooler to store my leftovers. Leftovers from restaraunts are another thing I'm getting used to. Before I seldom had leftovers.   Well good night all. Take care and keep your chin up.

Bouncy Girl

Bouncy Girl

 

Waiting for 1st fill...

Dear Diary,   I'm still waiting for my first fill appt. in the end of Oct.. I've got mixed feelings about it. One part of me wants the fill ASAP because I'm having a very difficult time staying on diet, and the other part of me doesn't want to be restricted from eating. I know, I want my cake and eat it too.   I know the band will only do it's job with restriction so I will have the fill. I just hope it isn't too tight like some people talk about. Just enough to keep hunger at bay. I ate like Stewart Little for awhile post op. I've since turned into Miss Pac Man. I still want to be able to drink lots of water when I want it. Not the small sips I had to take post-op.   I am looking forward to resuming weight loss. I think I'm ready to get down another 30 pound by Christmas. Hopefully, in the mean time I can still maintain my previous loss.   I see Endo. today, it is my first time since being banded. I need to discuss meds. I take Vytorin and am concerned it is causing hair loss. Hair was thinning some prior to WLS. I have increased protein so that should help w/ hair loss too. I don't think my cholesterol will be high but must wait and see bloodwork results. Well must get rest. See you later.   Take Care All :car:

Bouncy Girl

Bouncy Girl

 

Feeling good today...

Dear Diary,   Today I woke up refreshed and happy. I actually felt energetic enough to do some major cleaning. It's good to feel like my old self again. I never would have believed that my poor eating habits would cause so much angst and despair.   I was even energetic enough to visit my niece and her two boys. I get such joy from seeing them. For awhile there I didn't want to do much socializing. I didn't want to see anybody. It was just too much of an effort. My bounce was gone.   Now I see light at the end of this tunnel. I'm coming out the other side. Thank you God.   I started listening to a book on CD called A Significant Life By Jim Graff while driving to my niece's house. I came accross it while looking for a CD to listen to while driving. This caught my eye and I believe I was meant to hear it. It was no accident.   I am at a crossroad in my life. I've been musing about returning to school to get a degree, meanwhile my husband wants to quit his job and move to the boondocks. He's so close to getting his full retirement I think he should just finish up at his current job and move if he still really wants to. I told him I do not want move out there. I enjoy being around people and I wouldn't see my family as much as I do now. I don't want to live in a place that is so rural and not even green. Just desolate space with a bunch of boulders and very little vegetation. Not to mention extreme heat in the summer. Not my idea of paradise. I love my husband, we've been together since I was 20, I really think he's going througfh a midlife crisis now, I keep hoping he'll get over it. I don't want to be living separately but it may come to that.   Well now I'm off to bed. Stay well friend.:mad:

Bouncy Girl

Bouncy Girl

 

Stumbling-- is this Bandster Hell or what?

Dear Diary, I've been feeling so ashamed and guilty. I haven't been doing what I need to and know I must do to lose weight. Lately I've taken to eating cream puffs... not a recommended food. I'm eating well until dinner then I eat a cream puff (a large one).   At my last check up I was shocked, I had lost 8 pounds in a little under 4 weeks. I couldn't believe it. I have been cutting back on other foods and not paying attention to protein counts or calories. My big worry was low energy and starting to lose my hair. I have been writing down what I was eating though. After seeing the doctor I went home and studied my food journal. After adding the calories and protein grams I found some days I was under 1000 calories with maybe 30 grams protein. Now I can clearly see where My cutting back-so-I-can-eat-cream puffs diet was getting me. Plus my weight hadn't gone down in awhile. Dr. said my body was going into starvation mode and was trying to hold onto the weight. So I started keeping track on Free calorie counter.com and started taking Biotin to supplement my vitamins. I had read this will help with hair loss. My dietician said I need 56 grams protein and a minimum of 1200 calories daily, so I really focus on getting at least that amount. I'll see dr. again in 6 weeks. He said he will probably give me a small fill. It will be my first fill and I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's probably what I need.   Shortly after I made the changes in my diet I started to drop weight again. I still can't say I'm off the cream puffs--but I am trying hard. At this moment I can't honestly endorse the lap-band. Mainly because I'm the one who is controlling whether I will lose weight or not. The band is not really doing anything at this point. I don't want to discourage anyone I just wished I had known how much you need to count on yourself at this stage of the game. (Unfilled and unfulfilled).   I know the band is a tool but I sure wish it would stop the cravings-- sadly it doesn't. Anyway I will keep you posted.   Hopefully with more hair and energy

Bouncy Girl

Bouncy Girl

 

7/30/07 People are noticing wt. loss

This past Saturday I went to visit my BFF. We've known eachother since we were 19 years old (and thinner). We usually get together 1-2 times/ month. She has 2 children, I have 0 (:cry) so it takes effort to get together. We went to Coco's restaurant and I ordered chicken tortilla soup and a salad. I ate slowly, but had decaf coffee (I know I should not drink with meals) when I ate a small piece of squaw bread crust w/ a small dab of butter. ( I would have eaten at least 4 pieces or more before w/ lots of butter). I felt good. We even shared a piece of peach raspberry cheese pie. Oh-- it was heaven. That caused me some guilty feelings--but I decided it was a treat and I would resume my protein drinks again w/o question the next day. I walked 6 miles that day. On Sunday I also exercised and also got in 4.887 miles of walking. I keep telling myself I need to eat well & exercise 90% of the time to keep losing weight.   Hopefully eating small portions will become a natural way of life for me. It really feels strange to actually eat less than what is being served. My friend was initially against my having any type of bariatric surgery. Esp. gastric bypass. Approximately 1 year ago I was scared straight after attending a seminar on Gastric bypass. I thought maybe I really have'nt tried my best to lose weight on my own, so I gave it yet another try so I can honestly say to myself that I did my best.   So I began walking and eating better. No real set diet, just tried to cut back on portions and sweets. I lost 30 lbs. in a year. :clap2: Though Ihadn't gained my annual 10 lbs. I still wasn't satisfied w/ that amount of loss since I still had over 100 lbs. to go. I decided to attend another seminar about Lap Band and Gastric Bypass. I struggled with the decision about which procedure to choose. After many worried nights I decided on the less riskier Lap Band. I knew weight loss would be much slower but I felt I could always exercise more to speed up weight loss if I wanted to.   Well I'm getting sleepy. So goodnight all!:notagree

Bouncy Girl

Bouncy Girl

 

7/26/07 WEIGH- IN (10 days post op)

Hello, Woke up this morning feeling great! I can actually put my arms behind my head w/o that pulling feeling near my port site. I can get out of bed w/o any moans now. Today was my first post-op visit w/ doctor. I lost 10 pounds!!:whoo:I asked my doctor if I could eat some fat free vegetable soup my DH made...he looked surprised and said absolutely. My nutritionist said at seminar 7/25/07 not to eat anything just drink protein shakes. She said if I really need to I can drink 4 shakes. Thank you but 3/day is plenty. I wanted food!! Now my doctor says I can. Yay! I carefully measured out 1/2 cup of soup and I tell you it was just sooo good. My DH said have some more (he knows me well)but I said no I actually feel satisfied...and I don't want to push it. I waited the 30 minutes then drank my water and ta da I am one happy lady, no more hunger pangs. I can't believe I didn't want more. That's so not like me. My doctor looked at incisions and said they won't show much after I heal and that I'll probably be in the 100's soon. I haven't been in the 100's in years..So I'm stoked. My sister was shocked when I told her what doc said. She said she has to get going on her 25-30 lbs she wants to lose. She said she hopes I don't get a big head. I told her no just a big baggy stomach. I wonder just how much skin I'll be left with after weight loss. I'm fairly certain I'll need a tummy tuck. Oh well that's something I'll look forward to. I'm going to dinner with my best friend on Saturday. She's so sweet she said we don't have to go to dinner we can go shopping and get coffee or something. I told her no I want to try eating out. Hopefully I can eat a cup of soup or small salad. I've been walking as much as I can. Today DH and I walked 8 miles. My legs did'nt ache afterward. We overdid a walk on Tuesday. We walked 11 miles and I felt every step after mile 7. It was a bit far. I felt so good going but coming home was rough. My poor knees just can't take it like they used to. Well off to bed.:notagree :clap2:P.S. total loss pre-op/ and post op=22 pounds.

Bouncy Girl

Bouncy Girl

 

Feeling better on day 6 post op

7/22/07 I feel pretty good today. Lost 2 lbs. from yesterdays weigh in. That felt good. I Keep drinking lots of water, 64 ozs. plus /day as advised by nutritionist. I think that really helps with weight loss.   As for diet I'm still on post op protein drinks. I've been drinking New Direction pudding. It's supposed to be pudding but I blend with ice and cold water and make a really delicious shake. I drink 3/day. I'm still having hunger pangs. Also ate SF Jello that helped some but it was the peanut butter that finally squelched my hunger. I know I shouldn't be eating any solid food now but I don't consider it a solid. Well anyway no harm done. 1 Tbsp. won't kill me.   I sure hope I will get to eat something soon. I don't want much-- just something to stop hunger pangs.   DH and I walked the dogs in the riverbed so they could run off leash. It was humid and started to sprinkle. We didn't mind, it was such a nice afternoon. The clouds made for a really pretty magenta sunset. We walked about 7 miles. I was a little hesitant to venture more than a couple of miles... but I did fine. Knees started to ache a bit. I'll sure be glad when I drop some more weight. My knees are looking forward to it.   Until next time you all take care. Good night.:usa2:

Bouncy Girl

Bouncy Girl

 

Surgery Day and Week 1

I was scheduled for 10:00 A.M. surgery but got there at 8 A.M. as requested. My doctor was ahead of schedule so I was immediately called in to get prepped, I.V. etc. I wasn't too nervous once the IV was in place. I detest IV insertions. :faint: More worried about that than the actual surgery. I have had numerous surgeries since 9 months of age.   I was told by anesthesiologist that he would give me something to relax me and the next thing I know I'm being wheeled to my hospital room. I saw my husband waiting there and was very happy. I stayed one night. My sister gave me a bear that said BELIEVE on his paws and on the ribbon around his neck. I keep him close to remind me to believe in myself. I can do this.   Shortly after returning from surgery my husband and I called family members to let them know all went well. I was very eager to walk because I heard about the pain from C02 gas used to inflate stomach for lap. surgery. I wasn't going to have any of that pain if I could prevent it. The walking worked, no shoulder/chest pain. Just soreness from surgical site.   I tried to drink lots of water but guess I overdid it and started to get nauseated. Almost vomited but eventually only burped. :help: That's what I get for talking on the phone and drinking water.   :hungry: Clear liquid diet of broth, SF Jello, SF popsicle. WATER!!   Hardly slept because other patient in my room came in and she was in pain from her surgery (not lap-band). Nurses in and out constantly. I took naps the next morning. I was out. Then my doctor came to see me and I woke up. A woman from church came and gave me communion and I totally forgot I wasn't supposed to have solids. So after a few minutes I was relieved that I did'nt have any problems. I guess I didn't think of receiving communion as eating.   Day 3,4 & 5 I was extremely hungry. I was back on pre-op diet of protien drinks, 3/day. They had kept me pretty full during pre-op but post op I was so hungry, it hurt. I even took Tums to try and stop the hunger pangs. I just keep telling myself it will be worth it. This is temporary. That thought gets me through the day. I actually went up a little immediately post op probably due to water retention. I'm starting to lose weight once again. Hooray!:clap2:   My sister and family members said "I thought you weren't supposed to get hungry with Lap-band.'' I explained again about the fills and that I won't be getting first fill for 4 weeks. I think everyone is starting to understand how this will work. They keep forgetting I'm not supposed to eat solid food so they'll ask if I want a burger or a peach. I gotta love them though because I know they mean well. So this doesn't bother me one bit. This has been a big change for them as well.:scared::hug:

Bouncy Girl

Bouncy Girl

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