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About this blog

My weight loss chronical

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One month post op

It's been a month since surgery and a while since I made an entry. All in all - no regrets! This has been a total change in lifestyle for me and so far so good. I've learned a ton about my body and what I can and can't eat. Yesterday I experienced the pain that comes from eating too fast and not choosing the correct foods. I had some steamed broccoli and salmon for lunch (left over from dinner out the night before). I had a tightness in my chest and severe nausea. And then it hit me - the vomiting. I was VERY uncomfortable for about an hour. I had some errands to run and jumped in the car. Big mistake - the seatbelt made it worse. Had to pull over on the side of the road. It happened at dinner the evening before as well. Had to run to the restroom at the restaurant. Lessen learned. I suppose there's a reason the NUT said soft foods ONLY at my 3 week appointment last week. So back to shmooshy foods I go and more shakes. I'm struggling to get in enough protein daily (80 grams) and forget to eat. I'm not losing as quickly as I was before and it's frustrating but I know I'm shrinking because my clothes are very loose. I'm down 36 lbs. from my high weight on 7/16 (19 pre and 17 post). I'm not napping nearly as much as I was and I do have more energy during the day. The next few weeks are going to be stressful as we are moving so I'm going to have to remember to take care of ME first during all of it. This is a new concept as I'm usually last in my life (after my kids, husband, pets, home, etc.). I have more confidence, I'm taking control and I'm EXCITED for a fresh start
smryan

smryan

1
 

I'm my own worst enemy

Tomorrow will be 1 week post op. I'm more tired than I realized I would be, in fact - pure exhaustion. Since I'm not physically sore anymore, it's hard to stop and realize that I just had MAJOR surgery. My incisions are healing so in my head I'm thinking "I'm fine"! But I'm not. I'm tired. All. The. Time. A lack of calories isn't helping but I'm doing my best to control that with constant shakes at my side. After doing some research to see if I'm "normal" I've come to the conclusion that I'm expecting too much and I'm my own worst enemy. Part of this is my "I'm ok, everything is fine" exterior I've exuded all my life that I'm working on changing (thank you to my therapist). Part of it is "what will everyone think that I'm just laying around" syndrome. Bottom line - I'm at a place where I just don't care. I have to rest. My body is begging me to. So, I will. And I am. And I do. This too shall pass, and I will look back on this period of time and wish I would have slowed down more. But, just in case, I am calling the Center on Tuesday just to touch base and let them know, cuz that's also how I roll. If you need me, I'll be over here sleeping.
smryan

smryan

3
 

Feeling stronger every day (isn't that a song?!)

Day 4 post-op and feeling better day by day. Got on the scale this morning and I'm down 21 lbs. since mid July when I first started this journey. I may have overdone it yesterday though. I was feeling so much better that I tackled some paperwork in the office, threw a load of laundry in and walked a bunch (including up the steep driveway and to the mailbox). So today I'm paying the price with very sore muscles. Lesson learned. I'm not one to sit still but I've got to let myself heal properly so I can move on. I'm now able to take on more protein shake at one time vs. the 2 oz. every hour they recommend. That was driving me crazy to try and remember. So now I simply make my 8 oz. shake and sip it slowly all hour long. As long as I get 4 of them in I should be good...and tons of fluids/water. The Unjury chicken soup protein powder is a LIFESAVER. I don't think I could do this if I had to drink sweet shakes all day long. The other thing I did to help keep me on track was a quick Excel spreadsheet of all my meds & supplements I need to take daily. This has helped tremendously and keeps the guesswork out of it. Last but not least, as much as I SWORE I wasn't going to start dunging out the closet, I did grab a few HUMONGOUS sweaters I can't stand to look at anymore and put them in the donate pile. I love clothes and this one is going to be tough for me!
smryan

smryan

1
 

I did it - I'm sleeved!

I checked in to the hospital earlier than anticipated Monday, Aug. 26th (they called and said they had a cancellation and could I come in early!).  After a few hours of prep and waiting and more waiting, I was finally wheeled away.  Surgery went quickly, doc said about an hour and NO hiatal hernia to repair after all!  Apparently sometimes the endoscopy will pick something up but then when they actually get in there, there's nothing to sew up.  Recovery was long for me.  I had a hard time waking up from the anesthesia.  I was in a ton of pain and almost collapsed when they got me out of bed the first time to go to the bathroom (no catheter for me) but thank goodness for my husband and a strong nurse that held on tight.  First night was rough - not going to lie.  I wasn't prepared for the pain from the gas they fill your tummy up with.  I have 6 2 inch incisions on my stomach and no bandages!  I came home yesterday the 27th and took my pain pills religiously thru the night to allow me to sleep.  Each hour gets easier and easier pain wise.  I'm up and walking a bit and doing 2 oz. or protein shakes at the top of each hour and as much water as I can get in.  My daughter just shared her chicken noodle soup broth with me and it was HEAVEN.  It feels very strange at first to have anything going down to the stomach pouch but I'm getting used to it.  I weighed 266 going in to surgery and gained a few pounds from the gas, fluids, etc. but my weight is going down quickly.  I can't eat until 9/19 when I go back for my 3 week appointment but I'm prepared with all my shakes and supplements, etc.  I'm so happy to have the actual surgery behind me and be moving on.  And I can't say enough about the staff at Swedish Hospital in Seattle - they are AMAZING! 
smryan

smryan

6
 

It's Surgery Eve

Tomorrow is my surgery. I feel like I'm going to wake up and it's Christmas. The future is bright! I can envision a HEALTHIER me now - being more active, less self-conscious about how I look, how I'm always the biggest in the room, etc. People keep asking me if I'm scared or nervous. I can honestly say I'm not. I've put a ton of thought and planning in to this. I've followed my Center's directions. I've lost weight pre-surgery. I have amazing support. And I want this BADLY. 99% of weight loss is MENTAL. I've got this and I will be successful. I'm excited to fit into smaller clothes, shop for amazing jeans at The Gap or Levis (no offense Lane Bryant and Macy's Plus Size, but this girl's MOVING ON), walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like I will fall over, tie my shoes with ease, use a smaller bath towel and have it wrap around me, sit in an airplane seat without the buckle being all the way extended, go sideways to fit around people and not worry about bumping in to them...I could go on and on. Wheels up - let's do this!
smryan

smryan

3
 

Last weekend of my old life

This is the last weekend of my current life as I know it. No remorse, no regrets, just an urge to get a move on with surgery. I'm going to enjoy these last 2 days of actually being able to eat and chew food for a few weeks, but stick to my low carb, high protein ways as I've become very accustomed to it. Sunday is liquids only, no shakes, just WATER. Monday is NOTHING by mouth and a check-in time of 1:00. I'm more nervous about not being able to drink anything for a half a day than I am about surgery. I've grown so used to drinking approx. 64 oz. of water a day that I find I can't go long without sipping. I'm hoping the next 2 days will fly by, filled with fun activities with great friends. I find that with a bit of pre-planning I can go just about anywhere now. I make sure I have a shake with me, some water, a cheese stick, etc. with me to snack on. This will be my new way of life.
smryan

smryan

2
 

My foot went in the Jordan

Six months ago today marks the anniversary of a very important day. The day I put my foot in the Jordan River (metaphorically speaking, of course) and took a leap of faith. I decided to quit my extremely stressful, horrible, high-paying corporate job at a large wireless company, put my house on the market, had my last panic attack and jumped head first, heart open into my new life. Little did I know the changes that were in store for me, including the miracle of stumbling on to this surgery I'm about to undergo. I couldn't imagine then what I know now - happiness, serenity & peace. I don't know what the future holds but I do know this: I'm where I'm supposed to be and being guided by something greater and bigger than I could ever imagine. Don't get me wrong - it's not all roses, sunshine and butterflies, but I'm choosing to make the most of every day, despite the fact I'm selling my home, a business, a rental cabin, no full-time job (yet), a daughter that will be leaving the nest (most likely permanently) in a few weeks, a son who is starting his senior year of high school and no idea where I will land in a few months. What I DO have is faith - faith in me (after a very long time, tons of therapy, etc.), faith in my husband of 23+ years, faith in my weight loss (down 10 lbs. from high protein/low carbs in just a week!) and faith that a year from now I will be a completely different person. Just five more "sleeps" (as my kids used to say) until I check in the hospital. My husband asked me this morning if I was scared. I can honestly say I'm not. Just super excited to get rolling.
smryan

smryan

1
 

Alcohol be damned!

I did something I didn't think I'd EVER be able to do Saturday night: I attended a bachelorette party for a good friend, jumped on a party bus with 11 other ladies and didn't touch a DROP of alcohol the entire night. Well, ok, there was ONE sip at a comedy club after my friend sent her margarita back twice claiming it had soda in it so I just had to see for myself how truly hideous it was. And it WAS. But that was it! We had dinner at a Mexican restaurant. My FAV food in the world. Not a chip passed my lips. No beans. No rice. Just some grilled chicken with a bit of salsa on it and a few black beans. The moral? If I can spend 7 hours on a bus full of crazy drunk people, pass on Mexican, (oh and did I mention there was cake?), pass on cake (I shall leave the "shape" of cake to your imagination) - I CAN DO THIS. Just how tough was this? Oh so hard. Normally I'm the life of the party, and at my current height/weight I can put it away. Bottom line - WILL POWER. One week until surgery. I've turned down fruit, beer (gulp), chips, etc. My size 0, 19 year old daughter left a 1/3 eaten Snickers bar on the counter the other day (who DOES that?!) and I wrapped it up and stuck it away for her later. I wasn't even tempted to finish it as I would have been a month ago. I want to be healthy more than I want the 2 second gratification of tasting chocolate. The other thing I'm learning is that food is for FUEL, not for emotions. Old me: "Hey! It's sunny! I need a bowl of cereal! Oh crap, it's raining, I should probably make a pot of pasta and have 3 huge bowls. Look at that, I'm sad - better grab some chips and dip" (you get the idea). Now I'm listening to my tummy for cues that it needs fuel. Let me close this post by saying - to know me is to know how hard this has been and will be for me. BUT I'm doing it and so can you. Stay positive - eye on the prize.
smryan

smryan

6
 

Low carb is working

I'm down 10 lbs. in 1 month. I started this process on 7/16. Amazing what not eating carbs will do for you. I'm hyper-sensitive now to reading food labels. Went to Costco yesterday and was shocked by how many carbs there are in everything I love to eat. Doc has me on a 20 grams or less of carbs per day until day before surgery and then it's liquids only. I can eat unlimited protein. The shakes are saving me as I really don't have much of an appetite. I weigh myself once in the morning and then log it and my food intake on myfitnesspal.com. Love that site and it's really keeping me on track! I keep telling myself I can DO THIS! I'm excited to be healthier, to be able to walk (eventually jog/run), wear different clothes, etc. Tonight I'm going to a bachelorette party for a friend and it's going to be tough to not drink, but I have a ton of support from the friends that will be there.
smryan

smryan

0
 

Pre-surgery efforts

Yesterday I signed consent papers and was instructed on the diet that will in effect "detox" my liver. Limited carbs, no sugar, avoid alcohol (gulp) and tons of protein. I can do this (I keep telling myself) but have some events coming up in the next 1 1/2 weeks that will be challenging. If I can get past those hurdles, I should be ok. Last night I spent time with a friend that had the sleeve 4 years ago. It was encouraging to have the support and she joined me in one last round of cocktails and chips and salsa to celebrate. The one thing she said that stuck out was how she wished she had journaled her experience so she could look back on it. I'm committing to doing that on this forum so I can remember the big and small things. I also came home with 3 huge containers of protein shakes, vitamins, etc. from the Center and filled my prescription for some surgery day meds I will be taking. Now counting the days until I check in - 10 days to go.
smryan

smryan

5
 

And it begins

I got the call this morning that will change my life forever - I'm approved for weight loss surgery. It's scheduled, in pen. I'm not turning back now. It's time. Time for me, time for change, time to get healthy. No more size 20 pants. No more hiding in cover ups when I'm in my humongous bathing suits. I'm done with the way things are and so happy to be on this new road.
smryan

smryan

2
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