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My weight loss journey

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And So My Journey Begins

And So My Journey Begins..Today is August 1st, 2013. I have been on my pre-op diet for 1 week now and am down from 230lbs to 219lbs. My highest weight being 233 3 months after my daughter Gianna was born. I was diagnosted with PCOS at the age of 21 after years of searching for an answer to my irreguar cylces. From then on My weight continued to climb from 145lbs and creeped up to 185lbs pre-pregnancy. Seeing as I had Pcos my only option at a sucessful pregnancy was IVF. It worked on our first try and my husband and I were expecting Twins in mid October 2010. A few months before my due date I went into the hospital not feeling well and the next day my twins were delivered by emergency c-section. My son was alive for 7 days until he passed away with kidney malfunction. My beautiful daughter Christina Marie stayed in the Nicu for 5 weeks and came home with us on an apnea monitor. I had gained a good 50lbs and been diagnosted with pre-eclampsia and gestational diabetes..A few weeks after pregnancy my weight leveled off at 210 lbs. When my daughter was 5 months old we tried again, and once again successfully conceived my daughter Gianna who is now 21 months old. I had gained another 50lbs with that pregnancy despite normal eating habits. I lost 30lbs 3 weeks after effortlessly, but the last pesky 20lbs wouldnt budge. (Partly due to Pcos, Partly due to my love of carbs) So here I was at 233lbs. How did this happen, how did I become "The Fat girl", the fat wife, the fat mother. All of the things I never wanted to be. I am truely blessed with a great husband, two gorgeous healthy daughters and have never been happier but at 233lbs I felt like I just wanted to hide under a rock. Everytime I saw a picture of myself, it was as if I was looking at a stranger. Who had I become. I tried the Atkins diet and stuck to it religiously for a month only to see a 1lb weight loss. i carried on with it a bit discouraged but managed to lose another 9 lbs over the course of 5 months. In June 2013 my husbands friends wife came over who had had the lap band. She said she couldnt be happier with her results and the band in general. That was it, that was my ticket, my way OUT of this unrecogizable body. So I quickly set up my consult my Dr Barkan at Winthrop. He recommended the sleeve for me. My mind was already SET on Lap band. I left a little confused and scared of what my options were. The lapband seemed simple, easy, you were out of the hospital same day. After MUCH research I was alarmed by the horror stories of the band. I told my mom and husband that I had decided to do "The Sleeve". My husband was very supportive and my mom was a bit scared for me. Seems a bit drastic she said. "Just eat smaller portions like if you had the sleeve." Well why didnt I ever thnk of that. Of course I did. Nothing has worked and that was that. I immediately scheduled all of my pre-op appointments to get the ball rolling. I wanted out of this body as soon as possible. So here I am 1 week into my pre-op diet. I have broken out of the 220's and well on my way. I am hoping by surgery I will be at 215lbs. MY EXPECTATIONS. I expect to lose very slowly as I always have been a slow loser (Except on this starvation liquid diet : ) If I can be back where I was before my first pregnancy before the year ends (185lbs) ( 4 1/2 months)30lbs I will be thrilled. I expect this to be a long road but this road will not end the day I hit my preferred weight. It is a life long journey. This is NOT a golden ticket to effortlessly be thin over night. It will take will power and exercise to win this battle. I can vaguely see a future where I am a healthy and fit mother and wife. Where I take pride in my body and that confidence reflects on my 2 daugheters and teaches them to be confident young women with healthy self esteems. Where I feel confortable "being" with my husband wihout getting angry and frustrated with myself. I want to be a runner, a gym rat if you will. I can see it all in my future as I sit here in tears. Tears of sadness, tears of joy, tears of hope and tears of gratitude to be given this opportunity to become the self that I have always wanted to be, the self that I image deep in side, the self that I knew long ago. It is now Day 7 Of The Rest Of My Life!!
supermom223

supermom223

8
 

8 weeks Post-op Progress (Pictures in dresses were all pre-op) Pics in white tank is me at 7 weeks post-op

As of today I am 8 weeks post-op. I have exceeded my goal of reaching my pre-pregnancy weight by christmas. I broke out all of my pre-pregnancy clothes and they all fit perfectly. Soo excited, and so glad I didnt give up on myself and throw them out..accepting myself at 233lbs. As of this passed Monday I now weigh 186lbs. I was sleeved August 8th, 2013. Weighing 216 thanks to a 14 lb weight loss on pre-op diet. (230) I was an old mlae aquaintance at the gym yesterday. My first thought was oh I hope he doesnt see me. I have tried to avoid seeing people that I havent seen since gaining weight from my pregnancy (50lbs) But it dawned on my, I am the same weight now as when I made my grand entrance into a friends wedding wearing a sexy black dress and turned a few heads (including his) I kept on walking kind of in awe at how far I have come in such a short time, and also realizing, that my mind has yet to catch up wih my new body. I am still 230 lbs in my head. But Let me tell you I feel great! I still have a long way to go, But as of today I cant wait for what the future brings. I reread my past blog entries from a few months ago and I was nearly in tears. This is truely the best decision I have ever made for myself. I have had NO issues with food what so ever. I can pretty much eat anything on my approved foods list. I did stall for over 2 weeks once I hot 191lbs. Then I had my AF and afterwards 5 lbs magically. During AF I had an overwhelming urge to graze during the day. I had me very worried that my appetite had increased and I was failing. But after the 5 lb weight loss I realized it was just that TOM. I do have to watch the grazing as i have 2 kids and its very easy to pick at their leftovers, and just snacking in general. I also find that after a meal I dont stay that full for long.. Not hungry but not FULL. I started back at the gym 5 days a week. Only 20 minutes on treadmill and 20 minutes or so of weight training. I found that I was hungrier after doing so much so I decreased my gym to 3 days a week but still try to get in a walk every day. I went to the mall the other day and didnt feel weird walking in regular size stores. I hated the clothes however because they all seem like oversized shirts. Hello,, wheres the tight tuck me in at the waist clothes. So at least I wasnt tempted to spend money.. lol My hubby and I booked an all inclusive getaway without the kids for my birthday February 23rd, 2014. I hope by then I will be at or near my personal goal of 145-150lbs. When we went away on our honeymoon I was 170lbs and felt great. I can only imagine being 145lbs. My next goal for myself is 170lbs which is my wedding weight and will try on my wedding dress! If I can meet this goal by Christmas/New years I will be thrilled. FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I HAVE FINALLY FOLLOWED THROUGH ON MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION TO LOSE WEIGHT!!!
supermom223

supermom223

3
 

I'm in ONEderland 2 week surgiversary!

It has been 2 weeks and one day since I had my surgery. I started at 230lbs before my pre-op diet. Surgery date I was 216. As of yesterday the scale hit 199. I was soooo excited to break out of the 200lbs. I was sooo hard for me to lose even 10 lbs pre surgery. It took me 6 months to do so. As of today I lose a total of 31lbs in 1 month. My goal is to get off the 9 more pounds that I had on me from my first child, and then I will put the scale away for a bit as I have been weighing myself every morning counting down till onederalnd! So I started Purees yesterday. My first meal was 1 hard boiled egg, 1 teaspoon miracle whip, 1/2 teaspoon of hummus. I was so ecited to eat "real" food, I scarfed it down a little too quickly. Dont know what was wrong with me, I guess after a month of liquids I was like "GIVE ME FOOD!" So I was only able to eat 1/2 an egg until I was burping and felt full. Although I am not too sure what FULL feels like post op...I burp and my tummy feels like theres stuff in there but that happens very quickly. For lunch I pureed cottage cheese (YUM) and mixed a baby spoonful in with the egg and it was MUCH easier to get down. I have also heard people say its harder to eat in the morning. For dinner I pureed refried beans with some salsa, topped with a pinch of cheddar cheese melted and topped with babyspoon full of sour cream. OMG sooo freakin yummy and slightly spicy from salsa. Sooo sad Iwas only able to eat 1ozif that. I think Im too scared to eat too much and since Im not sure what the warning signs are of being full its only a matter of time before I overdo it and learn for myself. Since I am never hungry, How can I feel satisfied. I would have been "Head" satisfied if I could finish my 1oz of refried beans. I have been doing 2 protein shakes in between each meal. WIth all this eating, waiting and drinking shakes I have nooo time for my water. I try to drink as much as I can at night an hour after dinner. I mean do I have to wake up at 3am just to get in all my calories protein and water. Im only getting about 300 calories, maybe slightly more now that Im on purees. My protein intake is around 50 2 weeks post op (working on it.) and my water intake counting 2 protein shakesmaybe 42oz per day max. Yesterday I felt lightheaded and dizzy and I knew it was because I am not getting enough of anything. As soon as I drink my protein shake it is like rocket fuel and I'm speedy gonzalez again. As far as my recovery, I was driving 6 days post-op, had a party for 30ppl at my house for my daugters bday, been walking and running around with kids to parks, playgrounds, pools(even though I cant go in) This week was the first time I fely very LOW energy. So I am really trying to get in more protein water and calories. HW: 233, Pre-pre.op 230, day of surgery 216, came home from surgery 227 (lol) fluid. Current weight 198. My goal by 3 weeks post op (Next thursday) is 190lbs. My goal after that is my wedding day weight of 170 by Christmas, And 150 by my February 23rd Birthday! That would be amazing!!!
supermom223

supermom223

3
 

On The Other Side

I am Finally On The Other Side..I am now Post-Op. August 8th I awoke, cool as a cucumber. Today was the day that my life would forever change. Today was the day that I would be getting my vertical sleeve gastrectomy. When I arrived at the hospital at 530AM I was quickly greeted and prepped for surgery and asked a gazillion questions. My husband waited with me until 7AM when I was swept off to the OR. As I sat on the operating table I saw my refection through the mirrored light. Goodbye old friend I said to myself. I prayed silently the prayer that my daughter and I say every night together "Now I lay me down to sleep" and before I knew it I was in LaLa land. Next thing I knew I awoke. Ughhh the GAS. More pain killers Please. I stayed in ICU over night where I was bothered every hour or so to get up and walk to the bathroom. 5 more minutes I pleaded like a teenager. I was so incredibly naseaus but scared to death to vomit that I didnt want to move much. The few times I did get up I had to stop myself from getting sick. Finally the next morning I did my Barium swallow to check for leaks. As yucky as that stuff was it felt soooo nice going down my dry sore throat! Everything looked great and I finally got to meet my new stomach on the utrasound machine. Like a new momma seeing her unborn baby during an ultrasound..It looked like a little jelly bean..awe so cute lololol. When the moved me to a new room I was Incredibly nauseous from the wheel chair ride. The room smelled like food or I was just HYPER sensitive. I quickly realized 1 day Post-op that it was the pain killers making me so sick. So I decided to forgo the meds! I felt much better after that. I took a few sips of chicken broth but as I stared at my bottles of water piling up from meal trays I really wanted nothing at all I began walking the halls but really just wanted to go home to my kids ang husband. The gas was still horrible. So bad that it felt like it was all the way up to my throat. On day 3 I put on my makeup brushed my hair and I was out the door. As I emerged from the hospital in my wheel chair I felt like a new person, it was my rebirth. My husband greeted me at the door and helped me to the car. On the way home every bump in the road hurt since I was no longer on pain meds. When I got home I was welcomed by my two girls who were sooo excited to see me they were pulling on my dress.. Mommy I missed you..up up. It was heart breaking that after being away from them for 3 days I couldnt scoop them up and smoothing them with kisses. I layed on the couch and tried to rest as they climbed all over me, kissing me : ) I ate nothing and vowed to start the following day with my Isopures. First day home I started my Isopures at 9am sipping slowly. I went to my parents so the kids could go in the pool and my parents were cooking dinner for everyone. I showered, put on makeup, slipped into a sundress, dryed my hair and we were off. It felt great to look like a normal person again. My parents said I looked great, like I never had surgery. I spent the day hanging out and sipping on my isopure. By 10Pm that Isopure was only 3/4's of the way finished. Never mind chicken broth or anything else. I couldnt even finish that with a full days effort. When I weight myself I had gained 11 pounds since my pre-op surgery day weigh in. I knew it was from all the gas and fluids in the hospital but called the nurse to check. A few days later i was down for a total of 17 lbs since i started my pre-op diet. People were already saying how I look like I lost weight. 6 Days post-op was my daughters 3rd birthday party. I got in my car and we drove to the mall/movie theather. We walked around the malI and she picked out 1 special gift! We saw a movie and headed home. I wasnt up to having a full 4 hour dinner party so we just did cake and coffee. 30 people arrived at my house. I felt great! I was running around like I was back to my old self. Cutting cake, serving coffee, helping my little one blow out her candles and open presents! I was a little sore after the night was over but that was understandable. So here I am 7 days post -op. I was 230 lbs the day before my pre-op diet started. As of last night I weighed 213lbs. Later on today I have my 1 week post-op appointment wih Dr. Barkan. I pray he puts me on full liquids. Missing my Protein shakes and yogurts!!!
supermom223

supermom223

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